I Am No Chicken

Or so, many think.

In real life, I am not. No one in the right frame of mind would want to jump off an airplane, let alone jump in conditions where wind speed would cause the temperature to drop to -111 degrees Celcius, or jump off a building without prior training, or ride a jet-ski 1000 kilometers including in the middle of the night and in thunderstorms. Other do or die stuff include blowing up a grenade that did not go off at the range (putting a bit of C4, lighting up the det cord, and try to make as big a distance from the grenade without setting it off before the C4 blows it up), opening my chute as low as possible, and so on. If you can consider drinking a bottle of curd as a brave act, then I should add that too.

That’s as far as it goes.

I met Yummy Baby the first time during the fasting month of 2007…early September, sometime. I was going out with a common online friend of ours, while she was with Penjual Daging, a former colleague of hers who thought selling imported quality meat can make fast money (sorry, the general Malaysian population would buy even meat of cows that had bovine diseases as long as they are cheap). We met again one night when she was down and I was on my way home; then again just a few days before Hari Raya when my problems with the person I was going out with began. The latter wanted to buy some meat from Penjual Daging‘s place. Then I was put on hold by the person mentioned (imagine your life’s plan in the hands of someone else); and although intuition told me that she was leaving me, she left me in a distasteful manner. We met one other time when we had lunch with Spena in attendance. I accompanied her to a boutique, then to a bookstore, then walked her to her car, hugged her, and kissed her cheeks – never to see her again for the next 4 months.

As I wallowed in pain, as usual, friends would keep a distance, maybe because the one who left me is also a common friend to us. Only three people were there for me – Yummy Baby, Spena and Hazyr. But deep inside, I felt that only Yummy Baby could understand me best because she was going through what I was in two months earlier. But she, too, had her own set of problems to handle.

We kept in touch, albeit rarely, via YM and SMS. I would comment on her blog. Her SMS would trigger my facial muscles to re-learn how to smile. Those SMSes meant nothing, but somehow they always mean a lot. Then I learnt that she had so many suitors, including a former classmate of mine, and a few of my immediate juniors from Sekolah Melayu Jalan Stesen (not including the ones from stupid schools that taught them how to put up collars, wear tight-fitting tops while concentrating very little on spelling and etiquette, and make stumpies do high jumps or play basketball). Most of them go to Dubai via First Class, chill next to a fireplace in Fraser’s Hills while claiming to be somewhere in Switzerland, or drive Beemers that I once rode in – it was a cab in Geneva. So, I was like, “Ahh…expensive taste.” I mean, who was I compared to guys who go for wine buffet at KL Hilton while I would go only for nasi air buffet somewhere in Kampung Baru? I’m a cheapskate! The sugar stock I have at home are all taken from McDonald’s! So I turned chicken because I felt inferior.

Anyway, Burger Nite (12th March 2008) changed all that. I was so happy to see her. When we were in her kitchen, for some reason she fumbled with the things she tried putting into her overloaded fridge, and I helped her rearranged. Then, I said to myself, “It’s now or never, because the next time you’ll get to see her is probably half a year from now. The most she would do is slap you and chase you out.” I kissed her cheeks, hugged her, and lifted her. Yeah, it was a cheap trick – but I had to do it, because we rarely saw each other, so what the heck, right? Sparks flew and ignited a fire. We were so comfortable with each other that night that Rainmaker noticed the vibes and asked Aiz about it.

Two days later, over YM, she proposed to me. And we went for our first date (ala Cerekarama setting with orange juice next to a pool) the very next night. The rest, as they say, is history. It was about 100 days after a certain someone ended a relationship with me.

All I can say now is, Yummy Baby has shown me that dreams can come true, and that almost all my wishes in life has been fulfilled. Now, I look forward to a new day every day.

So, there you have it, Jazzy. I am no chicken.