SeaDemon Says

Satu Hari Di Supermarket…Atau Aku Sebenarnya Tak Tahu Nak Tulis Pasal Apa Jadi Aku Kasi Aje Topic Title

Posted on: May 22, 2008

  • In: Daily Whatevers | What da f***!!
  • Comments Off on Satu Hari Di Supermarket…Atau Aku Sebenarnya Tak Tahu Nak Tulis Pasal Apa Jadi Aku Kasi Aje Topic Title

Macam cibai.

Kereta Toyota Avanza depan aku bawak 50km/j aje kat lane laju. Mula-mula tu aku buat donno aje sebab mungkin dia akan ke tepi sebab nampak aku kat belakang. Lepas seminit, dia macam tak nak ke tepi. Mula aku naik bengkek dengan driver bangang ni. Aku cuba nak tengok muka dia dalam dia punya rear view mirror – TAK ADA! Bukan cermin tak ada, tapi tak nampak muka driver. Aku tenung dalam side mirror kanan dia pun aku tak nampak apa-apa. Vampire ke apa yang bawak kereta ni? Tapi tengahari. Takkan Dracula bawak kereta tengahari? Mamat tu kan ada psoriasis tak boleh kena cahaya matahari. Nanti mata dia jadi macam Glaucoma Monkey.

Lantas aku memintas si bangang ni dari kiri sambil pandang ke kanan nak tengok siapa yang bawak kereta macam sial ni. Terkejut aku melihat seorang perempuan bertudung labuh berumur separuh abad tetapi mungkin berusia sekitar lewat duapuluhan tetapi suaminya jenis pancut cepat hanya dengan melihat lengannya yang meledut kulit, tetapi dia sendiri tidak pernah mencapai puncak orgasme. Pulak tu, lehernya bak zirafah spastik kerana matanya berada sama tinggi dengan dashboard.

Mana punya cipet yang jadi driving instructor dia ni? Mesti nak kena kasi babychair baru boleh nampak depan. MACAM BAWAK KERETA KEBAL! Nampak atas dahi aje kalau tengok dari depan.

Semalam, aku balun lontong kering. Cerita tentang aku berak lepas makan lontong kering ada di dalam posting yang sebelum ni. Kalau yang tak faham Bahasa Inggeris, sila pergi ke laman web ni untuk membaca cerita penuh tentang kejadian berak semalam: CERITA BERAK LEPAS MAKAN LONTONG KERING Tapi lontong kering memang sedap. Macam makan lontong basah – cuma tak ada kuah. Aku sebenarnya dah lama tak makan masakan Johor. Dulu aku rajin jugak membalun benda-benda ni dan makan Laksa Johor dengan tangan. Cerita pasal Laksa Johor, ada la anak Datuk yang agak baghal, dan berasal dari Johor, yang makan Laksa Johor dengan sudu garfu sebab GELI. Dia tak sedar dia lahir dulu keluar dari cipap aje kengkadang mak dia terkeluar taik lagi nak mengeluarkan dia. Dah la membesar bagai johan sehingga beratnya membuat aku terasa kurus…pelik macam mana besar tu boleh keluar dari lubang sempit tu.

Yang sayangnya, Johor kini dah dicemari oleh seseorang Bangla yang berasal dari Negeri Sembilan. Aku malas nak cerita involvement mamat bangla ni di Johor. Aku mulanya ingat dia nak cari kerja di stesen minyak berhampiran dengan Jalan Wong Ah Fook. Rupa-rupanya dia menjemput rakan-rakan dari Singapura untuk memanjangkan kejangkauan pengaruh mereka di selatan tanah air. Aku cukup tak faham macam mana Yummy Baby dan Liverpool Babe boleh kata mamat bangla ni HOT. Bangla cuma hot sebab dia kerja angkat batu bata bawah panas. Dan bangla mana-mana pun kalau dikasi t-shirt yang lawa memang akan nampak segak. Kasi baju aje. Kalau tak memang la macam bangla. Kalau tak percaya, tengok gambar bawah. Gambar belah kiri tu ialah Khairy tanpa baju, dan di sebelah kanan ialah seorang bangla yang diberi baju BN.

KhairyBangla

Jadi, tolonglah! Mamat KJ Bangla tu bukannya hensem. Kalau dia tak kawin dengan anak Jejaka Kepala Butoh Batas, dia cuma tolong isi minyak kereta aku aje sambil bertanya, “Cuci cermin? Mau?”

Kisah aku di supermarket? Tak ada. Cuma aku rasa aku nak cari Chicken In A Biskit kat Bangsar Village. Lama tak membalun benda tu.

No Responses Yet to "Satu Hari Di Supermarket…Atau Aku Sebenarnya Tak Tahu Nak Tulis Pasal Apa Jadi Aku Kasi Aje Topic Title"

Oi, I kata dia HOT when he was in a suit la, debating over something with Wan Azizah. Tu pun tengok dalam TV.

Tapi orang jahat selalu hot kan… hehehe….

Cipet la…you kata dia hot lagi I kasi you terung aje lain kali.

maybe ladies nampak dia hot sebab kat gambar kanan, bangla tu ada puting yg keras! sampai terserah kekerasan putingnya di sebalik tshirt BN tu! itu yg ‘turn-on’ ladies ladies kot. puting keras bangla

All women born in 1974, also studied in STF, also married to me don’t read this comment.

SD, Liverpool Babe ni sapa?
I love Liverpool and I love Babes, and I love shit (actually that’s a different story).
So nama Liverpool Babe ini amatlah intruiging.
Adakah bersaudara dengan Lilytheliverbird?

Cite ah beb. Wa nak tau.

By the way. I asked before which is colder, woman or fridge.
Now I ask, which is Hotter man or oven?

change the title lah liddat.. super short driver vs super hot eggplant in the oven

jazzy! HI FIVE! hehehee

Man is hotter. Because you’re more likely to get BURNED by a man.
Makes sense ke?

sd: dia memang smoking “HOT” okay in person with expensive suit yang dibeli dengan duit rampasan dari orang ramai,tu yang buat lagi “HOT” and i agree with jazzy. orang jahat memang “HOT”.

gombak4life: your shit story boleh buat buku beijilid jilid….and please next time, remember to flush.

K.jazz, i second you..”dia” memang HOT…hahaha…kalau lah dia tiada keburukkan,ala-ala jejaka terakhir Malaya gituh.hik.

Bangla pakai expensive suit memang nampak hot. Tak kira mana Bangla la.

Well, as long as he is still afraid of what I can do to him politically like what I did back in 2004, I’m happy to be superior.

SD, big mistake to mention that Bangla’s hotness.. Apparently ada lagi hot babes that agree with me… Hehehe…

Hmm..do you guys eat the same thing at anytime during school or something? That explains MPC, Leprechaun, Paqia, Kelantan-map-face etc etc.

Tsk! Tsk!

Bitch slap you one time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mau komen lagi, eventhough topic dah lapuk.

I think this HOT-ness is all a bit of psychology, physiology and biology all rolled into one.
As we all know, humans, are still at the basic level, animals, and hence all the survival-of-the-fitest, alpha-male, flower-power, female-is-more-deadlier-than-the-male and other catch-phrases or whatever phrases that we usually hear.

To put it simply, Men need something to elevate himself above other males. Some are stronger but stupid, some are brainer but weak, some think they are good singers but short, etc. Actually a lot simpler than it sounds, anything to get the girl. Whatever girl. Under extreme circumstances and without proper guidance and self-control, even young ones or old ones, which is totally wrong, but the truth is that this is the species called man.

Women on the other hand, a bit more complicated, despite the girl-power or I-don’t-need-a-man talk, at the very basic level, women look for the best man they can find to ensure the best offspring. OK maybe not all women. Broad shoulders, muscular, hairy, smelly, battled-scarred, etc…. all proof of a stong man and high possibility of similarly-strong or even stronger offspring.

So to cut to the chase, KJ is:-
Ugly = Strong, think Shrek vs David Archuleta
Smelly = Healthy, sweating all the time, exercising, lifting weights, etc…
Dark skinned (Bangla-like) = Not afraid of manual labor in the hot sun vs putera lilin
Big nipples = similar proportions for other protruding parts. nuff said girrrllss…..
Summary – Strong Man, at the subconscious level attracting women of all levels.

Agree or disagree?

Ugly = Strong, think Shrek vs David Archuleta

Gombak gua tak tau mana lu dapat equation ugly=strong ni…. Shrek???
Samy Vellu = Ugly = Strong ??

blog hopped from zaza’s > jazzmatazzed. why do u hate KJ that much? what has he done to you?

hmm… ok point taken….. I jarang fikir pasal Samy, so my mind didn’t immediately think of him la….. maybe you je ada some kind of Samy fantasy?

My train of though at that time was more along the lines of ugly = scarred face, battle hardened, something like that la…. vs pretty boy face… itu je….

Unless when you think of Samy and KJ, it is the same as when I think of Tyra and Halle, then you win lah…. hands down…..

Coy…I was in the UMNO Youth Malaysia ICT Bureau with him. I was involved with him since the Likas by-elections back in 2001 when he was just a special officer to Hishamuddin, and I helped strategise the elections there because he was having lots of problems. He was a fine man then. Then he got ambitious, and disregarded friends and had monkeys around him. Then he started controlling the whole management of this country thru the 4th Floor with the likes of Zaki Zahid, who was my sister’s classmate, and Kalimullah.

Th fall of BN in the last general elections can partly be attributed to him and his advisers.

I know him well enough to criticise him therefore I can say, unlike other hearsayers.

Gombak kalau aku layan kau punya gila ni… memang dah lama masuk Tampoi.

But you do make sense la about the ugly=battle hardened, scarfaced vs the pretty boy bit. So which category do you fall in la??? Pretty ugly???

well, it seems that everybody who’s talked to him once or twice claims that he/she knows him well enough. anyways, whatever you say, you’re entitled to your judgement. i still think he’s a fine man though. peace. 🙂

coy, could not agree with SD more.

Let me tell you my story. I never had any personal contacts with that bangla. But, he and his koncho konchonya (after this will be referred to as konch’s) telah sabotage two of myprojects, one projects in one of MOF depts that i personally was working on for 4 years. And just because the other party were willing to pay him and his konchs’ more and we cannot match that, hence we lost the project. The amount was RM10 milliion. The second projects was in another ministry that we have been working on for years, before tender keluar, he and his konchs’ sapu bersih project secara direct nego dengan penambahan harga of close than 100% from original price that was budgeted. After the letter of award, he and his konch’s managed to get upfront payment from the govt ( in which MOF has to approve this, whereby the person who approved this also is his konch that has office in the 11th floor in MOF). The upfront payment amounted to RM80M was given to his konch’s and out that RM30M was given to this Bangla’s bro in law. I know for a fact that this type of contract which falls under the supply project, under the guidelines of Govt procurement, no upfront money will be given to contractor. Upfront money will only be given to work project, i.e construction. His konch’s were well known to sell proposal that companies had written to the govt through thier car boot. They took the proposal simpan dalam kereta and call on whoever wants the proposal, they will bring it to the highest level (read jejaka kepala batas, who does not know anything) as long the party is willing to to pay a hefty sum of money to this group of konch’s . If you agree to pay, they will replace the letter head and the contract is yours. The original company that has written the proposal has put in thier effort and time writing the proposal, not to mention some of them has been in thier industries for years with a lot of experiences. But, all that are gone, when thier proposal were being lelong just like that.

So you tell me, ada ke orang suka kat dia?

Now the man is talking. I like that 😀

Coy…if you have any idea who I am then you wouldn’t be saying that I am one of those whom have talked to him once or twice.

SeaDemon, I know who you are. 🙂

Liverpool Babe, people like to use his name. It happens all the time. He didn’t do it. Some kutu2 UMNO did. I still think he’s a fine man. Too bad you think otherwise. Peace. 🙂

Coy…if you know who I am, then you should know that I am privy to a lot of information, and am in circles other people are not. Both his father-in-law and my father go back 4 decades, and I still have direct access to his father-in-law if I want to. I know the guy more than some people who are around him most of the time.

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