A Morning Without Reason, A Posting Without Structure

Nisaa got up at 7am, about half an hour ago, asking for a bottle of milk. Only she and I are in this room. Farhan and Alim are in Hana’s and Iqa’s room, while Fazira has gone back to Kedah to be with her mom this school holidays. I feel a bit guilty for not taking them anywhere for holidays this year, but it would be somewhat difficult to handle 6 kids single-handedly without a mother tagging along. I have experienced this last year when I (had no choice and) took them to Pulau Bidong with me – minus the maid. All of us slept in tents, weathered a full-blown storm one of the nights, that saw some other tents fly off in the middle of the night; my kids slept soundly. Must be because of the pleasant cool ambience created by the storm. But it isn’t easy being a father and mother at the same time, juggling the kids needs, and the fact that I had to do my job underwater all at the same time.

And here I am, at home, as both their father and mother, at 7.40am, still awake after getting up at 5.30am for that dreadful drive back home.

In two days time, I shall immerse myself in sea water again. It has been more than two months since I went on a recreational dive trip; and the last time I was at an exotic island location somewhere was diving because of work. I need to go back underwater to look at the fishes…just look at them whizzing by without any apparent thought of where to go and what-not. Just swim and eat.

I am normally cranky when I do not get to dive for more than a month; Yummy Baby got the brunt of that the other day. However, she was quick to soothe this troubled aquatic soul. For a long, long time I have never had anyone who could calm me down and make me smile. I may be biased, but it is true. It’s one of her ways to winning my heart – her warm and sincere smile, apart from being a great cook, that is. The way to a man’s heart (well, at least mine) is through his tummy; not by putting on porn movies on the DVD player (although complemented by good food would result in a back-breaking but wonderfully delicious night). I don’t know. I have yet to watch porn while eating. I can’t imagine having sambal tumis petai and white rice on my private part. That would be disastrously acrid in taste for some people. Coming back to the track, no one has ever showered me with so much love as the one I now receive from Yummy Baby; and the good thing is, she’s genuine and she is not married. So the danger of being talked into marriage and dumped some months later is very remote.

Another issue that is giving out acrid smoke is the increase in world crude oil price. The government is talking about reviewing the oil subsidy – a smoke-screen term for “let’s increase fuel price.” Can’t blame them. It is beyond their control. However, they should take steps in making people use NGV more, since we produce a lot of NGV. Then decree that ALL PETRONAS stations sell NGV.

The loss of the Pulau Batu Puteh is now hotly debated in the Parliament. Some opposition MPs have lodged a police report against the Attorney-General for his failure to win the case. Some cited the fact that now the livelihood of the Johor fishermen will be affected. Silly. I simply fail to comprehend their grasp of local history. The stupid fucks we elected should realise that no Johor fishermen have been allowed to fish in the areas of the Pulau Batu Puteh, Middle Rocks and the South Ledge for decades now. We did not lose Pulau Batu Puteh because we had a weak team; we lost it because someone, in 1953, screwed up in his letter-writing, and caused the nation to lose an island more than half a century later. The stupid fucks should also realise that we did not lose, WE WON SOMETHING. Singapore lost something to Malaysia. Now Johor fishermen can fish in the area of the Middle Rocks. Why complain?

Anyway, it is still too early in the morning for me to get upset. Alim is up and is watching ASTRO Ceria downstairs. Farhan is still asleep with his elder sisters, while Nisaa is still here curled up next to me.

I feel like eating Maggi now.

The perils of being both father and mother.