Sex Is Not The Answer! (Sex Is The Question, YES Is The Answer)

I’m stretching my back on this bed big time. Having had 5 orgasms and giving 13 in return in 2.5 hours is a feat for a 42-year old like me, especially so when just a few months ago I was still in the running for the top Vatican post. I should try stand-up (no pun intended) or give myself a hand (again, no pun intended) so I can stand erected (yet again, no pun intended), instead of just lying down.

And to think that in the Durex Survey for 2003, people have sex on average only 127 times a year. That is about 10.6 times a month, or 2.7 times a week. WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE???. 10.6 times is my average for two days of mindblowing sex.

In 2001, countries with the lowest frequency of sex in a year are Japan (37 times per year), Malaysia (62) and China (69 – again, no pun intended).

In 2003, the countries are Sweden (102), Malaysia (100), and Singapore (96). That goes to show that Singaporeans expose their balls lesser than Malaysians do – and that is why their BATU so PUTEH, and Malaysia rocks in the middle. Somehow I tend to believe that the ICJ ruling on Pulau Batu Puteh and Middle Rocks were based on Durex’s findings.

In 2008, a survey among Malaysians show that 44 percent of Malaysians actually achieve orgasms. Of this, 62 percent of Malaysian males almost always achieve orgasm during sex, while only 25 percent Malaysian women do. I can safely say that the MPC Jock (of MRSM Terendak, watper beb, btpe, and pancut cepat fame) became a respondent in the male survey, while Yummy Baby responded in the female survey. The MPC Jock should learn not to wear crotch-hugging jeans as it would restrict the flow of blood to the penis, advocating impotence. I, on the other hand, should learn from these men how is it that they can achieve orgasms easily. I would almost always wait for my partner to have more than 2 orgasms before allowing myself to climax. I don’t have to look hot like the MPC Jock; a face cannot screw a pussy. As the old folks from my kampung always say:

“Muka tak hensem takpe, Bang, janji sex gila-gila!”

Seriously, Malaysians should learn to screw each other more. The more mindblowing sex people have, the better the relationship is.

Ah! Maybe I can use that excuse when I see Yummy Baby‘s father. “Don’t worry, sir. I will never leave your daughter. She’s great in bed!”

Would that work as an icebreaker?