That sums it all there is about me.

Like I have mentioned in a previous posting, I am a simple man. I was brought up and taught to justify for every sen that I spend. When I was working at a GLC called Mana Ada Sistem, I traveled by Sri Jaya Bus No.47 to get to and from work. I did not get my first car until I was 26 years old (hence its plate number 26), although I owned a Kawasaki Ninja zX1100 for a while prior to that. I prefer mamak joints to expensive places, preferring an array of air sirap in containers to the likes of wine buffets. My most expensive suit is by Emernegildo Zegna, complete with its long-sleeved shirt, cufflinks and tie, and second is an overcoat from Zara. Even then it was for the trips to Geneva. Otherwise you will never see me buy anything for myself except scuba t-shirts and Garson tracks from either Carrefour or Giant…with the exception of a nice shirt from British India that I wore once but gave away that I bought during my retail therapy period. All my other suits are made by this tailor in Section 18 Shah Alam who gives me great discounts, or, it is from Myers on Sukhumvit who makes 2 suits with silk long-sleeved shirts and silk ties for only RM700 in 24 hours.

I can be very gentlemanly but can be coarse and rude most of the time. I do not pretend; so if I do not like something, I will say it out loud, or I will keep quiet but you’ll be able to read it from my face or my body language. I am highly critical, temperamental, sharp-tongued, short-fused; but I can also be the most patient, angel-like patient, compassionate, caring.

When I love, I love hard; similarly when I fall, I fall hard. Very hard.

If you tell me you have faced hard times before, I will ask you if you have ever survived only on a bottle of milk a day for more than a month? Or have you shared half a packet of Maggi with your housemate each day? Or have you actually sat on the floor of a Tube station buskering, then scour the floor for dropped coins? If you haven’t, then don’t talk to me about hard life. I have lost more than 15 kilos that way.

I went through a difficult childhood, a bad one, that I do not ever want any of my children to go through the same thing especially when they are growing up. I try to be there for them as much as I can, but I will spank them if they go out of line, but I will explain their mistakes.

The person I loved jilted me, causing me to not believe in love anymore for more than 20 years. How would you react if you were to open the apartment door and find your girl/boy friend in bed with someone else? Come to think of it, I was jilted twice, if you go according to the actual meaning of jilt. The other one was late last year when I was being held as an emotional buffer, given false hopes, being made to hang in silence for weeks, only to be dumped on a trip that we went to together – and she cannot comprehend why was I so bitter about it. The rest I met in between were self-centered, selfish, fleecing, obnoxious, you name it, they are it – with the exception of one or two.

A person who emulates some of my values (positive or negative depends on which side of the gender fence you are on) is Kimi. Here is the YM transmission between he and I just now:

Kimi: biasa ni..jalan laju di pavillion (refering to a comment Yummy Baby made on one of my previous postings
Kimi: so funny
SeaDemon: hhahaha
Kimi: kalau mintak singgah..kata padanya..”ini sume ‘dunia'”
SeaDemon: hhahahahahaha
SeaDemon: bagus excuse tu…biasa gunakan?
Kimi: selectively…
Kimi: selalunya pada mid-month
Kimi: ini adalah ‘pattern-breaker’ paling efektif
SeaDemon: hhahahhaa…betul
Kimi: no more arguement lepas tu..sbb dah takde bullet yg boleh digunakan lagi
Kimi: itu adalah ‘arash’ segala alasan

Sarcasm infused reframe.

You can call me a cheap bastard, I don’t care. As long as I do not screw my ex-wife. That differentiates me between being a human, and being a beast. Other than that, I live my life and finance it prudently. I make a bad businessman because I don’t know how to bribe people. I don’t even haggle over prices…I just ask them how much are they asking for it.

One thing I was taught when I was young: that to be a man I must be equally comfortable walking with kings, and to eat on the floor eating with paupers. When I was head of the welfare bureau of my political division, some members wanted to join. So I took them on an “interview” session – to visit the squatter area and eat and drink with them. We entered this house and the head of the house was so proud that I visited his family, asked his wife to make us Milo with some kuih. The kuih was just a simple Tepung Talam but the place was so infested with houseflies, that you cannot sip your Milo without hitting the flies with your mouth. You can find ants inside the Milo itself. The hopefuls refused to touch anything, but my committee members and I finished up the kuih and Milo. You can always pay to de-worm yourself because you have the money, but you should never hurt the feelings of your hosts, who had to fork out the day’s savings just to show you their hospitality.

And when I love, I give my all – as long as she is happy, I am fine. But as long as I do not have to pretend about my feelings. And you can ask Yummy Baby if she feels that I am slacking anywhere.