“Holy Crap” would be a normal reaction to parents, especially the mother, of a bachelor son, knowing that the latter is emotionally involved with a divorced woman. Verbal comments like “I don’t want my son to marry a divorcee” and/or “She won’t be good for you” would be among the other reactions, barring other violent ones. Other non-sympathetic comments would come from “friends” saying, “Oh, she’s a divorcee. I wonder what went wrong?“, or, “I’m sure she was behaving like a slut when she was still married to him“, accompanied by the smile as the divored woman walk past by. The typical man will go for a divorced woman thinking, “It must have been a while since she’s had a good one in bed” or, “I should try her; I am sure she’s had some good training when she was married” and other unkind thoughts of the divorced woman. Some would even go a step further by establishing contact with the divorced woman saying, “If you need any physical thing, you can always call me.”
What is so wrong with being divorced? What is SO wrong with being a divorced woman? She will get NO sympathy from her family most of the time, the mother would look at her cynically, or pass remarks like, “You don’t know how to look after your husband,” so on and so forth. The last remark is not always wrong, as yours truly have previously experienced – in a painful manner, but to apply this as a general statement on every single divorced woman, is morally wrong.
First and foremost, no matter how handsome and good, or beautiful and sexy a couple maybe, only the ex-husband and ex-wife would know how each other would look like when they wake up in the morning. Meaning, we can only guess what is happening in a marriage, or see only the good side of the marriage, but only the couple would know how bad it really is. And to have other women criticising, or gossipping, or making fun or divorced women, is totally un-on. As my favourite saying goes, “Tak kena batang hidung sendiri sedaplah gelakkan sakit orang lain!” (You can only laugh at the misery of others because it has yet to hit you on the nose).
There is nothing wrong with being divorced. It is a better step than to wallow in an abusive marriage. It is better than having the children crying all the time whenever the parents shout or hit each other. It is the best way out, yet, it is not the best way out. But it had to be done, to save the sanity of one’s mind, and that of the children. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) married Siti Khadijah, a divorcee many years his senior, and they lived happily in their lifetime together.
We see divorced women having to fend for themselves, and having to earn a living so they can feed their children and themsleves. The man would normally leave the children in the hands of the ex-wife, and disappear without giving a single cent. Worse still, if they don’t give a single cent, but start criticising the way the ex-wife brings up the children. Some of these women, being uneducated, would have to resort to entertaining men in various ways, to earn a decent living.
Along the path of life, I have met many. From friends, to women who walk the streets for money. I have spoken to all, and I respect them all, no matter their choice to earn a living. I look at them no different than I would look at a pious woman. I have no right to discriminate them, nor do I have the right to be judgmental towards them. I used to tell myself that if God wills me to marry a prostitute, I would gladly do so if she has a heart of gold. And I am pretty sure many are. They are just victims of circumstances.
My Baby is a divorcee, but not once have I ever looked at her as one. I have always thought of her as a single mother of three; strong-willed, dedicated mother, loving person. Otherwise she wouldn’t have survived a 7-year marriage being the sole breadwinner feeding a lazy and wimpy monkey. And her experience of the previous marriage, coupled with other lessons of life, has made me fall for her, head over heels. She would be perfect for me, and for my children, as opposed to having a young single lady who would seek my undivided attention.
And for you men who look at divorced women as sex objects, do look into your pants again and ask if your dick is big enough for you to brag about.