I wrote this note on Hari Raya itself. I was looking at Wifey sleeping when I wrote this in my Facebook profile:
Wifey’s asleep next to me right now. It has been a long night for her and an early morning today. Apart from those facts, I believe the real reason for her sleeping right now is the amount of food-whacking she’s done today – and it’s only 3pm.
My daughter Hana is now watching some noisy Akademi Fantasia concert on TV. I wish I could sleep but so many things are running through my mind right now…sweet things.
Last night, Wifey and I, my daughter Hana, Wifey’s brothers Uda and Shah, spent some time at the Old Town White Coffee. It was a good session because we had fun. This Hari Raya is definitely better than it was last year, despite the fact that I still cannot spend this auspicious day with my own siblings and parents. I try to make do with what I have around me and have fun…or at least try. We spoke to Wifey’s sister, Zaza, who is now in Japan, and that was great.
Yes, I do feel sad not being able to be with my parents and siblings. Blood runs thicker than water does not really hold well and true in my family apparently. Couple that with the fact that my daughters Fazira and Nisaa, and my only son, Farhan, are not able to be with me again this year, adds to that sadness.
But looking at how serene Wifey looks when she’s asleep right now, makes me realise that despite the downside of life, there is still that beautiful part of it. And in this short and colourful life, everything beautiful, no matter how small or insignificant, is sweet…and adds more colours to life’s canvas that was pastel in colour or greyscale.
For those able to return to their respective kampungs and still be able to laugh, help prepare for Hari Raya, with their parents, parent, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc., be thankful of that and cherish that moment. I can only tell you how awful it feels when you are unable to, not because you don’t want to, but you are not welcomed into your own home, despite the attempts you have done to bridge that chasm that is dividing you and your family. I can go on telling you the countless nights that I shed tears thinking of my family, and more so during the last days of Ramadhan, and how Wifey’s always there to hold me even though there is nothing much that she can do.
And that makes two years now.
Count your blessings, people.
I am lucky for the support I receive from my own children, especially my eldest, Hana, who is always with me. I am lucky for the support I get from friends, especially those whom have been with me since the beginning of the year – Spena, Gemgem, Elysha,Rina, Ayu, Fin, Dalina, Renek, Syahmi, Komar, Aiz, Din, Hana…who are always there from early evening till early morning, and friends I got to know through them. My great diver friends, and friends whom I have known for almost 4 decades, as well as the ones I have made along the way who are here on Facebook, and those who aren’t, and friends I have made here on Facebook who have dropped the occassional messages of support. I love you all.
And I am most lucky to have Wifey, whom I met as a single-mother with three kids. A great woman, multitalented, fun-filled, loving, caring, compassionate, sweet, temperamental at times. A woman whose love for me knows no boundaries.
And on this auspicious day, I had a sweet morning as I sleep when I heard these very words:
Selamat Hari Raya, Sayang!
Life can only get better.
My friends, forgive me as the list of names for me to mention would be too long. I love you all nevertheless.