What The Hell!!!

I must have fried half my brain today. Yesterday was a long day for me: three meetings, all outside the Klang Valley.

So what am I going to rant about today? I am not going to write about the recent yoga thing as some would like me to, but I only have one thing to add: a fatwa is just a collective finding made by a group of supposedly-learned people. Therefore, a fatwa is NOT a divine decree, God did not make it. In the end, your sins and good deeds are for God Himself to judge; not individuals. For those who say it is unIslamic to go against a fatwa, they can put their head on my arse and smell fart-wa.

Now, why has half my brain fry?

I spent the whole day yesterday listening to technical specifications, and talking about it. Read on some technical specifications and stored them inside my head in less than 5 given minutes so I could go negotiate during those three meetings. I mean, I could have brought along with me a notebook or some write-ups, memory-joggers if you like, but I must not only be seen to know what I was to talk about, but to actually know what was being talked about. The other members of the meetings have all had a 3-year head-start. I’ve only been at this for 2 weeks now. Apart from that, one CEO whose company we have a joint-venture agreement decided to lay down everything on the table on the first meeting and say, “Hey, come screw my company! It’s a free-for-all fuck!”

He’s a lawyer by training; sits as an independent director (read: proxy) in several companies; is closely-linked to a certain member of a certain royal family household that he was awarded an award one step short of being another Dato’ like M. Daud Kilau and Siti Nurhaliza – but knows nuts in business dealings, what to say and when to shut up, and so on. He was blabbing all, baring us all, that sarcastic interjections by his partner, my CEO and I, failed to stop him from continuing with his nonsense. In the end, it was like the JV has no more dignity.

On the way back I was like, “WTF is wrong with this guy and which planet is he from? Which university did he go to? Did he graduate from a certain boarding school in the second southernmost state on the west coast of the peninsular?”

I cannot believe that he is a lawyer. Has his own advocates and solicitors firm. I’m sure he has never had a corporate client because all the contracts he would have written for them would have favoured the other party more than his clients.

Plain idiot!

This morning, as a result of the first meeting, I was to furnish the other party with some technical specifications so the other party could help us in looking for what we are looking for (duh, what else?). And I had to go through the contract’s addendum – required specifications for what is required. And this addendum, I’m pretty sure, was written by a malay engineer who studied overseas but never bothered to learn how to communicate in English (weekend lunches at other malay students’ house), so much so that I had to rewrite the whole jing-bang! He must be a total idiot who thinks highly of the standard of his English. And his boss must be an even worse idiot, who erroneously believe his standard of English is far better than that of his subordinate, for allowing such a document with grammatical errors to go through.

As a result, I had to rewrite the whole 11 pages again so English-speaking people would be able to understand the requirements.

Just as I thought my burden had lighten, this idiot of a lawyer who was appointed the CEO of the company that has a JV-agreement with us, wrote me an e-mail asking me to follow-up with the first party we had meeting with. Let me just copy what had transpired via e-mail:

Idiot: “Pls dont 4get flw up with company-X”

Me: “Have forwarded requirements to company-X”

Idiot: “not yet, i leave it to you to coordinate”

Me: “What I meant was, I have followed up by sending the required specs to them this morning”

Idiot: “but, we must be careful not to reveal our secret info to them, they might use our info to bypass us, just be careful”

At this juncture, I felt like calling him up and scream profanities at him. However, I chose to ignore this e-mail but wrote to my CEO the following:

Me: “I thought it was agreed upon by all parties that we furnish company-X with the technical specifications so they can assist us in looking for the assets we require. Maybe his wife didn’t let him screw her last night”

Yes, I actually wrote that.

My CEO came over to my place later and told me that, yes, this idiot does have a problem with his wife.

A brief description of this guy: He is short that I would call him stumpy, thinks he is handsome and hot (when he is not and short), wears an expensive full-faced racing helmet but rides on what the Malaysians call cub-chai (after the name Honda Cub) that kampung folks ride to go to the paddy fields. He also likes to wear his collar high and not folded, and frequents sleazy karaoke joints.

Sounds like some idiot with an inferiority complex that I know of because he has almost similar habits.