I just want to see how different I look through the years…so here we go:
This is me at 16, then 26, then 40 years old.
And look at this guy below…David Arumugam of Alleycats. He is what I call “Dulu, Kini dan Selamanya” (Then, Now and Forever).
Early Start
Do you know that there are millions of sperm cells in one drop of semen? Do you also know that sperm cells can survive in a woman’s cervical mucus for 168 hours? Sperm also does not survive in water as water is hypotonic and would cause sperm cells to swell and disintegrate? Do you know that it is possible for each male to ejaculate at least 9 times in 24 hours?
Look at the boy above again. With that early start, we’re lucky bedsheets, toilet bowls and tissue papers cannot conceive…otherwise we’d all be starving due to over-population now.
Somebody had better send me back to the sea to dive. I’m starting to write non-sensical stuff here.
Where In The World Have I Been?
Where have I been in my 40 years in life other than Malaysia?
Singapore
Thailand – Sadao, Padang Besar, Yala, Narathiwat, Pattani, Songkhla, Hat Yai, Satun, Langu, Chalung, Pakbara, Koh Lipe, Koh Adang, Phuket, Cha-Am, Hua Hin, Krungthep Mahanakorn, Pattaya, Samu Prakarn, Khon Kaen, Udon Thani, Aranyaprathet, Phayao, Chaiyaphum, Chiangmai, Chiangrai, Doi Inthanon.
Indonesia – Medan, Rupat, Dumai, Bengkalis, Bali, Bandung, Tanjung Priok, Jakarta.
Philippines – Manila, Clark, Angeles.
Cambodia – Phnom Penh, Battambang, Kampong Cham, Pouthisat, Sisophon.
Myanmar – Yangon, Ta-kaw.
China – Hong Kong SAR.
Korea -Seoul.
Japan – Okinawa.
USA – O’ahu, San Francisco, Oakland, Sacramento, Chico, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Henderson, Oklahoma City, Tulsa, St Louis, Miami, Orlando, New York.
UK – London, Brighton, Southampton, Bletchley, Milton Keynes, Buckingham, Luton, Amersham, Hemel Hampstead, Tring, Winslow, Watford, Steeple Claydon, Aylesbury, Northampton, Bedford, Oxford, Birmingham, Manchester, York, Lake District (Windemere), Reading, Eton, Windsor, Silverstone, Cambridge, Bournemouth, Dorchester, Poole, Haywards Heath, Dorset, Weymouth.
Netherlands – Amsterdam.
Germany – Frankfurt.
France – Paris, Ferney-Voltaire.
Russia – Moskva, Zhukovsky, Sheremetyevo, Chekov, Volosovo, Khatanga, Sredney.
The North Pole.
Switzerland – Zurich, Geneve.
Turkey – Istanbul.
Croatia – Split.
Saudi Arabia – Makkatul Mukarramah, Madinatul Munawwarah, Jiddah.
United Arab Emirates – Dubai.
Somalia – Mogadishu.
South Africa – Kaap Stadt, Gauteng.
Pakistan – Karachi.
India – Mumbai, Chennai.
Sri Lanka – Colombo.
All that, plus minus 3-4.
Cigarette Party – L’acte final
From the losers of the FIFA World Cup 2006 bet, to the winner…or can we call him “The Master-better“?
The Story of My Friend
My good friend, Faizal Sanusi, has recently been discharged from hospital due to hypertension. It was his second hospitalisation in two months, the first being minor stroke. He’s only 38 this year.
Many would attribute his health deterioration to the uncertainties at his current workplace, having to pay for his previous medical bills, when the expatriates at his workplace got better treatement (hey, his Managing Director went to the hospital to foot the bill for this expatriate’s child’s treatment). And Faizal, who has been with that company even before it had its own computers, is now being treated like dirt.
If you ask me, knowing Faizal, he probably had hypertension due to the employer’s ability to actually pay him his salary. That must have really shocked him!
Faizal is a very fit person. Muscular…his shoulders are as stiff as an ox’s. He claims they are stiff because of work-related stress, I beg to differ. He has a peculiar way of keeping fit. As the national Deputy Head of the Youth Wing of the Parti Keadilan Rakyat, he often gets into scuffles with the Royal Malaysian Police’s Federal Reserve Unit (FRU). Everytime he is given a permit to demonstrate by the relevant OCPDs, he’d decline them because he loves it when the FRU personnel charge him and his political colleagues. That is the only way he actually gets to sprint, do middle-distance running, seasons his body to the batons, his eyes to the smoke gas etc. Now you know why he is tough. All that adrenaline rush helps him shed off his bad cholesterol and so on.
So, the only thing that could have brought him down was the shock of actually receiving money from his employers. Being an activist and a politician, he is used to working for free.
Anyway, the above are part of the jokes that our mutual friends like Azlan Chao, Besut Stud, the former SAPURA-soon-to-be-SAPURA again guy, Lifetime PAS Member, the Shaklee Robot, and I, have been making about this friend of ours.
Politics aside, Faizal is a good friend to have and you know that he would go out of his way to help his friends, me included. Faizal is an all-weather friend. And I hope his employers remember the years this good friend of mine has put in, the sacrifices that he and his family made for the company, and foot his medical bills. Try behave like human beings for once.
Get well soon, bro. I cannot lose a good friend like you. So try your best to outlive me.
Cigarette Party – Partie Finale
It’s been a good one month. I supported the underdogs like Cote d’Ivoire, Iran, Ghana and Portugal. In this morning’s final, I supported Italy. France was equally good, except for that headbutt incident by Zainuddin Zahidin. I like the Portuguese players most..Maniche, Cristiano Ronaldo, Simao, Deco…for their footworks, and of course, the virtually unbeatable goalkeeper, Ricardo.
In the earlier rounds, even South Korea was in. This is a country whose football team we used to beat the crap out of back in the 70s. See where they are now. And see what circus our football scene has metamorphosised into. It isn’t that the South Koreans have become stronger, but it is us, Malaysians, who have become weaker.
To my friend Azli Suhairi, whom I might be seeing later today, enjoy your cigarettes. You’ve been choosing the correct teams to bet on.
To the rest, support NS Naza.
Haha!
Hey, I’m 40
It’s the 13th Lunar day.
I turned 40 an hour ago.
40 days before I was born, my elder sister Juliana passed away.
When I was 2, I was a sick child, diagnosed with having Acute Glomerulonephritis, Atopic Eczema, and has Thallassemia Hb A&E.
When I was 3, my mother hid me underneath the bed during the May 13th tragedy.
When I was 4, I could draw the map of the world.
When I was 5, I was sent to a chinese kindergarten.
When I was 7, I started elementary school.
When I was 8, I “lost” my parents to the government and the people.
When I was 9, I felt so lost and lonely.
When I was 11, my great-grandmother passed away.
When I was 13, I went to college.
When I was 14, I went round the world.
When I was 15, I broke my wrist playing rugby.
When I was 16, I represented college and state for swimming and water-polo. I did my first scuba dive. I met my soulmate.
When I was 17, I went off to England for my tertiary education. My paternal grandmother passed away.
When I was 21, I joined Malaysia Airlines first, then the Royal Malaysian Air Force.
When I was 23, I did my first parachute jump.
When I was 25, I got married for the first time.
When I was 26, I got my first car that I use until now. My daughter, Noor Farhanah, was born.
When I was 29, I represented the Malaysian team in the Benson & Hedges Golden Dreams Parachuting Competition. Later I busted an ankle skydiving. I then did a stunt for the movie Lurah Dendam. I was conferred the Kesatria Angkatan Tentera by the 10th Yang DiPertuan Agong. My daughter, Noor Fazira, was born.
When I was 30, I left the Air Force. My marriage fell apart.
When I was 31, I represented Malaysia in the International Parachuting Competition in Cha-Am, Thailand.
When I was 32, I was part of the team that parachuted down to the North Pole on April 21st, 1998. Both my maternal grandparents passed away 6 months apart. I remarried. I performed my Umrah. I was conferred the Ahli Mangku Negara by the 10th Yang DiPertuan Agong.
When I was 33, I became the first Malaysian to perform a BASE jump off the KL Tower. I performed my Umrah again.
When I was 35, I performed my Haj. I organised the first Malaysian group to windsurf across the Strait of Malacca to Sumatera, Indonesia. I did my last record to jet-ski for 1000 kilometers non-stop in 21 hours 11 minutes and 42 seconds.
When I was 36, my second marriage fell apart. I remarried later. My son, Mohamad Amirul Farhan, was born.
When I was 39, my daughter, Noorunnisaa, was born. I became an Open Water Diver, Advanced Open Water Diver, Master Scuba Diver, Divemaster and Deco Diver.
I am now 40.
Dr M, Pak Lah & Captain Rahmat – Part Deux
Refer to Dr M, Pak Lah & Captain Rahmat – 7th July 2006
Well, well, well. Someone definitely does not want me to speak. Either he’s afraid of losing his post, or does not want to know certain things, or does not want others to know certain things, or is afraid of knowing certain things. I received this text message from the Division’s Secretary at 00:27:24 8th July 2006. It said:
Makluman, peresmi persidangan Cwn. Kelana Jaya Baru (Sdr. Jantan) pada 15/7/06 ditukar kpd. Tuan Hj. Malik harap maaf. Tk muda
That’s okay. I am not a YES-MAN, never have been, never will be. I have my own set of backbone, and a pair of balls. I also have a gift that most politicians do not have: A brain that you can actually use. I don’t give a sh*t for those whom have no balls and join the party just to become rich.
I remember a quote by President Harry S Truman: “You can’t get rich in politics unless you’re a crook.â€
I’m not rich. I can’t say the same for some others. In politics, I’ve always held to something Janis Joplin once said, “Don’t compromise yourself. It’s all you’ve got.”
As long as certain quarters in the party regard the party as their personal belonging, I shall just sit and watch the party rot.
I’m better off diving.
Hey! Fishermen Are Net Savvy Too! – Part Deux
I wrote an E-mail to the Editor, The Star newspaper on the matter.
Educate The Fishermen
Dear Editor,
While I applaud the positive step taken by the Tanjung Dawai Fishermen Association to use Information Technology to auction off their catch (‘Fish Now Sold via the Net’ – The Star, Friday, July 7 2006), I am horrified by the picture of the dead juvenile Hammerhead Sharks. It seems that while the fishermen are into Information Technology, they know very little about sharks conservation.
As a scuba diver, I spend hundreds of Ringgits just to be able to see at least one of these magnificent creatures. It breaks my heart to see almost a dozen of them in the clutches of the fish supplier, knowing that hundreds more are caught daily in our waters. This species is considered to be “Near Threatened” by the World Conservation Union (IUCN), a global union of states, governmental agencies, and non-governmental organizations in a partnership that assesses the conservation status of species. As a matter of fact, just over a week ago at the Pasir Penambang market in Kuala Selangor, I saw several juvenile Black-tip Reef Sharks being sold for RM10 per kg, and a Zebra Shark for RM14 per kg. Save for the dive I did in the salt water tank of the Aquaria KLCC, I have never seen a live Zebra Shark swimming before. Most sharks are viviparous and have long gestation period, making their cycle of reproduction slow, and mostly give birth to small litters. Simple mental arithmetic will tell you how soon will the numbers reach negative value.
Sharks are normally taken by longlines, gillnets and as bycatch in driftnet fisheries. The Fisheries Department should educate the fishing community to release the ones landed that are still alive. The relevant authorities and non-governmental organisations, too, should educate the general public on the importance of sharks. Sharks fins are tasteless and is akin to eating one’s fingernails boiled in broth.
I cannot stress more how sharks play a very important role in our marine eco-system; preying on injured and sick animals in order to ensure the fitter ones survive. When fish survive in abundance, we human beings have more to eat.
Hey, Fishermen Are Net Savvy Too!
In trying to show how Net savvy fishermen are, today’s The Star ran a story on how fishermen in Kuala Kedah now buy fish over the Net.
How high-tech…but still low on awareness mentality.
SeaDemon Says 
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