Day: April 26, 2007

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Azlan Chao – Pas De Mission Trop Dure

This is a letter I wrote as a comment to Azlan Chao‘s posting in his blog on his resignation from the Nation’s Most Favoured Multinational Company.

26th April 2007

Mr. Chao, Azlan
Nation’s Most Favoured Multinational Company
47400 Somewhere in PJ

Dear Mr Chao,

This is to confirm our conditional offer of membership to you for a permanent full-time alumni member in the Sports Club, EWL Alumni effective Sunday, 29th April 2007. You will be eligible for reallocation of your position to the permanent level following actual self-eviction from EWL.

This is a conditional offer of membership. Civil Service Rule 1-7 requires that all persons who are not currently EWL employees submit to and pass a pre-employment humour test prior to their actual appointment to the classified service to ensure that they still maintain some sense of humour and that all is not lost after working so long in a boring and self-incriminating organization. Enclosed is a Custody and Control Form that you need to take with you to a test site where you will be required to provide a stool sample for the test; included is a listing of approved test sites in this area. You will be required to have picture identification when you go for testing. An appointment is not necessary, however, you must be tested within 24 hours of receipt of this letter or this conditional offer of membership is withdrawn. We will be in contact with you when we have received the results of the test, which normally is in three to five days. If you test negative, refuse to be tested, interfere with the testing procedure, or tamper with a test sample, this conditional offer of membership is withdrawn.

If the result of the pre-employment humour test is positive, you will be expected to report to the Personnel Office located at Teknologi Park Malaysia at 9.00am on 4th May 2007. At the time of hire we will need to make a copy of your driver’s license and ING card. Enclosed please find insurance and beneficiary designation forms that you may prefer to complete prior to your start date and bring with you on May 4th. If you have any questions about the forms or coverage, just bring the forms with you and we will assist you in completing them during your orientation. Documentation for those persons you will have on your insurance contract must be provided as indicated on the enclosed information sheet.

Enclosed please find a copy of the Membership Handbook so that you may have an opportunity to review it prior to your hire date.

We wish to welcome you to our alumni list and look forward to seeing you on May 4th 2007. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at 03-76609787.

Sincerely,

Stupid Boy Who Likes To Sneak Into Other People’s Office

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Race…Race…Race – Part 2

Last night was the second night I had to do a political speech. This time it was at Jaya Setia, a grey area. Turnout was good, and as usual I allowed Q&A’s…I could see the UMNO Youth members cringe when I allowed that to happen. I noted all their complaints, no one seemed interested in national issues: they were more concerned about their village roads, amenities, drainage etc. After that, I called the respective officers to come and meet the people and listen to their grouses.

So today, several of those complainants had had visitors from the various agencies to rectify the matter. I seem to act faster than the local assemblyman and the mainstream politicians. I know some people will not be happy.

Anyway, paid a visit to my division’s operations center and lots of sour faces there…especially from those who probably thought I was dead. But many supporters came to greet me, especially from the Wanita and Youth movements.

After that, the usual race…this time I was in my Naza Ria. Thundered down the road (like driving a tank – noted one Youth member) at 170km/h. I did not hammer the pedal this time as both my rear tyres have lost traction and thread. Made a stop at Sungai Buloh to buy a burger, then straight to Bangsar (Telawi) for a quick date.

I finally reached home at 3am.

I now feel tired, and am waiting for 4.30pm to celebrate Daddy In The City a.k.a Lan Jiao‘s imminent resignation from the nation’s most favoured multinational company.

The race for the title of “The Last Local Employee Standing” is getting hotter now…hah!