Month: August 2007

Shame on you!

For picking a fight with my daughters.
For accusing them of things without first checking.
For differentiating between them and their step-siblings.
For taking them for granted.
For ill-treating them.
For shaming their father in front of them.
For causing trouble to your husband in the name of self-satisfaction.
For not being there when your husband was ill.
For praying to God when you blaspheme.
For casting black magic spells on your husband.
For severing the ties between your husband and his family.
For shaming your husband.
For causing hurt to your husband, physically and emotionally.
For KILLING your husband slowly.

They say,

God cannot forgive the sins committed between human beings.
The Prophet is forgiving.

I,

Am a mere human being.
I am neither god.
Nor am I forgiving.

So,

No matter how many times you pray in a day.
Heaven for you moves farther away.
You may pray for riches and for being well.
I can only guarantee you a place in hell.

Shame on you!

I remember a few years back when I wanted to look for an “office” address because I was freelancing as I do now but in another industry.

I went to Plaza Damansara and was met by this GQ hair Zara-clothed Ah Beng who introduced himself as “Romanio.” Took me up to this office and showed me around. He went something like:

“For the de-lurrx packajhe we will give you one phone ex-hertension, tree e-mail addreth, and tree power pointth in your purrsonal concubine.”

My eyes went wide. For RM600 per month I get my own personal concubine.

Then he went on: “But-ter, at warn o-cock unteeul two o-cock the err-cons will off so you may want to bring a bock-fence.”

So I finally got to see my beautiful personal concubine as depicted in the image above. I cracked my head trying to figure out what on earth is a bock-fence. Coming from the security industry, I know nothing of this bock-fence.

Then I saw one:

As we all know, Icecool made MAJOR today, and I just sent MAJOR CAPTAIN CORPORAL CHOY an SMS asking him not to beat the aeroplane (in Cantonese please), because only God can now turn his Ginseng into a Tongkat Ali.

Anyway, below, please find pics as an update on them:

CHOY’S GINSENG SESSION

As you know, Choy has aneurysm, a complication that can cut one’s life short (hey, hypertension causes aneurysm too, Choy. Maybe I should do a CT Scan as well…can ah Bakawali?).

This is Choy trying to show that he has been resting when actually he had just gotten back from Starbucks

I didn’t know hospitals serve Starbucks stuff…hm…naughty boy, Choy

This enlarged version is to show that sign above your head, Choy. CRIB means COMPLETE REST IN BED! And you were still loggingin to update your blog from Starbucks

Nurse giving Choy a handjob

Please note that Choy has since been discharged while SeaDemon’s hypertension got worse.

ICECOOL

From Captain Cabuk to Major Idle. Absent without on leave and still get promoted.

See how differently he laughs also. Now “I the very big oledi” laugh. In uniform he looks very different to the gigolo we always see at Concorde KL

What is this??? Captain to Major and only KFC? I thought only Corporals do this when they get promoted? And you guys have been stealing the mess chinaware is it?

Whatever it is, you give to Countloon, he will whack all. Like me. I don’t eat only 4 things. Rocks, Soap, Wood, Iron..oh, and locomotives.

Congratulations, Mejar Anthony Yeap Hock Chai.

That voodoo that you do
the shimmy lights through you
and no one can voodoo the voodoo
you do
do to me

Yesterday, a friend and her husband told me that there is a voodoo doll made for me.

It is something I already know. Two months ago when I paid a visit to an elder man for a massage, he told me the same. This man, as well as my friend and her husband, wonder how it is that I can still walk around and am not down or dead yet.

In the words of my Guru:

Before this river
Becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor
Oh baby I reconsider
My foolish notion
Well I need someone to hold me
But I’ll wait for something more

Yes I’ve gotta have faith…

Which Guru? This one:

I got serious shock when I read the online version of today’s The Star with a section that says FEI KEI DUO RISE ABOVE THE REST.

I was saying to myself, “I hope these idiots are not cantonese-speakers.”

Quote from The Star:

Students Tan Kae Mern and Lim Sheng Feixiang, both 18, walked away with RM5,000 when they topped the R.AGE My 2 Sen Worth financial management competition here yesterday.

Now. If they are the Fei Kei team, I am sure the cantonese-speaking opponents would say to themselves, “Come let’s beat the Fei Kei team.”

Now, translate that into cantonese and you get….??