Yeah…we’re running into the final phase of the month of Ramadhan, and I can tell you my KBI (Key Boredom Index) hit an all-time high over the weekend. If it was the Doomsday Clock, it would have shown one minute to midnight.
So what is a Laylat-al-Qadr (spelt in Malaysia as Lailatul Qadar)?
It is to be the night of nights, where miracles and blessings come in abundance to those who spend their final 10 nights of Ramadhan searching for His grace.
I seriously cannot comprehend why wouldn’t Muslims do the same every night. Beats the crap out of my brain thinking about it.
Anyway, I remember back in 1984, I went down to Victoria Station…no! Not the one at Medan Damansara or Taipan USJ, but the one in London, waiting for my former classmate, Arif, to arrive from Belgium. It was the fasting month smack bang in June. Yes, summer. So we would commence fasting at 2 in the morning and break fast at 10.30pm.
Having missed our train at Euston, with the next one at around 10pm, we decided to kill time by going to the Picadilly Circus area to buy Lamb Kebab for breaking fast at my favourite Kebab joint. Having done that, we walked around Regent Street, and were soon quickly bored. Then we walked towards Soho and soon found ourselves entering a peep show joint. At first I was hesitant. Then Arif pointed out that in search of the Laylat-al-Qadr, one must be bold enough to go to where it is most unexpected. I concured and soon we were changing notes into pennies for the slot machine. There was nothing but a tired looking granny trying to look as energetic and appealing as she was some 40 years ago. Nothing must have been more revolting than the sight of a granny fingering herself when it’s drier than the Sahara desert, and manhandling what looked like a soggy roti canai dough sticking on her chest. I mean, there was no elasticity in the thing. After squeezing her tit, it stayed in exactly how it was when it was being squeezed long after she had taken her hand off.
As for her fingering herself and letting out granny moans, I should have donated her a bottle of engine lubricant to make it look more interesting. I could have put my whole leg in it without her noticing.
But all in the spirit of Laylat-al-Qadr.
Two years prior to that, back in Henry Gurney school, my friends and I (yeah, you know who you are…you read this, don’t you?) would seek Laylat-al-Qadr by channeling our frustrations towards a creature most Muslims hate: the house lizard.
We would kill these creatures by the dozen almost each night. At the end of our hunt, we would collect our victims and sweep them under the Headmaster’s office’s door. Then we would gloat over our success in exterminating the creature that almost cost the life of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and would discuss how many naked angels would we each want as companions in Paradise.
23 years down the road, I am still wondering what is the rationale behind killing thousands if not millions of God’s creatures just because one of them screwed up fifteen hundred years ago.
And I also wonder should I ask Bakawali for a crate of Viagra should I be granted the 70 naked angels in Paradise later.
Let me just keep wondering then while you people seek the night of nights…
SeaDemon Says 