Category: What da f***!!

Look carefully at the photos.

I initially wanted to post the enlarged version. Then I decided not to as some of you would still be fasting.

Let me tell you how depressing it is on the morning of Aidil Fitri at a graveyard. Here you are in a sombre mood, paying respect to the dead, when the silence is being broken by muffled cries, prayers and so on. You see 6-7 burials taking place, and almost always the white shroud turns red at places, as they lower the body of the accident victims into their grave. Then you look around and see more freshly dugged grave plots – a sign that more have died on the way balik kampung.

They balik kampung for good.

So if you drive to balik kampung, drive carefully.

Make sure your loved ones do not celebrate Hari Raya Korban on Aidil Fitri.

SELAMAT BERHARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI.

* ps: Hazyr…yes, I’m going diving. Raya is for Ribena kids.

NO!

That was my answer. People were ranting and raving digitally when I told them online that our happy Angkasawan will NOT be the first Muslim to fly into space.

The confusion seems to have stemmed from the fact that the National Space Agency does not know how the first Malaysian Angkasawan will find his direction to the Kaabah when he performs his prayer. IF HE PRAYS AT ALL, THAT IS. Until some smart alec who thinks he is smart came out with a calculation on how to face Mecca to pray.

So is he going to be the first Muslim to fly into space?

Before I answer that question, let me just go on a bit more on this confusing confusion.

When I was part of the North Pole Freefall Expedition back in 1998, I asked the Religious Advisor to the King that since I would be at the North Pole at a time when the sun never sets, and whichever direction I would look to would be South, how do I face the Kiblat (Mecca). His answer was simple. There is a verse in the Holy Quran that mentions whichever you look, whether to the East or to the West, you will see the “face” of Allah. So you can pray to him anytime, anywhere and in any direction. However, the Kiblat is set so it would be universally uniformed for Muslims to pray towards one symbolic direction. After all, God is Almighty, and everywhere you look He is there. So in our case, agree on a concensus for one direction, and pray towards that direction.

So is he going to be the first Muslim to fly into space?

Wait! So is the happy guy going to pray at all?

Would he not be a musafir (traveller) and is therefore not made compulsory to pray? Some would say since he will be “living” in the International Space Station for a week, he would have his musafir status revoked as he would be a mastautin (dweller) of the International Space Station.

My argument is: since the International Space Station itself is a moving vehicle, wouldn’t he still be a musafir? It does not permanently face any single direction. It is definitely not geostationary. So it conforms to a moving vehicle. Do you pray inside your car while it moves? You can sleep in it too while it moves. I know. I’ve done it even while driving. Therefore, to me, our Angkasawan would be a musafir until he is back on terra firma.

So is he going to be the first Muslim to fly into space?

My answer is NO!

The first Muslim in space was Prince Sultan ibn Salman ibn Abdul Aziz al Saud, now a minister in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. He flew on the Space Shuttle Discovery from the 17th through the 24th June 1985. Yes, he read the Quran and prayed in space. So the idiots at the National Space Agency should have studied some history on space missions before embarking in some quest that made Islam look like a very restrictive religion that is so anti-science and progress in the eyes of the Western media last year, when Islam is all about science and technology before the Muslims became stupid and let the Caliphs rule and let them into poverty and stupidity.

Oh, and as for the term ANGKASAWAN, it came from two words: ANGKA and SAWAN. Literally: Epileptic Figures. Look at the cost of sending one happy man into space and you would know my meaning.

On the eve of Hari Raya in 2005, I was still at work. My daughters Farhanah and Fazira were already in Kedah to spend the holidays with their mother and (now, late) step-father. And last year, I hated Hari Raya.

So how is it going to be like this Hari Raya?

I will be alone. That’s for sure. Farhanah and Fazira will be in Kedah with their mother as she will be spending her first Hari Raya being a widow. Mohammad Amirul Farhan and Noorunnisaa will be spending hari raya with their mother. Maybe the eve of Hari Raya I shall go buy myself some lemang and rendang and VSOY soya drink. Stay home watch original imitation movies, or gatecrash other people’s open house for free meals.

I should do that for the first two days. On the third day I plan to remain incommunicado and disappear the whole day, totally out of touch with civilisation; and get one with nature.

I hope next Hari Raya would be more meaningful for me…in the twilight years of my life.

I’ve been tagged yet again. This time it is by Blue-Fins (Person Formerly Known As Pink Fins). This time it is about bags!

5 Things In My Bag (I’ll take it as my pouch bag)

1. Swiss Army Knife
2. One-week’s medication
3. Opticrom Eye Ointment
4. Last weekend’s and the previous weekend’s marine park fees stubs
5. Coins

5 Things That Are In My Wallet

1. Money
2. Credit Cards
3. ATM card
4. My daughters’ photos
5. A&W Discount Card

5 Favourite Things In My Bedroom

1. This notebook
2. Magazines
3. Toilet
4. Bed
5. Sphygmomanometer

5 Things I Wish To Do

1. Go to the moon
2. Get this tag over and done with
3. Have the ability to fly
4. Get filthy rich
5. Marry the right woman

5 Things That I Am Doing Now

1. Typing this thing
2. Thinking of what to type
3. Yawning
4. Thinking of someone
5. Watching this screen

5 People I Would Like To Tag

1. Mocha
2. Icecool
3. Choy
4. Neomesuff
5. Jazzy

Now, can I sleep in peace?

Tomorrow, Malaysia will celebrate its 50th independence anniversary.

Countloon prompted me to this recent independent survey commissioned by the New Straits Times, supported by the Friedrich Naumann Foundation, and was conducted by the Merdeka Centre for Opinion Research.

The telephone survey of about 1,200 Malaysians also found that the majority of the various races find comfort and security in their respective ethnicity and not in a common ‘Malaysian’ identity. The survey also found that negative racial stereotyping was deeply entrenched. For example, minority Chinese and Indians see the majority Malays, who make up 60 percent of the population of 25 million people, as lazy.

Chinese and Indians make up 26 percent and 8.0 percent of the population respectively.

It found that more than half the population does not trust each other. For a nation that claims to be a ‘melting pot’, only eleven percent of the respondents said they had eaten often with friends from other races in the past three months. Thirty four percent said they have never had a meal with people of other races.

The survey found that 42 percent do not consider themselves Malaysian first, 46 percent say ethnicity is important in voting, 55 percent blame politicians for racial problems and 70 percent would help their own ethnic group first.

According to the survey, 58 percent of Malays, 63 percent of Chinese and 43 percent of Indians polled agreed that ”in general, most Malays are lazy.”

Meanwhile, 71 percent of Malays, 60 percent of Chinese and 47 percent of Indians agree that ”in general, most Chinese are greedy.” Sixty-four percent of Malays, 58 percent of Chinese and 20 percent of Indians agreed that ”in general, most Indians cannot be trusted.”

Hari Raya Puasa was wrongly perceived as the Malay New Year by 32 per cent of Malays, 84 per cent of Chinese and 45 per cent of Indians –when the festival actually marks the culmination of Ramadan, the holy month of fasting.

Similarly, the Chinese New Year was thought to be a religious festival by 57 percent of Malays, 53 percent of Indians and a whopping 62 percent of Chinese respondents.

Despite the lack of unity, the country has enjoyed long periods of peace except for one race riot in 1969.

And unlike in some neighbouring countries where uniformity is enforced, Malaysia’s minorities are not restricted and are free to practice their own cultures and religions and enjoy a vernacular education.

So, where will we be 50 years from now?

Muhibbah? Hopefully always. Front bending: James. Center row: Angel, Lily, Poo Geok, Alvina, me, Alice, Savina, Poh Le, Moon Siew Back row: Andy Lim, Muaazam, Khor, Phang