Category: What da f***!!

Here I am lying down in bed struck by fever. It was 39C at midnight, downed PCM; went down to 38C at 7am, downed more PCM; now it is at 37C. I looked at the date and remembered that some three years ago, TNB CEO Lookalike, Jai the Bhai, Walking Vibrator and I were busy planning for our deployment in Langkawi. I also had to plan to retrieve some equipment that were lying around in Krungthep. By the end of January of 2004, Walking Vibrator and I had retrieved the Krungthep equipment and then I went up to Penang to attend a seminar on US Customs laws and regulations, then rented a car and went up to Alor Setar to move some equipment in Jitra to the Alor Setar Tower. Later that evening I was already in Langkawi where some more equipment were due. I left the rented car at the Alor Setar Airport because the next day I flew back to KL by Air Asia.

I remember as the aircraft thundered down the runway on its take-off roll, I could feel that we were slightly slower than usual. Some 15 minutes later we were orbiting Penang and I could see the airport from Flight Level 25 as the aircraft then spiralled downwards. The aircraft had developed engine problems and had to land in Penang. I spent some 5 hours on ground before we were allowed back on board. I knew something was still wrong as the downwind leg prior to landing at KLIA was a bit too long, and the cockpit crew were playing with the throttle levers to help maintain course etc. It was truly a long finals but we landed safely. The other passengers were oblivious to the fact that we were in some major trouble, maybe because they do not know how an aircraft functions.

It was the start of a period of two weeks in Langkawi that lasted some 5 months.

Finally…the truth has prevailed.

The culprit has admitted. I have banned the culprit from ever coming to my house ever.

B*tch!

I found out that this b*tch came back to the house at 3am to sleep here. So that was when she decided to let go her lies to the wife. No wonder the wife only asked me early this morning.

What is this? Gain points by jeopardising someone’s marriage so you could sleep in their house?

What is it about wives that they are never satisfied with whatever husbands have to say?

Let’s take this case as an example: my wife is an office-bearer in a political organisation and is the envy of many of her peers. Her blunt methods in dealing with people have also not gone down well with many. Back when we had just gotten married, character ‘A’ made up a story that nearly caused our marrige to collapse. And all because ‘A’ had a fallout with her then good-friend ‘B’. And because ‘B’ became close to my wife, ‘B’ became a convenient subject for her to relate to me in an intimate way (I won’t use the term “romantic”). Initial explanations were met by a brick wall that the wife had put up. So, I thought it would rather be wise for me to shut up and let the truth prevail. In the end it did.

Yesterday, after almost 5 years, ‘A’ appeared at my house. Now she sees that the house has gotten three times as large as the one she went to previously, and there is more than one car sheltering in the porch, not including the ones parked outside. ‘A’ has had yet another fallout with a good friend, ‘C’, who is a divorcee, and is also in my wife’s good books. I woke up at 5 this morning to a barrage of non-sensical questions from the wife trying to establish a link between ‘C’ and I. And as it went, the only time I had a talk with ‘C’ was when I asked her to rethink about leaving her husband, ‘M’, who happens to be a good friend of mine. ‘C’ admitted that brief encounter two years ago in her SMS to the wife. But being hot-headed, the wife refuses to believe any of it and still insists that there is something going on between ‘C’ and I, and it is also putting ‘C”s relationship with her current boyfriend in jeopardy. I refuse to entertain anymore of my wife’s stupidity.

The same thing happened to my wife when she was married to her previous husband: a good friend of hers who was jealous that she managed to bag a big fish (a Class ‘A’ contractor from Kelantan) conjured up a story about the ex-husband having an affair with this so-called good friend. And my wife, being her, decided it was best to confront him and accuse him of all this, and shouted abuses at him. This resulted in her having to endure 18 stitches to her calf as her ankle was almost severed by the blow of a golf club the ex-husband had used to whack her. This same friend, tried to do the same with me but failed.

It seems that the wife is always forgetting lessons that should be learnt: that when you’ve got a Number One, the only way is down. And everyone is very willing to see her tumble so they can laugh about it and take her position. If only she has common sense…

And to think that my late grandmother was better looking that any of them…

Akon’s “Smack That” is quite catchy. Walking Vibrator used to like the other one: “I’m So Lonely” but changed the lyrics to “I Am So Horny.”

Anyway, my son, Farhan, would remark saying that “Smack That” is a madman’s song because at the beginning of the music video has Akon singing alone in the prison cell. And everytime I sing the chorus, my daughter Nisaa would put her hand over my mouth.

And of course, PADI’s most-macho Divemaster a.k.a Holemaster doesn’t lke the song too.

So enjoy here this song! Haha!

The Cute One yesterday mentioned to me that my recent postings have been filled with complaints and grouses. Haha! Maybe so. But here’s another one.

As I was about to leave for Rawang last night for a meeting, this item came out as the main news on TV3 News. A 9-month old toddler was smothered to death using a pillow by the babysitter’s husband for refusing to stop crying. That is sick, cruel…and yes, as much as I hate the death punishment, this guy should hang.

Imagine you sending your child to a babysitter, you trust your child’s safety and life in the hands of the babysitter…then a few hours later your child is diagnosed as either being maimed for life, or pronounced dead. If you don’t like your wife babysitting the children of others, tell her. If you cannot stand the racket made by the children, wait it out, then when the parents come to pick the children up, inform them that you’re no longer interested in looking after them. How would you feel if someone else kills our precious children?

This guy deserves to hang. No matter what personal problems he was having at that time, if any, that prompted him to act so, there is no excuse. What he should have done was to look for me to vent out his anger. I’ll be a good sparring partner. Just be prepared to be rushed to the Admissions & Emergencies Ward.

Hmm..maybe I should go diving again…there’ll be less complaints from me and from The Cute One to me.

Several bombs went off in Krungthep tonight, injuring 24 and possibly killing 2 innocent people. Near my favourite place, too. Bad start for 2007.

Steve is in Hat Yai with his wife: what a thing to do. His favourite mamasan laughed her head off when Steve called her to tell her what he had done. I did too. I sent Steve a poem earlier yesterday:

So many pretty girls to find,
But Steve is in a bind,
He must be having the time of his life,
Spending time in the hotel room with his wife.

Me, I’m listening to the TV3 news with my son, Farhan. Just the two of us. This house, as usual, is just a hotel for the wife. Somehow she never feels that she belongs in this house.

What a start to 2007…sigh!

Oh, by the way, I finally had a good massage. My whole body system’s gone haywire for being too long on dry land.

I don’t know what it is about KL drivers in particular. Probably full automation and easy access to everything should be the keypoints town and city planners need to look at when planning the urban sprawl in Malaysia.

I was driving to the grocers, and this MPV in front of mine tried to squeeze his vehicle into this really tight spot that would have made a virgin mosquito look like a professional hooker. When he failed to maneuver his MPV into that spot, he insisted on going into reverse, forcing me to quickly go into reverse, almost hitting the car behind mine. By this time, there were at least 7 cars behind this idiot’s. Then a motorcycle vacated a parking spot meant for motorcycles, and again this idiot tried to squeeze his vehicle in there, and obviously failed. Finally, he did a 6-point turn, went through a NO ENTRY sign, almost hitting oncoming traffic, and parked at the first vacant lot he found. And he was trying to park in front of the grocers I was going to.

The number of sign language he got from other drivers must have made the deaf blush with shame. In the grocers I went straight to this monkey’s face and told him to built a shop-block in his backyard for easier access.