It Is Just Amazing

Arrow through the heart

It’s amazing how I feel when you are near
everything becomes great there is no fear
my life that was dark with the colour of doom
suddenly turns into a lovely bloom

Sunshine bathes the meadows of my heart
and keeps it warm when we are apart
you give me hope with your feelings so real
and slowly life’s joys begin to reveal

I have my temperaments, sometimes up, sometimes down
I will try to smile always though at times I may frown
you must know that a possession you are not, but you are a goal
you are my love, my life, you are joy to my soul

If it is just within the hour that I am condemned to die
I will smile with the thoughts of you, and only you, the reason why

A Century Of Rainy Days

Today is the 100th day. And it rained like hell. As it is the 100th day, it would be my last day of mourning, and from tomorrow I should stay happy (I hope).

Coincidentally, a year ago today, Gee and I left for Perhentian for one of my best dive trips. We had Katakpink, Rj Ena, Nafi and some of the other guys joining us on this trip.

Gee and I at the Bentong Petronas

I just want to be happy after this. I just want to have some kind of hope in life. I just want to have someone to look forward to being with, to wake up with, and to look at before I fall asleep. I just want someone whom to me would mean everything, and vice-versa.

Questions On My Mind

A chapter slowly closes on me, the curtains start to fall
I try hard to inch forward, behind me I leave them all
The weather is sunny yet the waves are restless in my heart
I wonder if the path ahead is clear or will I suffer another cut

I want so much to move forward but I pause before I even start
I have this love in my heart but it strikes me like a dart
The river meanders beautifully but it is where my life flows out
This mind gets confused more as I try to turn about

There is so much love in my heart to give
There is so much in this life for me to live

I want to hold my love as her head lies on my arm
I want to be the one who protects her from every kind of harm
But each time when the night comes it is cruel, cold and empty
Which is why I want to move forward so there’s someone loving me

I want to sail away, be bold, and brave the world
I want to skim the waves, with one heading and make the sails unfurl
But the horizon I see is flat, not round, and beyond it I cannot see
And I always fear at the end of it is a chasm that will swallow me

I begin to drown even on dry land, like a bat that is blind during the day
Only my fingers are seen to breach the surface, I hope you can pull me away

You know who you are…you know who you are to me…

Over The Rainbow

To that person out there, I’m flying over the rainbow…

Thank you.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There’s a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can’t I?
Some day I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can’t I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can’t I?

Pretty rainbow

100 Days

When the Soviet Air Force shot down a Korean Airlines Boeing 747 back in 1983, the Soviet authorities downplayed the tragedy knowing that in 90 days, the human mind would forget. And despite the late President Ronald Reagan’s attempts to get the UN Security Council to hit out at the Soviets, after 90 days no one really cared and the tragedy never made it to the frontpage of the dailies anymore.

I passed by Hutan Melintang yesterday on my way to Sitiawan, and it invoked certain painful memory. As I sped towards Lekir, I calculated mentally and it had been 98 days or exactly 14 weeks since that painful episode. On my way back, I made it a point to stop at Hutan Melintang by visiting a distant relative. I looked at the road leading to the jetty, and although my heart did not sink as it would have, there was still that gut-wrenching pain somewhat.

Tomorrow, it would be 100 days since then; and any traditional Javanese woman who had given birth on that fateful day would be cleansing herself in preparation for her first intercourse with the husband after a 3 months and 10 days confinement.

It is time for me to move on…hopefully.

More Sunsets

I took these at PD’s 4th and 1st mile:


It was drizzling

Then…much later…

It was a good trip…

My Song For You

Driving isn’t the same anymore. That pretty face of Hannah Yeoh no longer decorates the sides of the roads in Subang Jaya now that she is a state assemblywoman for Subang Jaya. The DAP, Gerakan and PKR posters, banners etc have all disappeared, only the ones put up by the MCA and UMNO are still there. I guess they’ll do it at the 11th hour of the 14-day period…as usual leaving things until late. Someone once equate procrastination to masturbating – because you feel nice about it until you’ve f***ed yourself.

I feel like going to a karaoke joint but Forlorn Soldier’s not around. He’s gone overseas as usual. Last night an old song played in my head…a very sad song. I’ve sung this song before and back in mid December I sang this song…it just broke my heart. Even as I type this, while listening to the song, I feel so melancholic and tears well in my eyes.

Anyway, here it is, Hasnol’s Laguku Untuk Mu (My Song For You):

Kehadiran membawa seribu erti
Terasa bagaikan suatu mimpi
Indah mahligai yang kita bina
Impian kini terlaksana sudah

Tiada ku terlintas akan terjadi
Kita kan terpisah jua akhirnya
Sejenak ku terfikir segala
Oh keindahan bersamamu

( 1 )
Kembalilah kasih kepada diriku
Hidupku sepi tanpa kehadiranmu
Dengar rayuanku jeritan batinku
Masih dahagakan kemesraanmu
Hanya kau yang ku cinta tiada kedua
Usah biar ku menderita

Setelah kau pergi tiada kembali
Pilunya tak dapat ku menggambarkan
Abadi kasihku yang amat suci
Biarku yang dalam kegelapan

Dengarlah dendangan laguku untukmu
Suara hati lambang suci murni
Berat saatku dilamun rindu
Setelah lama dikau pergi oh…
Kasihku… oh…

The One I Wanted To Vote For

Maimun Yusuf a.k.a Tok Mun

I would have voted for her – Maimun Yusuf a.k.a Tok Mun. This 89-year old lady raised her own money to fight a cause she believes in. In the picture above, she is seen proudly holding the flag of Terengganu and the only paper qualification she has is a participating certificate of civil society conference by state government long time ago. It means you don’t have to be from the Keneddy family to participate in democracy.

Tok Mun's house

See the way she lives. That is her house up there. Had she become the PM, people like Ibrahim Ali, Tengku Adnan Mansor, Samy Vellu, and myself included would have been a lot slimmer because she goes around on her bicycle only, thus nullifying the Opposition’s (depending which state you live in now) claims that it can bring down toll rates, fuel prices, and better healthcare facilities. With a lifestyle like hers, who needs fuel, toll and medicine? At 89 years of age, she is a living proof.

Tok Mun campaigning

She goes campaigning herself, there was hardly anyone to help her.

Tok Mun campaigning

Her election poster:

Her election poster

Sadly, although she managed to garner the support from over 600 voters, she has lost her deposit of RM10K. She spent a further RM4K in making posters, banners and flyers for herself, and for campaigning.

If you think this gutsy old lady deserves your support financially to get her back on her feet, you can visit her website.

Seriously, I admire this old lady for her courage, and her beliefs.

Teknologi Maklumat Terkini

I was inspired by DNAS’s latest posting which is in malay, I shall try as much as I can to use pure malay in this posting. However, I cannot recall the malay version of technology, as the malays were backwards until they learnt the word “technology”:

Duduk aku di sini sambil menatap layar komputer ini dan mula mengimbau akan kegunaan teknologi maklumat semasa kempen pilihanraya umum yang baru lepas. Ini menunjukkan bahawa cara para calon berceramah tidak lagi terhad kepada ceramah umum yang sering kita lihat.

Saya mula menggunakan sebuah komputer pada tahun 1982; ketika itu kami di Sekolah Melayu Jalan Stesen di Kuala Kangsar sedang dalam percubaan untuk menubuhkan kelab komputer kami sendiri. Di antara komputer terawal yang kami gunakan adalah dari jenis Sinclair ZX Spectrum yang mempunyai ingatan-baca sahaja sebanyak 16 ribu byte (16KB) dan memerlukan kami menggunakan bahasa BASIC. Dengan komputer tersebutlah kami membuat tatacara-tatacara dalam bahasa tersebut dan menghantar satu salinan tatacara tersebut kepada penerbit majalah komputer di Kerajaan Bersatu. Biasanya salinan tersebut dibuat menggunakan susunan lewah cakera bebas seperti pita kaset yang biasa dapat dilihat sehingga awal tahun 1990-an.

Kemudian, sekitar tahun 1984, semasa saya melanjutkan pengajian saya di Kerajaan Bersatu saya telah membeli sebuah komputer rumah jenis Commodore 64 yang mempunyai ingatan baca sahaja sebanyak 64 ribu byte (64KB). Untuk bermain sebarang permainan, anda memerlukan sebuah batang ria untuk mengendalikan permainan tersebut.

Kini, komputer rumah adalah berjuta kali ganda lebih berkuasa daripada apa yang pernah saya perolehi lebih suku abad yang lalu. Ia juga boleh melakukan tugasan pelbagai dan memudahkan kerja seseorang pengguna di samping menjadi lebih mesra pengguna.

Walau bagaimanapun, saya kini sedang menulis cataring ini dari sebuah kedai kopi siber di Subang Jaya kerana saya telah berjaya merosakkan sebanyak dua buah komputer peribadi jenis buku catitan dalam masa 3 bulan. Itu mungkin merupakan satu kejayaan peribadi yang tidak bangun membuat, malah bangun kena buat.

Apa-apapun, saya amat berharap agar Jazzmatazzed tidak terkencing membaca cataring ini.

Sekian, alif ba ta wassalammu.

————————————————————————————

Translations:

Ingatan-Baca-Sahaja – Read-Only Memory (ROM)

Tatacara-Tatacara – Programs

Kerajaan Bersatu – United Kingdom

Susunan Lewah Cakera Bebas – Redundant Arrays of Inexpensive Disks (RAID)

Komputer Rumah – Home Computer

Tugasan Pelbagai – Multitasking

Pengguna – User

Mesra Pengguna – User Friendly

Cataring – Blog

Kedai Kopi Siber – Cybercafe

Buku Catitan – Notebook

Bangun Membuat – Active

Bangun Kena Buat – Passive

On The Other Side Of The Fence

I wrote this on one of UMNO forums today, in light of the massive defeat of the BN in the 12th General Elections:

For the first time in most our our lives, we are now an Opposition in what we have always believed to be “our safe state.” PJ Utara is now dominated by the Opposition…and even the MCA giant like Chew Mei Fun has crumbled. At 4pm when I went to SS2, I met Chew Mei Fun’s polling agent, Stevie Ho Leh Jan, who is a personal friend of mine, at the voting center, and he told me only 15.9% had turned out a at 2pm. My original reading nationally was 46% for BN, 16% for the Opposition, and 38% undecided. When the turnout figure changed drastically between 3pm to 5pm, I knew that the silent 38% were out to speak out with deafening silence.

In many areas, the BK5 process failed, our perayu undi failed, our K10 failed – we did not do our work properly, and we were eager to show good results and process to the former MB, just to please him, but failed to read the underlying current. We became complacent and hardly went out to woo voters thinking, “It’s an MCA seat, so we don’t have to work so hard.” As Chaucer would have said, “Padan dengan muka. (serves you right)”

Looking at the results of the whole nation’s elections process, I belive PKR has only made it because it has this pact with the DAP. The DAP is the real champ in this sense. The BN = Barang Naik war cry of the PKR only appeals to the urban malays and less-informed chinese; it was more the DAP’s “Let’s vote for change” and “A vote for MCA is a vote for UMNO” banners that made the impact.

We hit back in Penang and said that “A vote for DAP is a vote for PAS”; so the chinese stayed away from voting PAS but gave DAP and PKR their vote.

Sad to say, but as what I have been saying all along, political chauvinism is NOT the way to win votes. Going back to the issue of Klang Municipal councillors from the MCA refusing to wear the exhorbitantly expensive robes for meetings, or the RM2K baju melayu/baju kurung; and the state UMNO’s reaction, ws the start to it all. All this I have written here 4-5 years ago, but went unheeded. We always speak of “Ketuanan Melayu”: that other races have no right to question us and that our rights should be respected; but we always forget the fact that respect is to be earned and commanded; respect cannot be demanded or forced upon. The chinese, too, pay taxes as we do, and deserve the same rights and privileges that we malays enjoy.

The non-malays post May-1969 may understand the need to address socio-economic gaps, but 40 years on, again as I have mentioned several times here and during meetings, that we malays should learn to do away with being spoon-fed, and do away with inequalities in our policies. There are certain aspects that can be protected, but in the end it is always we ourselves that complain about the malays Ali Baba-ing contracts out to the chinese. And we always fail to point to ourselves of our incompetencies, because of our chauvinistic attitude.

We say that we, as Muslims, earn the right to buikd osques and suraus everywhere, and allow the Christians to build churches in a housing area only if the housing area is of a certain acreage; but our developers will always circumvent this requirement by developing housing areas that have less acreage, leaving the Christians with no choice but to rent shoplots and convert them into small assemblies. How Islamic is that when Muhammad (pbuh) himself decreed that Muslim soldiers, after facing the Romans, should help rebuild and repair damaged churches in areas held by the Muslims?

We claim to have a coalition with our non-malay partners; but what we actually have is a coalition where we tell each other, “You do what you want to do and do not step on us, but we have the right to step all over you.” Can you blame the chinese for rejecting the MCA and GERAKAN for this?

Last year, I was called back from semi-retirement to help out in Ijok where, although is a malay majority area, the Indian community call the shots. We parachuted in an Indian candidate to defend the seat against PKR’s malay. The Indians were in the unenviable position of being politically-marginalised both by the local MIC, and also by the other community members. The malays however, did not want to see another Indian candidate. I had to go from house to house to address grouses, versus the original plan of asking me to give ceramahs. I was glad that Saudara Asrul, with the blessing of Saudara Azli, with a few more members of the Pemuda UMNO PJU, could help me, learnt the ropes, and conducted the same process on their own having watched me on two occassions.

We won Ijok. And because we felt safe, and complacent, and because someone agreed to let a friend run for elections there, decided to remove the Indian representative there back to Kuala Selangor and put a malay in an already divided malay community; and failed to read the situation in the field. No thanks to, again, our political-chauvinism that caused the HINDRAF to react, the Hindus felt they have been taken for a ride when they had to give up their MIC seat to UMNO, and decided to vote against the BN. You can look at the figures and see for yourself that it was the Indian votes, coupled with the anti-UMNO malays, and the chinese who voted for change, that caused the demise of BN in Ijok.

UMNO will have to wake up. The malays can no longer think that they own this land. Around 70 percent of the current voters were all Malaysian-born, and do not remember what May 1969 was all about. They can no longer be swayed by the appearance of steamrollers and hard-working JKR contractors tarring the roads and so on. The malays will have to have a retrospection and see where they now stand after 40 years of being spoon-fed like spastics.

If UMNO wants to remain relevant, it should stop fighting only for the cause of the malays. Maybe Dato’ Onn Jaafar’s original idea of forming UMNO was right – it was meant to be a party for all races.

But chauvinism almost killed it.