SeaDemon Says

I saw Jimy‘s post in her blog on the number of places she has covered. I thought that that’s a cool thing to do. Just that I’m lazy to do it as refined as she does, so I used Microsotf Paint to edit my unconventional map of the world to paint the places I’ve been to.

It looks crude, but it serves the purpose.

Jimy, can you calculate for me the percentage of the places of the world that I have covered please? Hehee..me lazy.

Chalky is his nom de plume when he writes in International forums. Originally from Cornwall, he now resides in Selangor and has been away from home for sooooooo long.

Too long, in fact, that he no longer speaks like an Englishman does. When he went to Bangkok, the taxi driver told him that there was no way he is an Englishman judging from the way he speaks. When he made a call to England to someone he works with, she had no idea who he was, and upon introducing himself mentioned that he sounded more like a Pakistani.

Well, what can you expect from a man who has a horse for a Duchess?

Noticed how violent the rain has been in KL lately? A weather advisory was issued a few days before Hari Raya about this current phenomena and it was supposed to last through the 26th. Now a new advisory has been issued for an extension of one day.

Maybe it’s a way of the Devil complaining about DITC suddenly seen performing prayers and actually fasted throughout Ramadhan. Otherwise he would have been the sole samaritan helping restaurateurs in KL to make money during Ramadhan lunch and tea times, thus bringing down inflation through the increase in volume of monetary transaction in the economy.

But it could also be God telling Ming to belanja me, Countloon and Icecool to some massage…sorry…makan since his crown on the shoulders dah start to pick up cobwebs dah. We can forget about Choy la. He’s happy there in China chasing foul-smelling mouthed girls. Well, we can always makan on his behalf. Double-rations la.

Yeah…I just said that. The morning before Hari Raya itself, I sent two SMS messages to NTV7’s The Breakfast Show. One mentioned how bored I was and wished that hari raya was already over; the other telling some friends of mine to fast on that ultimate day.

Then it was back to my new old house in USJ (bought in 2001, lived there for 3 months, moved out to Gombak and Sungai Buloh, now moving back there) and continued painting the house with my brother-in-law. He painted inside while I did the fence. I spent 5 hours in the hot sun before a violent storm threatened to strike me with lightning. By that time, I was so dehydrated and my hands were shaking worse than Ronald Reagan’s ever did. If it weren’t the last day of fasting I could have easily ejaculated by putting my hands where they shouldn’t be. That was how bad the shaking was.

The final breaking of the fast was done at a mamak restaurant with my brother-in-law (quarreled with the wife over the phone about whose parents’ house should we spend the next morning at…and we’re both from the Klang valley) so I was too pissed off to break fast with her and the children. Then I went off to my parents’ place to help out with preparations. By the time I got back to my mother-in-law’s place in Klang at around 1.30am, I had had to reply to 7,201,835 greetings via SMS. I slept at around 4.30am and woke up at 10.20am. So my wife won hands down.

Left for my parents’ place at around noon. Steady stream of people visited the house. Two diver friends dropped by, Keith Khoo and Kimi. Although the open house was supposed to end at 6pm, food ran out at 4pm and more had to be cooked in situ. Final guests left at 9pm. Had a quick shower, re-arranged the house, and off we went back to Klang, where I had the first meal of the day. Yes, worse than fasting itself.

Today, went to Datuk Maria Abdullah’s house (Malaysian’s know her by her stage name Maria Menado, the first Malaysian Pontianak). Got invited to her grandson’s (Ari) wedding on this 3rd December. She’s a superb cook and I remember her fish head curry when I stayed at her Melbourne house for two weeks back in 1993.

Then went to my partner-in-crime’s house. Syahmi Naim is a Brit, a Muslim convert, with a lot of amusing tales to share with you if he knows you well enough. Haven’t seen him in over a year, and now we’re back together again to diss some more people off.

Now I’m back at home in front of this PC. I feel a lot better.

Somehow Hari Raya is no longer for me. I like fasting better.

According to top Muslim astronomers, Indian astronomers, as well as the US Naval Observatory, the new moon should be able to be sighted today at 0514UTC (0514 APLPHA), or at 1314 Malaysian time (1314 HOTEL). There is a big chance that Aidil Fitri will then be tomorrow instead of Tuesday. Barring weather conditions, at least officials at one of the 28 designated sites should be able to see the new moon.

So how will I spend the last day of Ramadhan and the first day of Syawal? As usual would be my answer.

First, we will all break fast as one family for the last time this year. Then we will all go back to my mother-in-law’s place in Klang. Much later we will make our way back to my parents’ place in USJ. Then return to Klang for the night. In the morning, we’ll be going to the mosque for prayers, then it’s off to USJ to celebrate at my parents’ place this year. After relative pigging out, I shall search for a hiding place where I can snooze peacefully, only to wake up later in the evening to pig-out again.

What about relatives and friends visiting? Well, if I see them, I see them.

During the onset of the Asian Economic/Financial Crisis back in 1997, my colleague, Kasmadi Muhammad a.k.a Madimat and I would spend time together in the office playing Age of Empires (I still play it until now!) and we would go for Sahur at Nasi Lemak Antarabangsa in Kampung Baru. Enroute we would listen to Joe Satriani‘s 1993 album called “Time Machine.” One of my favourites is a track called Rubina. Below is the live version played by Joe Satriani himself in San Francisco.

Enjoy:

Here’s wishing my Hindu friends and readers a very Happy Deepavali, and I pray that good will triumph over evil.

To those self-centered, narrow-focused Muslims who subscribe to the views of Takaful’s Head of Syariah Department, Fauzi Mustaffar, I have this to say to you: come and suck my dick.