Month: January 2008

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Happy Birthday, Ayah

My father at the age of 10
My father (bottom left) as a Boy Scout at the age of 10

It’s January 16th.

Today is both a happy and sad day for me. Today, my dear friend Hazyr turns 32, while my father turns 69. I am happy for the grace of God they have made it by another year, and I pray that He will continue to bestow upon them good health, prosperity and unlimited happiness. Sad because this would be the first year I do not get to wish him personally, as I did two years in a row before that (I did not do it for 3 consecutive years prior to that).

My father upon graduating from UM (Singapore)
My father (center) upon graduating from University of Malaya, Singapore

Putting aside the differences, if I do not live to wish him the same next year, let it be known that I do love him very much. It hurts me to do this, but I have a statement to make, and I deserve to be heard and recognised; something I feel he should learn to accept.

My father, the young Supritendant of Police
My father, a young Supritendant of Police (eq. Lieutenant-Colonel) at the age of 27

Happy birthday, Ayah. Forgive me for my wrong-doings and for hurting your feelings. You are, have been and will always be the best father anyone could possibly have, and if I have to live my life all over again, I wouldn’t do it any differently with you.

May Allah bless you for having brought me onto His Earth.

Parents and children
The family – taken exactly a year ago

P.S: my friend, Ibu, has the hots for you

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Growing Old Together

“Honey, I would love to grow old with you,” she said, removing her glasses to put her head on my shoulder.

We were watching a Clint Eastwood movie that co-stars Ed Harris. The breeze from outside was nice and cooling. I kissed the top of her head.

“I’m already old,” I replied. “How much older do you want me to be?”

She laughed, poking my ribs.

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Life Is A Journey – Unlike On Samy Vellu’s Highways

I wrote this on a very dear friend’s blog today:

Life is a long journey
a journey of thousands of miles
it is filled with both poison and honey
as it is with frowns and smiles
life is also a big gamble
to find what is not and what is true
how you stand or you tumble
how you move depend on you
there will be junctions along the way
all have its happiness and pain
you decide whether to go straight or veer away
whether to lose or to gain

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Yesterday’s Sunset

Sunset as seen from my room - 14 Jan 08

Sunset as seen from my bedroom yesterday – Monday 14th January 2008.

Long fiery sunsets like this can only mean one thing – it will rain the next day.

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Cause For Concern

The day I had those chest pains (early Saturday), I felt a familiar dizziness later in the afternoon as I tried to pick something up from the floor. A bad headache and neckache followed and soon my left eye was as red as Maya Karin’s in PHSM.

I have been resting and sleeping most of the time, however last night, after dinner, as I stared at the ceiling, there was a sudden “spatial blockshift” : the celing moved on its own to one side, only to return to its original position less than a second later.

I woke up this morning, felt a neckache. So I tried taking my blood pressure and the result is shocking: 147/95 with a heart rate of 95bpm.

It has now gone down to 140/90 with a heart rate of 91bpm. I wonder if there is an elevation in haematocrit, and/or increase in coagulation of the blood. A logical reason would be in the diet: oversupply of protein, as protein promotes constriction of the blood vessels. However, I have been staying off meat. Could it be now that I am getting this from the amount of fish I’ve been having?

I have lost 5kgs since the beginning of December, exercising, eat more fish and veg, abstaining from meat etc, meaning I am doing something right. And I hate sugar and salt. So what is wrong with me?

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L-O-V-E Is A Four-Letter Word

Maybe love is just a farce, and to say love is a beautiful feeling is a fallacy.

Love is just a feeling that one gets, and falls in the same category as hope does: HOPELESS.

I could smell the intoxicating odour of cigarette smoke, as the Lost Woman puffs away, probably looking at me from behind as I stand and stare outside the window: the roads in KL are still wet from the heavy downpour an hour ago, as wet as the torso of both Lost Woman and I.

I took a sip of my JD Coke. In the back of my mind I know that the Lost Woman will soon start thinking about what Ambrose Bierce had said about love:

“Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.”

Whereas my quote on love would be:

“L.O.V.E – like F.U.C.K, is just another meaningless four-letter word.”

She took another puff, inhaled deep, and exhaled poisonous gas. Finally finding the courage, she asked, “You have had me so many times now. Do you actually love me?”

I turned to look at her, slowly sipping my JD Coke, then turned back to look out the window.

I just made love to you, Woman. Doesn’t that count?

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Crosses And Croissants

*phone rings*

Me: Hi, Honey!

She: Hi, Baby. How are you feeling today?

Me: A lot better actually. I slept well due to Xanax. But that’s the only time I’ll use it. It’s not good to rely so much on Xanax.

She: Why?

Me: Xanax killed Linda Wong.

She: Who’s Linda Wong?

Me: She was one of my favourite pornstars.

She: *laughter* You’re your jovial self today. You sounded so bad yesterday. Sorry I couldn’t be with you last night, Honey. I had to go to church with mom after the dinner because today she can’t make it there.

Me: That’s okay. I’ve always had this thing for Catholic girls.

She: Don’t you start.

Me: Let’s have tea. I don’t really feel like going out, but we could just have tea and laze around at home.

She: But you know there’s nothing at home for tea. What do you feel like having?

Me: Honey, you just make the tea, I’ll go get some croissants or scones somewhere. Will that be okay with you?

She: Sounds good, but are you fit to drive?

Me: Yes, I am.

She: Because if you’re not, I’ll give you a good spanking. Oh, I take that back. You always like to be spanked.

Me: Haha! Killjoy! I’ll see you later. I’ll give you a call once I’ve gotten the food for us.

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Fillers And How They Feel About The Fill

Gap-filler, emotional buffer, tukang cukupkan quorum are all part-time “occupations” that exist for different reasons. All, are equally tiring, and can render one totally burnt-out, physically and emotionally.

The only reason one is a gap-filler, emotional buffer, or tukang cukupkan quorum is because the person is not truly needed by the person(s) who select him/her to become those, but at that particular point of time, his/her presence is deemed necessary to achieve a certain goal(s).

The bad thing for the gap-filler/emotional buffer/tukang cukupkan quorum is that he/she is being given false hopes by the intender and usually ends up worse off that he/she was before.

So for those who like to be treated as gap-fillers, please report to the nearest dentist.

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?????? – ?????????

Yeah, I am missing someone.

Here is a song I used to listen to a lot back in 2004. It’s called ?????? (missing you) by Peacemaker. I’ll provide the translation of the song below:

I close my eyes and I can feel
the loneliness in my heart
the night is long
and lonely
when I breathe, I feel the emptiness

I want to feel the worries that I’ve given you
so you can hear the voice of the moon
whispering you to have a good dream
and let you know forever

That each time
we are so far apart
there is a word in my heart
that I would like to tell you
let you know and understand

That I am miss you
when we are far from each other
I will say out the word
and you will know
and replace the worrying

I miss you

And I have only you

Good morning, Honey, it’s 7.28am.