Month: March 2008

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Also Stumm Zarathustra

Arthur C Clarke is dead

Thus silenced Zarathustra.

Just as I began to harbour this secret thought of learning the arts of space travel without having to turn gay or have the government sponsor my trip, my guru, Arthur C Clarke, famous for 2001: A Space Odyssey, has died. This is definitely a sad moment for Friedrich Nietzche’s apprentices worldwide.

I don’t know if Clarke was ever a Nietzchean, but when they made 2001: A Space Odyssey a movie, they used Also Sprach Zarathustra (Thus Spake Zarathustra a.k.a Thus Spoke Zarathustra) by Richard Strauss, its theme song. Strauss wrote that score based on Nietzche’s book of the same title.

So, without space travel, I will now never know if God really is dead, or if Superman (depicted as Übermensch) exists, or if Hillary Clinton actually have a video tape of Monica Lewinsky smoking a Bill Clinton cigar.

And Elvis will never get that free ride back home to Earth after being kidnapped by aliens in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

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Ribut Yang Menghempas Denai Tidak Berupaya Mengubah Pasar Chow Kit

Sedang aku meniarap melayani petikan daripada Yoshida Brothers dan lagu ributnya, aku mula terkenang akan suatu masa dahulu di mana bernaung aku di bawah puing-puing kehidupan umpama tangan atau jari atau kepala seorang pengebom bunuh diri di sebuah pekan berhabuk bernama Falluja di mana agaknya memberi Fellatio kepada diri sendiri merupakan satu method of escapism bagi mereka-mereka yang tidak mempunyai peti televisyen untuk menonton Star Trek: The Next Generation untuk melihat raja perempuan Borg bernama Collective dan buah dada yang membonjol akibat ingin melepaskan diri masing-masing dari dalam baju yang ketat itu. Mungkin pada asalnya Gene Rodenberry ingin mengutarakan para pendapat hak milik Freiderich Nietzche; akan tetapi revolusi bunga-bungaan sekitar tahun 1960-an telah membangkitkan naluri syahwatnya dan mula melencong ke arah Sigmund Freud pula.

Di luar sana titis-titis hujan sudah lama berhenti dari membasahi bumi yang arid disebabkan proses kegondolan yang dilaksanakan di bawah pemerintahan seorang budak Jawa berambut putih berpipikan Botox yang sering kelihatan memegang penyapu tetapi kini begitu sepi dan lebih sepi dari adik Sharlinie yang posternya masih segar ditampal di serata bumi yang tiada belas kasihan ini. Longkang yang dahulunya sungai yang dihidupi mergasatwa marine kini kaya dengan bahan galian yang terhakis, seraya mempromosi minuman kegemaran rakyat Malaysia, iaitu teh tarik, yang mungkin juga telah memainkan peranan menambahkan berat badanku sebanyak 15 kilogram sejak tahun 1990.

Aku masih berada dalam keadaan seperti mencapai nirvana tetapi otakku ini berasa begitu buntu; malah lebih buntu daripada otak Pak Lah yang terpaksa diperah untuk membentuk sebuah kabinet yang mungkin berfungsi persis sebuah kabinet dapur yang tidak lain tidak bukan hanyalah tempat menyimpan barangan dan tiada kegunaan lain untuk mereka. Tetapi mungkin juga kebuntuan otak Pak Lah kini adalah satu hikmah kerana beliau seumpama tiada mempunyai sebarang sel di antara kedua-dua telinga beliau pra-PRU 12.

Mungkin nukilanku kali ini membawa lebih penyakit darah tinggi mahupun migraine bagi sesetengah pembaca, malah mungkin ada juga yang terkencing dalam seluar. Hakikatnya, sesekali perlu aku meluahkan perasaanku dalam bahasa yang agak normal.

Biarlah aku mengundur diri buat kali ini dan menyorok di bawah perdu pohon taugeh.

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It Is Just Amazing

Arrow through the heart

It’s amazing how I feel when you are near
everything becomes great there is no fear
my life that was dark with the colour of doom
suddenly turns into a lovely bloom

Sunshine bathes the meadows of my heart
and keeps it warm when we are apart
you give me hope with your feelings so real
and slowly life’s joys begin to reveal

I have my temperaments, sometimes up, sometimes down
I will try to smile always though at times I may frown
you must know that a possession you are not, but you are a goal
you are my love, my life, you are joy to my soul

If it is just within the hour that I am condemned to die
I will smile with the thoughts of you, and only you, the reason why

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A Century Of Rainy Days

Today is the 100th day. And it rained like hell. As it is the 100th day, it would be my last day of mourning, and from tomorrow I should stay happy (I hope).

Coincidentally, a year ago today, Gee and I left for Perhentian for one of my best dive trips. We had Katakpink, Rj Ena, Nafi and some of the other guys joining us on this trip.

Gee and I at the Bentong Petronas

I just want to be happy after this. I just want to have some kind of hope in life. I just want to have someone to look forward to being with, to wake up with, and to look at before I fall asleep. I just want someone whom to me would mean everything, and vice-versa.

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Questions On My Mind

A chapter slowly closes on me, the curtains start to fall
I try hard to inch forward, behind me I leave them all
The weather is sunny yet the waves are restless in my heart
I wonder if the path ahead is clear or will I suffer another cut

I want so much to move forward but I pause before I even start
I have this love in my heart but it strikes me like a dart
The river meanders beautifully but it is where my life flows out
This mind gets confused more as I try to turn about

There is so much love in my heart to give
There is so much in this life for me to live

I want to hold my love as her head lies on my arm
I want to be the one who protects her from every kind of harm
But each time when the night comes it is cruel, cold and empty
Which is why I want to move forward so there’s someone loving me

I want to sail away, be bold, and brave the world
I want to skim the waves, with one heading and make the sails unfurl
But the horizon I see is flat, not round, and beyond it I cannot see
And I always fear at the end of it is a chasm that will swallow me

I begin to drown even on dry land, like a bat that is blind during the day
Only my fingers are seen to breach the surface, I hope you can pull me away

You know who you are…you know who you are to me…

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Over The Rainbow

To that person out there, I’m flying over the rainbow…

Thank you.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There’s a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can’t I?
Some day I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can’t I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can’t I?

Pretty rainbow

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100 Days

When the Soviet Air Force shot down a Korean Airlines Boeing 747 back in 1983, the Soviet authorities downplayed the tragedy knowing that in 90 days, the human mind would forget. And despite the late President Ronald Reagan’s attempts to get the UN Security Council to hit out at the Soviets, after 90 days no one really cared and the tragedy never made it to the frontpage of the dailies anymore.

I passed by Hutan Melintang yesterday on my way to Sitiawan, and it invoked certain painful memory. As I sped towards Lekir, I calculated mentally and it had been 98 days or exactly 14 weeks since that painful episode. On my way back, I made it a point to stop at Hutan Melintang by visiting a distant relative. I looked at the road leading to the jetty, and although my heart did not sink as it would have, there was still that gut-wrenching pain somewhat.

Tomorrow, it would be 100 days since then; and any traditional Javanese woman who had given birth on that fateful day would be cleansing herself in preparation for her first intercourse with the husband after a 3 months and 10 days confinement.

It is time for me to move on…hopefully.

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More Sunsets

I took these at PD’s 4th and 1st mile:


It was drizzling

Then…much later…

It was a good trip…

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My Song For You

Driving isn’t the same anymore. That pretty face of Hannah Yeoh no longer decorates the sides of the roads in Subang Jaya now that she is a state assemblywoman for Subang Jaya. The DAP, Gerakan and PKR posters, banners etc have all disappeared, only the ones put up by the MCA and UMNO are still there. I guess they’ll do it at the 11th hour of the 14-day period…as usual leaving things until late. Someone once equate procrastination to masturbating – because you feel nice about it until you’ve f***ed yourself.

I feel like going to a karaoke joint but Forlorn Soldier’s not around. He’s gone overseas as usual. Last night an old song played in my head…a very sad song. I’ve sung this song before and back in mid December I sang this song…it just broke my heart. Even as I type this, while listening to the song, I feel so melancholic and tears well in my eyes.

Anyway, here it is, Hasnol’s Laguku Untuk Mu (My Song For You):

Kehadiran membawa seribu erti
Terasa bagaikan suatu mimpi
Indah mahligai yang kita bina
Impian kini terlaksana sudah

Tiada ku terlintas akan terjadi
Kita kan terpisah jua akhirnya
Sejenak ku terfikir segala
Oh keindahan bersamamu

( 1 )
Kembalilah kasih kepada diriku
Hidupku sepi tanpa kehadiranmu
Dengar rayuanku jeritan batinku
Masih dahagakan kemesraanmu
Hanya kau yang ku cinta tiada kedua
Usah biar ku menderita

Setelah kau pergi tiada kembali
Pilunya tak dapat ku menggambarkan
Abadi kasihku yang amat suci
Biarku yang dalam kegelapan

Dengarlah dendangan laguku untukmu
Suara hati lambang suci murni
Berat saatku dilamun rindu
Setelah lama dikau pergi oh…
Kasihku… oh…

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The One I Wanted To Vote For

Maimun Yusuf a.k.a Tok Mun

I would have voted for her – Maimun Yusuf a.k.a Tok Mun. This 89-year old lady raised her own money to fight a cause she believes in. In the picture above, she is seen proudly holding the flag of Terengganu and the only paper qualification she has is a participating certificate of civil society conference by state government long time ago. It means you don’t have to be from the Keneddy family to participate in democracy.

Tok Mun's house

See the way she lives. That is her house up there. Had she become the PM, people like Ibrahim Ali, Tengku Adnan Mansor, Samy Vellu, and myself included would have been a lot slimmer because she goes around on her bicycle only, thus nullifying the Opposition’s (depending which state you live in now) claims that it can bring down toll rates, fuel prices, and better healthcare facilities. With a lifestyle like hers, who needs fuel, toll and medicine? At 89 years of age, she is a living proof.

Tok Mun campaigning

She goes campaigning herself, there was hardly anyone to help her.

Tok Mun campaigning

Her election poster:

Her election poster

Sadly, although she managed to garner the support from over 600 voters, she has lost her deposit of RM10K. She spent a further RM4K in making posters, banners and flyers for herself, and for campaigning.

If you think this gutsy old lady deserves your support financially to get her back on her feet, you can visit her website.

Seriously, I admire this old lady for her courage, and her beliefs.