Going Without

I have been in a streak of foul mood lately, and I can attribute it to the increase in workload that includes reviewing all 16 over-500-pages-each manuals, the need to fulfill my offshore-visit KPI, prepare another two sets of those manuals for the possibility of two new-build rigs: and each set must be peculiar to each rig. We are still a one-rig operation so hiring an assistant is still out of the question. The management does not think that I would be needing help at this time. My offshore-visit KPI stands at 12 per annum (10 acceptable) and I have only done 5. Apart from that I have to prepare more safety documents in preparation for the rig-down, the sailing from Sabah to offshore Terengganu, the rig-up and the pre-spud. In July I will be doing the same documents for our rig move from one field to another.

What does all the above mean? Lesser time spent with the kids, and definitely hardly any time to go diving. And for those who know me, I’ll be increasingly cranky with each week that I do not dive.

I have initially planned to go diving this weekend as it would be the only weekend available left for me to go diving for at least another month. However, due to company activities and also to my step-son’s sports day, the wife is unable to join me. Not a big deal? For me it is.

Our first dive together as buddies at Tukun Laut, Perhentian – August 2009

Ever since she completed her Open Water Diver and Adventure Deep Diver courses, I have never gone on a dive trip without her; and I have only had her as my dive buddy. What is more enjoyable than having your wife as your dive buddy? Furthermore, she has now become my spotter for me to shoot underwater subjects, and she is a good spotter.

I have thought about it. It would be so difficult for me to go diving alone. I imagined myself diving at the spots we always frequent and I know it would be so different if I were to be there without her, and it is always during those safety stops that I would look at her and she would give me that meow smile and I’d pinch her cheeks. I know she wants me to go, so I could decompress; but the thought of driving alone without her, diving without her…drags me down even further. But if I don’t go, I’d probably be crankier – or not; therefore, I would rather go with her than to go without.

I guess I’ll have to learn to be more patient, and plan another trip hopefully next month if I could, and do that trip with her. She’s my life buddy. So, being with her is worth the wait. Much like the words in Bobby Tinsley’s song:

livin in a world on my own
suddenly won’t do
’cause I found the other half of my heart
when I found you

My dive buddy with a turtle in Sipadan – 22nd March 2011