I Cannot Write Funny Stuff

But I would like to have Schrödinger’s cat. Or something similar.

Maybe a Schrödinger’s 250-gram-Medium-Well-Tenderloin-Steak. As in the case of the Schrödinger’s cat this would be an imaginary steak that I would put onto a plate for my dinner. If I feel full after doing that, then the steak would have been eaten. If I still feel hungry, then it would mean that the steak is still on the plate, untouched. Okay, let’s stop talking about quantum mechanics for a while. I actually feel hungry right now and I blame it on El Nino. It has caused the weather to be very hot that I have been drinking a lot and without the mood to eat anything. Now, at almost midnight, I feel very hungry.

Wifey tagged me early today after she was tagged by her friend, DNAS. The rules of this tag is as follows:

o Write five (5) interesting facts about the person who gave you this award.
o Jot down ten (10) interesting facts about yourself or your hobbies.
o Pick your ten (10 or less) most deserving recipients and describe them.
o Leave a comment on the recipients’ blog to tell them they’ve been tagged.
o Paste the award badge in your sidebar. (This I cannot do. I am NOT on Blogspot.)
o Have fun

This was what Wifey wrote about me:

The Diver – aka John F Seademon, aka The Demon, aka my beloved hubby. Fresh out of my divorce, I bumped into his blog, and it was the first time that I actually CRIED reading some guy’s blog. Cheh. He’s an excellent writer, funny and witty and ridiculously smart. I envy him. And he has a memory of an elephant.

Part One – The 5 Interesting Things About Wifey

1. She’s a superb cook. Cooking is a therapy for her. A disaster for me. I will always find it difficult to resist eating her cooking because of two reasons: a) they are always good, 2) she’d sulk if I didn’t touch her cooking.

2. She writes very well. I always tell her that she writes better than I do, but she would always insist that it is the other way round. Her writings are much more articulated than mine are. I may have lots of ideas to pen, but when it comes to actually writing them, Wifey beats me hands down.

3. She’s a “brand” person…besides being a “branding” person. She knows her brands. I only know Brand’s Essence of Chicken.

4. When I first dated her, she was known as an anti-outdoorsey. You will never catch her doing stuff outside. When we first planned to go to an island back in May 2008, she would whine about the fact that she hated the sea, and that the sea would spoil her hair. When I came back from my first dive of the trip, she was missing, and there was no way I could go back to the room.

Guess where she went?

Snorkeling.

10 months later she did her first scuba dive.

5. Whenever the alarm goes off in the morning, she put it on snooze, turn to face me, and hug me in her sleep. We’d always be late for work.

Part Two – 10 Interesting Facts About Me

How can anything be interesting about me?

1. I started this blog so that it could be a journal for my dive trips. I write more on other things than I actually do on diving.

2. I was trained to kill, but I can cry watching America’s Got Talent. Crap!

3. I write better when I am sitting on the porcelain throne. As crap gets dumped, more crap gets churned out inside my head.

4. Since I started working, I have worked in an airline, the air force, the security industry, the telecommunications sector, underwater, and as at present, the oil and gas industry.

5. I like to read anything that has to do with history, current affairs, space exploration…basically anything non-fiction that has to do with those mentioned topics.

6. I have been to the North Pole back in 1998.

7. I was the first person to organise and perform a BASE-jump in Malaysia.

8. I still cannot believe I am married to Wifey. She had the hots for my father when I got to know of her.

9. I have a nickname for each of my children given based on some weird thing or event.

10. I love to drive fast. Period.

Part 3 – And The Award Goes To:

1. Wifey – the rule did not say that I cannot tag the person who tagged me. But I love this woman very much. (Kena bodek…malam-malam nak pakai, bhai!)

2. Aiz – I met her the first time during Burger Night. She may be the ultimate drama queen (aren’t all Srikandis are?) but I love hr blog.

3. DNAS – Minah yang seemingly garang except when she’s baking cupcakes. It’s hard to believe that she is actually in the IT-sector.

4. Mat Gebu – this mysterious person, whom I . through deductive reasoning, think lives somewhere in Johor, and lives to cook. He seems to be a very good cook, a very creative person, and is the source of my midnight hunger pangs. I would love to meet this guy.

5. Mocha – a dive buddy of mine who is now on his final leg of his tour in the army.

So guys, please copy this image and put it on your side bar.