One Full Circle – Again

Some of you might remember that my relationship with my family hasn’t been great since 3 years ago, and some even asked me here on this blog to defend myself, and explain especially to my parents about what was actually causing the rift. My standard answer would be, “It’s okay. One day they will know the truth. The truth will one day prevail.

And every time I have a fall out with them, it would take 3 years before the circle comes to a complete round. And this time it has. It was just after my 41st birthday that my parents and I stopped talking to each other, and shortly after my 44th, I was having tea with my father again. And not only that, my wife sat next to my mother and watched badminton on ASTRO together.

And apparently, and with a big thank you to my younger sister who finally spoke out, my parents found out the truth about my younger brother and I, the former had to go through the same thing as I a year or so after I did. Luckily, my younger brother and I stuck together through it all, supported by our respective wife, and children.

Two nights ago, we went to my parents’ place again to celebrate my younger sister’s birthday. And this time, my parents and I reminisced about the years when I was still little, recalling some incidents that made us all laugh, and some that made us smile in silence. And my wife gained a mother-in-law that night, with my mother taking her on a tour of their new house, even to the master bedroom and my father’s newly-built study.

I know this year, my wife will finally get her wish – to be able to spend Aidil Fitri with her in-laws; her children will finally get to know of their grandparents who do not live in Batu Pahat; and we would all be able to take a family portrait – parents, children, grandparents, great-grandparents, grand uncles and grand aunts, cousins, siblings, step-siblings, and nephew.

Earlier today, my younger sister sent me a text message that reads:

“By the way, I forgot to tell you. I’m glad you went to see Ayah the other night. He’s been missing you and Joe (my younger brother) a lot. Always talking about you both as children. He’s talking a lot about not being around much longer so it;s good if we can make it good for him in his last years.”

This reminds me a lot about a posting that I had made about a book that I had read two years ago, that was written by the late Dr Randy Pausch about how family comes first in any case at all.

I hope that, in this twilight years of mine, and of my father’s, this full circle will finally come to a full stop.

Because we are a family again.

The family, June 2007
The family in June 2007 – before the fallout some two weeks later.

15 Replies to “One Full Circle – Again”

  1. i always got misunderstanding with dad… since i was little. i even got revenge in my heart when i was a kid that one day i will do what he did to me at that time.

    i hate when he is tired and can easily throw tantrum at us. it’s not that bad but it’s hurt when the thing is done by your own father.

    it has gap between me and dad… even though we try to have a conversation, it’s like there’s a barricade. i don’t know… mom always understand me completely. luckily.. or else, i might live somewhere else and visiting them on hari raya only 😦

    1. Bro, I know what you mean and how you feel. I was in that position too, being the whipping boy everytime something goes wrong, even if I never witnessed any of whatever happened. Trust me, I still feel that gap even now.

  2. The night when we visited them after the buka puasa at Hilton, while your parents were reminiscing about the old days I felt so so so so happy for all of you guys. You guys are even closer than members of my family in that sense, we very rarely reminisce about the good ole days!! I’m very happy for you Sayang. You have a wonderful family.

    1. Wahlau…I’m sure you still remember what it was like 3 years ago, how my blog postings looked like. Thanks for being “there” which really is here on this blog.

  3. I just read in another blog, Allah berfirman: (lebih kurang) :…selepas setiap kepayahan mesti datang kemudahan..” Alhamdulillah, semoga ikatan kekeluargaan kekal abadi!

    1. Thanks sis. All the while masa tengah teruk tak berduit because of the financial crisis dulu I selalu pegang pada ad-Dhuhaa 4:93

  4. *sobs*

    beautiful story. i feel that i owe it to my son to let bygone be bygone with my parents. so, that he’ll know no matter what happen, love continues in the family.

  5. alamak bro… gua terus sedih rindu ja and our parents..
    nak balikkkk.. tapi gua dendang perantau raya kali ni. uwaaaaaaa!

    Syukur Alhamdulillah for you guys.

    1. Thanks bro. Lu naik kapal mana dan ke mana? Gua mungkin lepas raya baru naik kapal la…sebab nak rig up. October memang guarantee offshore la sebab audit dengan PCSB. Take care and keep in touch

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