If you remember Ustazah Corporal Z, she had a boss, Captain Ustaz R, a bachelor back then. Captain R was one of my fishing buddies. Others included Corporal Hashim (retired as a Warrant Officer), the late Corporal Lee Boon Cheng, the late Corporal Budin Lahom, Corporal Abdul Karim Aziz (retired a Flight Sergeant), Sergeant Zakaria Din (retired a Warrant Officer) and Sergeant Aziz “Thursday Night Friday” Din (retired as a Sergeant).

Anyway, Captain R had long suspected that the junior ranks had been watching porn videos inside their barracks during weekends and asked me, as the adjutant of the HQ, for my opinion. I told him to let them be since they couldn’t get a weekend pass to go home to their family. Being a man of religion and a bachelor, he was curious about porn videos.

So, I arranged with the boys for a special screening for Captain R the following weekend. He was like all so eager. We let him sit right in front of the TV and the boys switched on the video player. On the screen showed dancers from the Solid Gold Dancers do their routine, and Captain R asked:

“Eh, ni cerita apa?” (Eh, what story is this?)

Me: “Kejap je ni. Lepas ni start la.” (This scene is only for a while. Porn movie will start after this)

The dancers kept dancing for a good 15 minutes more before football started.

Captain R: “Eh, bola pulak? Kata cerita blue!” (Eh, football? I thought this is supposed to be a porn video?)

Corporal Karim: “Lepas ni tuan. Ini decoy takut orang jumpa tape.” (It’s after this, sir. This is a decoy in case someone finds this tape).

In the end, he sat there and watched until the tape finished playing, and no porn was shown, and we had the last laugh that night.

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