SeaDemon Says

I got up this morning feeling fine, put on the sphygomomanometer’s cuff around my arm and happily pumped away.

141/96.

Bugger.

Killjoy!

What you are looking at is Major Captain Corporal Choy‘s Fusiform Aneurysm on his right cerebral.

It is a time bomb. There is also a warning leak detected in the area. 1/3 patients of this form of aneurysm die in their sleep.

Choy has been admitted into a medical center and I plan to visit him later in the evening after his Middle Cerebral Angiogram.

Take care, bro, and good luck.

Your Japanese Name Is…

Shino Takahashi

This is me trying to cheer myself up while I sit here alone…slipping between conscious and unconsciousness.

I must say this must be the best place to CHOW DOWN (pun intended).

At least if I die, I die laughing.

Start eating it with Bismillah

I woke up this morning slightly disorientated. My body feels like it has been hit by a truck. Emma Sams, to whom I relate my condition over YM quickly jested that this wouldn’t be the first time that I have felt like this. Back in 1996, I skydived in Taman Melawati and got hit by a truck…literally..in one of those bizarre things that could happen to a skydiver.

Anyway, despite a good night’s sleep courtesy of a tablet called Lexotan, and an additional tablet of PCM (Bakawali, don’t be angry with me if you think that would have contributed to me being overdosed with relaxant), I woke up to a blood pressure of 126/94 with a pulse of 76. Last night…well, let me talk about when I was with Mahal Ko when she attended a business meeting with me. She conducted herself very well during the meeting and am very proud of her. No interjections, nothing, and gave her opinions when asked for. Well, she’s a professional. Anyway, she helped me check my BP and it was down to 127/77. VERY NORMAL for a person of my age and I was happy thinking I had licked this hypertensive streak. Bakawali is right. I need my infusion of Mahal Ko on a daily basis. She calms me down.

The problem only began when I got home last night. To my wife, I know you are reading this and so I am going to write about this anyway. No thank you for your sarcasms and taunts, and yes, when I was inside the toilet I heard you were the one who said, “Ayah dah mati” to Farhan. Otherwise, Farhan himself could not have come out with such suggestive remarks. After all that was what you told Alim about his father when his father is still alive. And when you asked me to sleep on the floor, that was the greatest insult any wife could give to the husband.

Therefore, no thanks to you also, my wife, my blood pressure immediately shot up to 164/101, and after relaxing for 10 minutes, 152/100. I could not lift my chin up because I felt like my neck was going to break into two halves as I walked to get the Lexotan. I thought I wouldn’t need it, but I had to take it. After almost an hour, with no relief felt, I took PCM 250mg. Less than an hour later I was out cold.

Thus, this sleeping dog lay…on its own bed.

Damn it!

I slept well last night albeit a 6-hour sleep. I got up, put on the sphygomomanometer (did I get the spelling correct?), cuffed the right arm, pumped air until it reached 220mm Hg and released.

Guess what the reading was?

147/97 and pulse was 82

And do you know what’s ironic?

Lite FM was playing Bee Gees’ “Tragedy”

Sick!

“Anggota Mertak Tentera Brunei sedang mengaplikasikan konsep TFK kepada senjata mortar”

Dalam usaha memperkasakan lagi Tentera Darat, satu silibus baru akan diperkenalkan kepada para pegawai dan anggota Tentera Darat.

Silibus tersebut yang diberi nama Total Forces Knowledge atau singkatannya TFK akan diperkenalkan secepat mungkin untuk menggantikan modul peperangan konvensyenal atau CW.

Menurut Panglima Briged Organisasi – Latihan Angkatan Medan – Pengkhususan Asas(BO LAM PA), satu modul khusus akan diperkenalkan kepada para pegawai mengenai pengunaan komputer dalam peperangan siber. Modul tersebut yang akan diletakkan sebagai salah satu modul Diploma TFK dikenali sebagai Powerful Computer Command atau PCC, dan para pegawai dibenarkan menggunakan singkatan Dip. in TFK/PCC.

Beberapa orang pegawai kanan akan menjalani latihan penyesuaian dengan Angkatan Darat Korea Selatan di Korean National Nano-Computer Command Bureau (KNNCCB) yang terletak 48 kilometer ke selatan Incheon.

Pada tahun hadapan, satu latihan bersama dengan pasukan sahabat dari luar negara akan diadakan untuk menguji keberkesanan TFK/PCC. Latihan tersebut yang akan disertai bersama oleh tentera darat dari Jepun, India, Australia, Oman, Brunei dan Indonesia akan dikenali sebagai Latihan Asas Negara Jepun India Australia Oman Brunei Indonesia atau lebih dikenali dengan singkatannya LAN JIAO BIN.

Pasukan Merah yang akan bertindak sebagai musuh akan dianggotai oleh sebuah pasukan bersama yang dikenali sebagai Commando Hierarchy External Enemy – Pasukan Eksternal Komando atau CHEE PEK. Pasukan pertahanan atau Pasukan Biru dikenali sebagai Anti Pasukan Eksternal Komando atau APEK dan akan dibantu oleh sebuah bateri pasukan artileri yang akan memintas kedudukan musuh, dikenali sebagai Command International Battery Artillery Integrated (CIBAI). Manakala sebuah pasukan perubatan ketenteraan dari Korea Selatan akan ditempatkan di kawasan latihan. Pasukan ini dikenali sebagai Army Hospital – Korean Unit Assistance atau AH KUA.

Menurut Panglima BO LAM PA, latihan ini adalah untuk menunjukkan dengan latihan TFK/PCC yang berkesan, peperangan boleh dimenangi hanya dengan menggunakan tangan tanpa senjata khusus.

So what kind of a woman have you married?

If she gives you the respect, trust, love and smile, then she is a good wife. Protect and lover her. But if she backstabs you, treats you like one of the pillars inside your house, bad mouths you to your family and also your friends (not just hers, okay?), then you better give her the boot.

Why am I writing this, you may ask?

A business friend of mine sent me a message saying he is bored this weekend and would like to chill, and reading my blog is not his idea of chilling for the weekend. Prior to having his number given to my wife, he didn’t even know the existence of my blog and it has been up for two years now. So it goes to show that not only does she bad-mouth me to my family (and until now she hasn’t confessed that she showed my blog to my parents and siblings), but also to MY friends. So this is very much like throwing sand into my rice bowl.

When is she going to realise that every single contraindicative action is only making me like the Moon is to Earth now? Only that the moon is moving away from us at a rate of 3.8cm per year.

My rate of escaping gravitational orbit is a lot faster than that. What more with catalysts.

I have been upset. It has not been a good month for me. There isn’t a moment that I have not thought about death and how to go about achieving it. Only two things stop me. My kids, and my thoughts of her. No matter how close to impossible it seems as she puts it. Everytime I sit behind the wheel of my car, especially that Saga, I reason with myself that I should make it back home alive.

Today is no different. After being back-stabbed by trusted ones like Caesar was a millenium ago, I received news about Choy a.k.a Metalized‘s current health condition. He is suffering from cerebral aneurysm, which can be life threatening. You can read about it in his latest blog posting.

Damn this. I have had the worst birthday, the worst month in terms of emotional rollercoaster ride, shunned by my whole family because of my pursuit of happiness despite someone’s uncertainty, and now, a good friend whom I have grown fond of, is facing a real uncertainty in life.

How can life be so f***ed up? How much worse can it get? Is there anymore? Anything more that is worse than this? Give it to me. Why can’t I die instead? Everyone says I am a bad person, so take me, and end the miseries of others. My wife says she is rich, so let her take care of the kids. After all, my journey forward after having gone through the steps is still filled with uncertainties…so take me. Why take Choy who is just at the peak of his life? At least I only have someone I can look at but still don’t know if I can hold her for good.

I’m swimming all alone in a pool of darkness
and I feel like darkness is slowly pulling me under
I yell for help but no one is there to hear it
I begin to see the water at eye level
and I kick and flail
fighting to stay above the darkness
But the darkness won’t let go of its hold on me
and I slowly begin to give in
to the feeling that lies below the water line
the waters starts to fill my lungs
the lungs that once held so much life
yet now they allow the murky water to replace that
I know that this path doesn’t lead to happiness
But why doesn’t someone grab my hand
pull me from darkness’s grasp?
because no one knows I stand at the boundary
the boundary between light and dark
so I give in to the thing that holds me
All of the strength and all of the courage
that I once held in my heart
can’t save me from the water
So I slowly slip below the world of conscientiousness
undetected by the occupants of that world
I don’t want to fight anymore
I’ve given into darkness

This mortal coil…will end in tears.