Koreking The Past – Part 2: Are You Lesser Muslim Or Lesser Christian?

I posted this on February 13th 2007. I’m putting this back up as some people would like to have a read.

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This is a spin-off from my previous posting about DOGS IN ISLAM, where I am trying to point out how unIslamic Muslims have become by not trusting Allah’s Holy Quran but instead take the words of the scholars as if they’re gods.

Over a year ago I wrote in an UMNO forum in response to a member saying that women must cover up their hair. Of course I responded in the negative and challenged the person to show me where in the al-Quran does it say so, he never replied.

Before I begin, let me quote a verse from the Holy Quran in the chapter called THE PROPHETS (al-Anbiyaa’)21:24. Allah said:

“Have they found gods besides Him (Allah)? Say, “Show us your proofs. This Quran is my proof,it covers the present and the past.” Indeed most of them fail to recognise the truth, this is why they turn away.”

I don’t know how Islamic can one be by wearing or not wearing the tudung or hijjab. I don’t even know if it is Islamic to do that. The Quran only tells women to cover their breasts and to pull their outer garments over them. And for 1000 years or more, scholars are still debating whether Muslim women should cover their hair.

However, in the Bible, there is a clear order for women to cover their hair and their heads especially during prayer. Here is the reference:

Corinthians 11:5-6

“And every women who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonours her head – it is just as though as her head was shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgraced for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head.”

This reminds me of a few incidents where school children had had their hair cut by religious teachers, or their tudung cut shorter for not wearing the long tudung sometime last year (NST – 25th Feb 2006). A school in Bukit Mertajam even withdrew their participation in a netball competition because their players were not wearing tudung.

Sheer blatant stupidity and ignorance on the part of the teachers. 30 years ago when I was schooling I never hear of such nonsense. it seems that deviationist Islam has rooted itself firmly within the minds of these teachers, and they abide by the words of their scholars without questioning the facts.

And what about Muslim men being told that it is the sunnah (tradition of the Prophet) to wear turban, have beard etc? They say that men must (bordering divinely compulsory) to wear turban and have beard like the Prophet, and do other things that the Prophet used to do. This brings me to another case of three boys who were expelled from school because the students were adamant to wear turban to school. A PAS lawyer represented them and told the court that WEARING THE TURBAN IS AN INTEGRAL PART OF ISLAM.

Another narrow minded bastard who is bent on misguiding Muslims, if you ask me. No where in the Holy Quran is mentioned about the wearing of the turban and robes and growing beards etc. However, in the Bible, those are mentioned as the accoutrements of the priests.

Exodus 28:4

“These are the garments they are to make: a breastpiece, an ephod, a woven tunic, a turban and a sash. They are to make these sacred garments for your brother Aaron and his sons, so they may serve Me as priests.”

Leviathan 21:5

“Priests must not shave their heads or shave off the edges of their beards or cut their bodies.”

Leviathan 19:27

“Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.”

So, there you have it. “Defenders” of the faith (scholars’ faith) will say of course it is not mentioned in the Holy Quran. It is the traditions (sunnah) of the Holy Prophet!

So why do they go to work in cars instead of camel-backs?

Let me just quote you from the Holy Quran again to underscore what I have been saying about the lies attributed to Allah and Muhammad conjured up by the so-called faithfuls for over a millenium:

THE FAMILY IMRAAN (Ali Imraan) 3:78

Some of them even twist their tongues to simulate the scripture, to make you think that it is from the scripture when it is not from the scripture, and claim that it is from God, when it is not from God. They invent lies and attribute them to God, knowingly.”

So if you are a woman and you are not wearing tudung, and if you are a man and you do not have a beard or wear turban and robe, then let it be known that you are not unIslamic; you are in fact very unChristian.

Koreking The Past – Part 1B: Tudung…Wajib Atau Tidak?

Only one response came from one of the Ketua Cawangans. As usual, responses lack reference.

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— In pju-online@yahoogroups.com, Ainul Adzellie
wrote:
> Setuju dengan pendapat salam madu. Malah, ketika meniti
siratulmustakim, setiap wanita akan meniti rambutnya yang tidak
ditutup dan dibelah rambutnya kepada tujuh.
> Menutup aurah adalah WAJIB seperti juga SEMBAHYANG..kadang-hadang
kita sebagai manusia ni leka..banyak lagi dosa besar lain kita
buat …nauzubillah…NO FURTHER COMMENT….

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My response:

Well, that’s your opinion. About titian siratulmustaqim, I have
heard various versions of it. Even men have to walk the 7 helai
rambut. Now, for a person like me, or Dato’ KB, that’s gonna be a
problem. Although KB has more hair than I do. Probably Hisham worse la.
On the other hand his jambatan maybe shorter in length.

As you say, menutup aurah is wajib. I do not dispute that. But if
you read this thread carefully, all I’m asking is…is RAMBUT part
of a WOMAN’s aurah?

So please answer that with your nas. I’ve given mine. Like I said, I
don’t believe in Taqlid, I believe in Ittiba’. And I don’t really
believe in the mazhabs either if I believe in Ittiba’.

Err..do you know what they mean?

God wants spiritual fruits; not religious nuts!

There is nothing in Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim that says women
who do not cover their hair will have to walk on their hair which
has been spliced into seven splices as the Siratul Mustaqim.

The only hadiths that were there pertaining to hair were of women
who oil the husband’s hair will be spared hellfire and will cross
the Siratul Mustaqim with easeness. The other one was about the
wearing of wigs and dyeing of hair. The Prophet SAW cursed those who
wear wig or have their hair lengthened, but wants Muslims to dye
their hair because Jews and Christians don’t do it. That’s a cue for
you Darul.

All I’ve heard about Titian Siratul Mustaqim is it’s breadth is the
equivalent to seven splices of hair, and it doesn’t matter who, or
what gender crosses it, the size will remain the same.

That’s what I’ve been saying about Taqlid dan Ittiba’…and of
Mazhab.

LOOKING BUT NOT SEEING AND READING BUT NOT UNDERSTANDING ARE THE
VIRTUES OF ASSHOLES

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Response from a Syariah Lawyer:

Tak Wajib. Actually terpulang kepada mana school of thought yg
mentafsirkan perkara ini, Apa yg saya tahu ada pandangan mengatakan
bahawa memakai tudung itu in actual fact means meliputi diri seseorang
dengan akhlak yang sempurna/baik menurut hukum-hukum allah. This
actually is a better translation sebab memkai tudung itu hanya fizikal
dan tak da kena mengena dengan baik buruk seorang mahupun samada
seoarang itu a good muslim or not.

Koreking The Past – Part 1A: Tudung…Wajib Atau Tidak?

A few moments after that posting was put up, I received a text message condemning me, calling me kufur. Such a big word from someone who doesn’t know what it actually means. So I posted my response as below:

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Ada hamba Allah hantar SMS suruh saya mengucap dan beritahu semua
orang di PJU Online bahawa saya melakukan kesilapan yang amat besar
dan saya mesti kata bahawa bertudung itu wajib. Dan juga bahawa
aurat wanita itu adalah keseluruhan kecuali muka dan tapak tangan,
dan ada yang kata tapak kaki juga.

Sepertimana yang saya katakan tadi, saya ni tak suka taqlid,
sebaliknya saya suka ittiba’.

Saya tetap dengan pendirian saya.

Kenapa saya kata begitu?

Shaikh Muhyiddin Ibnu al-Arabi al-Andalusi dalam al-Futuhat al-
Makkiah Jilid 1 muka 521 menyebut: “Sebahagian ulama berkata
keseluruhan tubuh seorang wanita itu adalah aurat kecuali muka dan
dua tapak tangan. Ada pula ulama mengatakan demiian dengan tambahan
bahawa tapak kakinya tidak termasuk aurat. Adapun mazhab kami, aurat
pada perempuan hanyalah dua kemaluannya sebagaimana Allah
berfirman: “Mulailah mereka menutup atas kedua-dua mereka dengan
daun dari syurga (al-A’raf 22).”

PAS pernah mengatakan bahawa pendapat ini tidak boleh dipakai sebab
mereka berkata Ibnu al-Arabi ini sebenarnya adalah seorang ahli Sufi
dan bukannya ulama’. Mereka menggelarkannya Ibnu Arabi dan jangan
confusekan dengan Ibnu al-Arabi seorang ahli feqah, ahli hadith dan
ahli tafsir Mazhab Maliki.

PAS juga kata bahawa apa saja yang datang dari Shah Waliullah ad-
Dahlawi sebagai dhaif sebab tak menepati dengan sebab perjuangan
mereka (ideologi). Sebab takrif ‘aib dan aurat ad-Dahlawi dalam
Hujjatul al-Balighah tidak bersependapat dengan PAS. Tapi apa jua
hujjah biarpun dikeluarkan oleh ulama paling best dalam dunia ni pun
kalau tak kena dengan diorang, semuanya ulama kena beli. Bila
Syeikhul Akbar al-Azhar beri kenyataan Malaysia negara Islam
terbaik, diorang kata Syeikh kena beli (bukan Sheikh Harun).

Jadi kita orang Islam janganlah berfikiran rigid dan one-tracked
seperti mereka.

Mereka juga menggunakan ayat al-Quran yang berbunyi, “Wahai
Nabi.Suruhlah isteri-isterimu dan anak-anakmu serta perempuan yang
beriman, supaya melabuhkan pakaiannya bagi menutupi seluruh tubuhnya
(semasa mereka keluar); cara demikian lebih sesuai untuk mereka
dikenal maka dengan itu mereka tidak diganggu. Dan Allah Maha
Pengampun lagi Maha Pengasihani (al-Ahzab 59).”

Kalau kita pergi pula kepada Asbabun Nuzul ayat ini kenapa ianya
diturunkan, ianya adalah kerana semasa zaman Jahilliyah, semuanya
memakai Jilbab dengan cara yang sama. Kalau kita pergi dari mula
surah ini, hingga ke ayat tersebut, macam-macam yang kita baca
mengenai larangan dari mencaci dan mencerca Rasulullah SAW dan
keluarganya. Maka arahan untuk menutup badan dengan Jilbab, adalah
untuk membezakan di antara wanita biasa, pelacur, hamba dan
sebagainya, dengan isteri-isteri Rasulullah SAW.

Orang Arab zaman dulu pakai tudung, macam orang Kristian atau Mother
Teresa pakai tudung…tudung kepala tapi nampak bidang dada. Lalu
Jilbab perlu ditarik sehingga melitupi bahagian tengkuk dan dada
yang nampak. Ingat…orang Arab dari dahulu hingga sekarang adalah
aktif dalam seks. Nafsu kuda. Jadi penggunaan Jilbab untuk menutup
bahagian-bahagian tersebut adalah untuk menjaga maruah dan status
mereka sebagai isteri-isteri dan anak-anak Rasulullah SAW. Ianya
lebih kepada untuk tidak membenarkan gangguan para lelaki. Pandangan
ini dipersetujui oleh Ibnu Mas’ud, Ubaydah, Qatadah, al-Hassan al-
Basri, Said bin Jubaiyr, Ibrahim an-Nakha’i, Ata’ al-Khurasani dan
lain-lain.

Maka adakah perlu kita salahkan orang perempuan sekiranya mereka
dirogol sebab tidak memakai jubah atau tudung? Ingat tak kisah anak
dara yang dirogol dan diliwat dalam bas di Klang dua tiga tahun
dulu? Dia memakai tudung. Jadi soal keimanan dan ketahanannya adalah
terpulang kepada masing-masing.

Berbalik kepada soal Jilbab ni, yang mengatakan kena tutup hingga
nampak mata ada dua orang sahaja. PertamaAli Ibni Abi Talhah kata
yang Ibn Abbas kata; Kedua, Muhammad bin Sirin kata Ubaydah as-
Salmani kata.

Masalah yang kita hadapi pada hari ini ialah disebabkan perbalahan
dan perbezaan (khilaf) di antara ulama dan pendapat ahli tafsir yang
sarih (kabur). Dalam Bidayatul Mujtahid Volume 1 Page 114, Imam Ibnu
Rusyd menyebutkan: “Para ulama keseluruhannya telah ittifak
(sepakat) mengatakan bahawa menutup aurat itu satu kewajipan yang
mutlak, tetapi mereka berselisih faham tentang penutupan itu adakah
ia merupakan satu syarat yang terkandung di dalam beberapa syarat
sah sembahyang ataupun tidak. Imam Maliki kata tutup aurat itu
sebahagian amalan sunat bersembahyang. Imam Hanafi dan Syafie kata
amalan fardhu dalam bersembahyang. Sebab itulah mereka selalu
bercanggah mengenai surah al-A’raf ayat 31 yang bermaksud: “Wahai
anak-anak Adam pakailah perhiasan (az-ninah) kamu pada setiap kali
ke masjid.”

Adakah suruhan Allah ini menjadikan memakai perhiasan itu wajib atau
sunat? Imam Assudi kata maksud Az-Ninah itu ialah pakaian yang
menutup aurat (baca balik jenis pakaian kedua dalam surah al-A’raf
ayat 26). Riwayat daripada Abu Hanifah pula kata aurat itu terbahagi
kepada dua iaitu Aurat Mughallazah (Berat) dan Aurat Mukhaffah
(Ringan). Aurat Mughallazah tu lah qubul dan dubur. Aurat Mukhaffah
tu selain dari itu.

Pilihlah masing-masing.

Saya pilih jalan Ittiba’.

Sesungguhnya Allahua’lam.

Koreking The Past – Part 1: Tudung…Wajib Atau Tidak?

Back in February 2004, some quarters in my UMNO division harped on the issue of tudung and asked the Ketua Wanita and Ketua Puteri to wear tudung. I challenged the Chairman of Religious Bureau to debate on the matter. Copying and pasting:

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Written by the Chairman:

— In pju-online@yahoogroups.com, salam madu wrote:
> asl,respon kpd pemakaian tudung.saya katakan wajib kerana terdapat
dalil yg mengatakan aurat seorang perempuan itu adalah seluruh tubuh
badannya kecuali muka dan tapak tangan dan lelaki antara bawah pusat
hingga kelutut.malah dalam Al-Quran terdapat ayat yg menerangkan
tentang aurat wanita.Jadi apabila suatu perintah(wahyu) itu datang
daripada Allah maka hukumnya wajib.dan janganlah kita membincangkan
apa yang wajib bagi kita kerana dikhuatiri akan memesongkan akidah.
> hari ini semua ulama mengutuk fatwa yg dikeluarkan oleh sheikh
ahmad Al-tantawi tentang isu pemakaian tudung di perancis.
>
> salam……perempuan yg tidak menutup auratnya semasa keluar
bekerja akan sentiasa berada didalam keadaan berdosa….dan kita yg
memandang juga berdosa(dosa kecil).
> Subhanallah.

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My response:

Itu yang diperbincangkan di sini. Kita tidak harus mengambil
semuanya berdasarkan face value. Apa yang telah saya berikan adalah
dalil-dalil yang merupakan ayat-ayat al-Quran. Malah tiadak ada
sebarang dalil yang mengatakan tidak memakai tudung itu haram
ataupun berdosa. Saya langsung tidak menyangkal atau menidakkan
sebarang ayat, malah saya membentangkan apa yang terdapat dalam al-
Quran.

Malah, apa yang saudara Bad keluarkan mengenai hadith yang
mengatakan aurat perempuan itu kesemuanya kecuali tapak tangan dan
muka sebenarnya tidak begitu tepat. Wanita diharamkan daripada
menutup muka dan kedua tapak tangannya sahaja. Itu adalah bahagian
bekerja. Malah diharamkan juga bagi lelaki yang menutup keseluruhan
badannya hingga tidak menampakkan bahagian tangannya, atau duduk
dengan menampakkan bahagian sulitnya. Itu dari Jabir dan hadith itu
Sahih Muslim.

Lain dari qubul dan dubur itu sebenarnya hanyalah pendapat ulamak.
Dan kita harus ingat bahawa Mazhab itu sebenarnya hanyalah pendapat
dan tafsiran seseorang imam, bukan sesuatu yang berdosa jika tidak
kita ikuti. Tidak ada satu nas pun yang mengatakan berdosanya umat
jika tidak memilih mazhab. Kalau berdosa kita tidak mengikut mazhab
Syafie, mengapa bila tunaikan haji dan umrah nak kena niat ikut
mazhab lain? Tidakkah itu menjadikan mazhab (pemikiran) Syafie itu
tidak sempurna?

Sepertimana yang saya katakan, terpulang kepada tafsiran masing-
masing imam. Imam Syafie terkenal dengan “strictness” iaitu biar tak
buat langsung jadi selamat (sebagai contoh bersentuhan di antara
lelaki dan wanita bukan muhrim membatalkan wuduk, walhal tiada nas
mengatakan begitu). Imam Hanafi pula lebih kepada cara-cara orang
Parsi, manakala guru kepada Imam Syafie sendiri, iaitu Imam Maliki
mengatakan bahawa wanita yang bersembahyang dengan kedua-dua buah
dadanya tidak ditutup maka sembahyangnya itu tetap sah, apatah lagi
jika dia bukan dalam keadaan bersembahyang.

Ayat 26 surah al-A’raf adalah ayat hakiki mengenai aurat. Ayat itu
menyebut mengenai tiga jenis pakaian manusia menurut Allah SWT.
Pertama: tutup qubul dan dubur, atau, Kedua: menutup keseluruhan
tubuh seperti burung sebagai perhiasan, atau, Ketiga: kesederhanaan,
kecergasan dan keadilan (libasataqwa).

Satu lagi ayat mengenai aurat hanyalah menyebut tentang aurat Adam
dan Hawa (al-A’raf 22), iaitu mereka menutup qubul dan dubur mereka
dengan daun pohon syurga. Tidak lebih dari itu. Sebab itu kita kena
fahami asal-usul makna aurat itu sendiri…iaitu sesuatu yang
mengaibkan, atau yang ditutup dalam keadaan mengejut dan malu. Maka
yang lazim ditutup sebab malu ialah qubul dan dubur.

Rasulullah SAW bersabda (hadith Sahih): Apabila seseorang dari kamu
mengahwini hambanya maka janganlah ia lihat pada auratnya.” Riwayat
yang lain mengatakan: “Maka janganlah kamu lihat kepada anggota yang
di bawah pusat dan di atas lutut.”

Muhammad SAW bersabda lagi: “Tidakkah engkau tahu bahawa paha itu
aurat?”

Tak ada siapa yang terpesong akidah di sini. Kalau saudara Bad
setuju dengan terpesongnya akidah sekiranya kita memperbincangkan
isu haram halal tudung maka kita dalam UMNO ini memang kufur
sepertimana yang diwar-warkan oleh PAS. Sebab para pemimpin wanita
kita, isteri-isteri pemimpin kita, termasuklah YB Dato’ Ketua
Bahagian, tidak memakai tudung dan berdosa besar kita tidak menegur
atau menyokong. Malah jalan kena tunduk.

Jika perempuan diarah menutup, maka arahan itu hanyalah arahan
mazhab berdasarkan pendapat ulama ataupun imam. Kalau kita nak ikut
bulat-bulat, maka haram kita menyertai UMNO sebab mengangkat orang
bukan Islam sebagai pembantu ataupun ketua kita. Kita tidak boleh
rigid apabila timbul isu agama. Disebabkan keadaan itulah maka Islam
kini menjadi salah satu agama yang paling dibenci dan enggan dianuti
oleh hamba-hamba Allah SWT yang masih belum Islam.

Itu belum lagi masuk isu seterusnya iaitu: BABI ITU ISLAM. ANJING
MASUK SYURGA, DAN ADA DOSA YANG SYAITAN TIDAK MAHU TERBABIT.

Dalam kita membincangkan hal ini, kita kena tahu sama ada kita ni
bertaqlid atau berittiba’.

Sebahagian besar kita bertaqlid.

Saya lebih suka berittiba’.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

Pak Lah Tidoq Balik

Ah...dah pi Sabah boleh lena sat
“Ah…dah pi Sabah dah…la boleh lena sat”

I wrote this on an UMNO online forum:

Lagi 4 hari, Anwar Ibrahim dah boleh bertanding dalam pilihanraya.

Hari tu Pak Lah pergi Sabah dan kena maki sebakul sebab orang Sabah rasa kena shortchange selepas memberi 100% kemenangan kepada BN, tapi dapat habih tinggi jawatan Timbalan Menteri.

Pak Lah kata dia perlukan masa untuk mempertimbangkan permintaan-permintaan tersebut. Masa dia ambil keputusan untuk kecilkan saiz kabinet, tak pulak dia perlu masa. Dua hari terus announce. Mana punya bahalol anak haram nasihatkan dia suruh kecilkan kabinet pun entah…tapi hakikatnya, Pak Lah tidak mampu berfikir secara logik. Buat apa nak kecilkan kabinet bila jawatan-jawatan tersebut boleh diisi oleh rakan-rakan seNEGARA kita dari Sabah dan Sarawak?

Bila dengar lebih 30 orang ahli parlimen dari Sabah nak lompat masuk PKR, baru sibuk nak ke sana….dalam begitu boleh lagi nak masa untuk fikir.

Pungkoq hang la Pak Lah! Hampeh!

Minggu depan Anwar dah boleh bertanding. Adalah mangkuk ayun yang akan letak kerusi untuk membenarkan Anwar bertanding dalam pilihanraya kecil Parlimen. Ingat UMNO kuat ke nak mengekang kemasukan Anwar ke dalam Parlimen dan melompatnya ahli-ahli parlimen Sabah?

Menang sahaja Anwar, ahli-ahli Parlimen ni semua lompat masuk PKR. MCA dan MIC akan join sama dalam Pakatan Rakyat sebab cina dan India masih marah kepada KERIS yang dihunus, dan kuil yang diruntuh oleh pemimpin UMNO yang dahulunya begitu angkuh dan tidak sensitif.

Kita sibuk nak cuci masjid nak relevan balik konon…walhal kita akan jadi pembangkang kini dan selamanya kalau Pak Lah masih perlukan masa untuk berfikir. Yang sibuk masih nak memperjuangkan ketuanan melayu akan sampai ke tua la layu!

Nak baik dari penyakit cancer, buang sel-sel cancer.

Pemilihan UMNO 2008 – Pilihlah Perubahan!

Kau, Perempuan

Perempuan

Pernah satu ketika
hidupmu persis nyanyian Suzanne Vega
luka walaupun namamu bukan Luka
namun perjalanan harianmu
menempuh neraka yang serupa

Kau harungi hidup
memberanikan diri
walaupun kekurangan conviction
melewati denai-denai kehidupan
mencari kebahagiaan

Matamu yang pada suatu ketika
bergenang dengan air
kini kian ceria
apabila kau mungkin telah menjumpai
Firdausi di dunia

Derai tawamu bak suria menyinar
Senyum manismu penyejuk kalbu
Sentuhanmu bagai menghidupkan sejuta saraf
Kasihmu menghidupkan jiwa yang telah lama mati

Cuma kau perlu dengar
Perempuan
Nasihat terbaik yang pernah diberikan
buat suku pertama tahun ini
“Lupakan sahaja si taukeh daging”

Amin!

0055 – 9 Minutes Later

Leaving you each time tortures my heart
It’s so difficult to be apart
Never have I imagined feeling as such
I love and miss you very much

Even heaven is hell without you

Life’s Surprises Isn’t All Great

The sky is crying

It is not the surprises in life that are so debilitating. The truly crushing force is being surprised that you’re surprised.

Sometimes I dread the surprises life has in store for me. I do not handle surprises well. Even as a kid, standing in the hallway watching the angry father choose the cane amongst canes standing in that Sarawak vase, I used to expect to be hit with the worse of the lot, and I was always right…it would be that tongkat kayu tas covered in manik Sarawak that would be used…and I was always resigning to my fate that I was in for a hell of a beating, and the night would be long…and painful.

Physical pain, I can take very well now. You can give me the most brutal of masseurs, I will sleep through the session…and snore. I can, and have, broken a leg, when two weeks later I would remove the cast, and go skydiving. I limped for almost two years after that, and still suffer from pain every now and then…I can take it all.

But emotional pain is something I do not handle very well. When I am hurt, I will immediately go on the defensive, quickly put on a front so to mask my pain. But the pain will linger for as long as it could, slowly slashing away at my heart with a thousand razor blades at the same time. I will put up weird postings on my blog, so readers would think I am okay and have moved on from certain heartbreaking episodes. The fact is, nobody knows how weird it can be when I sit at Sushi King alone, laughing while talking to a friend on the phone, and the moment I hang up, my tears would drop into my Miso soup, unintentionally.

The great (buffoon) Zainuddin Maidin once told people not to believe everything bloggers write, and in some ways what he had said is true. When I put on a front here on this blog, the postings were so weird that people started asking if I was for real, or if I was mixing fiction and non-fiction. More often than not, these postings have been misconstrued as a reflection of my true self. Did I care then? No. My life is my own. But somehow I do care now…somewhat. What was I to do then? Sit and cry and dwell in sadness? Be at my lowest and allow certain characters to inveigle me into relationships I would discover later I never wanted?

The worse part about emotional pain is the snowball effect. You are sad about something, and then all the sadness in your life starts to drown you…be they of the past, or of the present.

Ajee and Asma

My quarrels with my family has gone to another level. My nephew, Ahmad Nazree (above), is getting married to a lovely young lady, Asma (the one next to him), on April 26th. My daughters have been invited to attend. I have not been invited. My ex is in the wedding reception committee. So blood is thicker than water holds no truth in my family. Maybe all the amount of statins that my family members have been consuming all the years have contributed to the thinning of our blood. I didn’t know about the invite, well, I didn’t even know Ajee (as we call him) is getting married. That is my nephew, for God’s sake, and I love him. 24 years ago I sucked mucus out of his nostrils using my mouth because he had a bad asthma attack and there weren’t any nebulizers then. I used to burp him, and put his tummy on my shoulder when he was colic. And I am not allowed to attend his wedding.

It’s okay. I’ll choose that weekend to go diving. Meanwhile, Ajee and Asma, do look after each other for always. If by any chance either one of you get to read this blog (I know someone in the family reads this blog), I want you to know that despite the quarrel I have with your mother (and uncle and auntie), I love you and wish you the best in life. Please forgive Ayah Lang for not being able to attend. I would attend if I am allowed to. But as it is, I stand a better chance becoming the Prime Minister than being invited to your wedding. Forgive also Hana and Fazira for their refusal to attend your wedding reception without me. I did not ask them to stay away; they themselves have refused to attend.

So those are part of life’s ugly surprises. Surprises I would rather not have.

And below is a message to the person holding my heart:

Please don't break my heart

In Anticipation Of Your Return

I can only give you love that lasts forever,
And the promise to be near each time you call,
And the only heart I own is yours and yours alone, that’s all, that’s all.
I can only give you country walks in springtime,
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall,
And a love whose burning light to warm the winter night, that’s all, that’s all.
There are those I am sure who have told you,
They will give you the world for a toy.
All I ask for these arms to enfold you, and a love, time can never destroy.
If you’re wond’ring what I’m asking in return, dear,
You’ll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it’s me that you’ll adore for now and ever more, that’s all, that’s all.

North Pole 10 Years – Part 3

Reference is made to this posting: North Pole 10 Years – Part 2

At the Red Square

We departed Subang International Airport on April 3rd for Moscow via Amsterdam. Upon arrival at the Sheremetyevo International Airport, we were met by officials from the Malaysian Embassy, as well as Pak Zakharov (Svet S Zakharov, Utusan Malaysia’s correspondent in Russia). We were housed at what was the Hotel Rossiya (it was once the biggest hotel in the world with more than 5,000 rooms; it is no longer there) for 2 days before heading out to Volosovo Parachuting Center, near Chekov, south of Moscow. We were met by Anatoly, the only English-speaking person at the drop zone. For a whole week, we were there, and celebrated Eid-al-Adha there as well, eating goulash and smoked salmon….daily (other than the Maggi Mee, rice and sardines we brought along from KL).

We did 3 jumps a day using Russian Mil Mi-8 helicopters piloted by veterans of the Soviet Afghan campaign. The Mi-8 are predecessors of the Mi-17 and Mi-171 that are now in service with the Malaysian Fire and Rescue Services Department. The pilots were cool guys, reading comic books while flying us from zero to 13,000 feet above ground level, and was always on h is way up with another group of skydivers as we land. It was a baptism of fire (ice) for us – with ground temperatures hovering around 15 degrees Celcius BELOW ZERO, average temperature at 13,000 feet was around 41 degrees Celcius below zero. Add windchill factor while freefalling at 196 km/h, you’ll get a three-digit negative figure. After every jump, we’d be warming up our fingers and ears – the pain was excruciating. Imagine doing this 3 times a day for a week.

Aidil Adha snowman

My teammate, Rizlan, built a snowman outside out little hotel at the dropzone; later that day we all took photos outside for the press.

Photo session

On the penultimate day, a Sunday, and literally a sunny day, we did two more jumps before tragedy and reality hit us squarely in the face. The guy next to me in the pic below (Sasha, a 8,000-jump veteran, and world no.4) died minutes after this photo was taken due to parachute malfunction. All activities stopped. When the ambulance carried his body off the dropzone, we Malaysians lined up and saluted him. That night, Russians and Malaysians grouped together after dinner at the dropzone’s bar to pay tribute to one of the world’s finest.

The next day, the weather turned gloomy again, and the staff of the dropzone bade us a teary farewell.

In the Mi-8. Late Sasha is the guy seen next to me