To Err Is Human

Imagine being in a relationship…and you plan to marry this person. Soon after you guys have made plans to get married, the other person’s character changes…suddenly all the things about you that were so attractive to the other person, becomes irritating to the other person; and the other person makes callous remarks towards you. Suddenly, the other person no longer has time for you.

Then you discover the other person has been cheating on you.

What would you do? Would you try to win the other person’s heart again? Would you change just to see if the other person would like you again? Would you even consider marrying that person after what’s been done to you?

I’ve been in that situation before, until I saw a sarcastic writing somewhere that said:

“To err is human, to continue to dwell in it makes you an outright idiot!”

I’d like to know what you think.

6 Replies to “To Err Is Human”

  1. Level the playing field.
    What you can do, I can do.
    Or even better, you cheated on me for 8 hours, I’ll cheat on you for a few minutes here, a few minutes there.. see? not yet 8 hours… can still cheat.
    But seriously, it all depends on whether the heart is stronger than the mind or vice-versa.
    You might have all the info in the world make the right decision, but you’ll still choose based on feelings if you have a weak mind and sacrifice future physical and/or emotional scarring for a better feeling.
    If you have a strong mind, you’ll make the right decision inspite or despite what you feel, and sacrifice nights of crying for a better future.
    Makes sense to you?

    1. Comments on my Facebook:

      Nur Lyla at 01:52 on 02 April
      Making it work is a part of d relationship process. Its a question of how much u want it to work-out for d both of you. No such thing as a perfect man/woman/relationship.

      Douglas Yeap at 01:52 on 02 April
      Bro,bumi mane tidak ditimpa hujan.”Biar langit bicara sendiri….”Yg penting kami kena bersyukur karena tanpa munculnya kesalahan tu,tidaklah kami mengharungi ape yg dibilang betul,kan?

      Douglas Yeap at 01:58 on 02 April
      Eh sejak bila slang ako macem indon sikit?mmm…..ayuh gembira la sikit bai

      Farid Hamid at 02:59 on 02 April
      “To err is human, to continue to dwell in it makes you an outright idiot”
      Never seen a dwelling made out of err or human, so I would never be an idiot…duhh..

      David Tan at 08:23 on 02 April
      If you truly love her, it doesn’t matter who can give her happiness, as long as she is happy… so if she’s decided that someone else can give her more happiness than you, then so be it.

      What’s more important for us is that at the end of the day, we look back with no regrets, no “what if” questions and when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we’re not ashamed of what we see and can sleep soundly at night.

      To answer the “look back with no regrets”, you might try to win her heart back and make it work… but remember the baggage. Her actions will scar for life. You can forgive, but never forget. She’ll have to do more now…. Read more

      Bottom line, marry a car dude… less problems haha

      Syahmi Naim at 08:53 on 02 April
      Car maintenance also comes with a price

      Izwar Zakri at 09:13 on 02 April
      I agree. To err is human. To continuously dwell will make u an idiot.

      She’s not into you anymore. Not your fault. You can wonder why, but shouldnt dwell nor look back in regrets.

      Move on…. Read more

      As for winning her heart back, you can try. But i feel it isnt worth the effort. She cheated on you. Not you, her. Grovelling and begging are what dogs do best. And you do not have to be one to complement the bitch.

      However, if she gets tired of the other person and wants you back, I would consider (if i was in that situation), but it will be “on my terms” from then on lah.

      But, like what David said, she has to work harder and do more to make the relationship work.

      Consider marriage? Only if her hantaran include a Ferrari, a yatch, a Dugati (monster and a 916), a house in the riviera and an island (small one also can).



      Farid Hamid at 09:40 on 02 April
      So if she says to her you’re not human, just let it be, let it be, let it be ooooh, let it be…. Beetle not only one animal, flower not only one bloom..:) Many more aliens out there..

      Seriously, the big mistake in most “unions of hearts” is to think that the other person would change for the better after marriage. Acceptance to each others’ … Read moremerits and fallacies, is the essence of an unconditional love. Sharing a love that can never be broken, what come may, and learning to build a life together with understanding and tolerance are what good marriages were made of.

      A betrayal as such before the intended union, the cold shoulder, the fault finding.. all that point to one thing – the love is gone. I’d say, forget her, and be thankful that all these happened before your intended proposal. Maybe it’s God way of showing you the real her..

      Gemgem Gem at 09:42 on 02 April
      Bunga bukan sekuntum…. Now recession, cheaper!

      David Tan at 09:44 on 02 April
      Money problems versus feelings/emotions of pain.. I’d take money problems any day…

      Syahmi Naim at 09:44 on 02 April
      The irony of all these words is one overlooks the fact that no man is an island and neither do we like to admit our mistakes. I know of people where the marriage took on a life of its own and consumed them such that even though they knew it was a mistake they still got married for the sake of “saving face” !

      David Tan at 10:00 on 02 April
      Iz.. you ask for too much bro… must be the Vietnam air haha

      5 million cukup… letak dalam bank and live off the interest… then cari kerja as a DM on a resort somewhere… ahhh… the life…

      Jasmeen Zahri at 10:39 on 02 April
      I’ve never been cheated on before (at least not that I know of lah). But if it happens, TAK BAGI CHAN AH!!!!! You cheat on me, I quadruple cheat on you bebeh…Like Gemo sayz bunge bukan sekuntum, babi bukan seekor…

      Heheheh… warning tu, Sayang.. eheheheheheheh…

      Love ya, mwah mwah….

      Izwar Zakri at 11:01 on 02 April
      david : Bro… it MUST be the Vietnam air lah….yeah man. sSO i will sell the Ferrari, Dugatis and put the money in the bank and live as a DM on the island i got as hantaran…hehehe nice thot.

      Gemgem : Wakakaka.. recession indeed!

      John F Seademon at 14:57 on 02 April
      Firstly, thank you all for your comments.

      Firstly, IMO, if a person cheats on you, then there is probably something lacking in you in the eyes of the other person; or, that person could be a repeat offender who just cheats for the sake of it. I agree very much with David and Izwar that to beg for the person to return, is bringing yourself down to the level of a hungry stray dog/bitch.

      A person who cheats on you probably thinks that you do not have anywhere else to go, and have no other choice: making him/her confident enough that you would always be there as a back-up, an emotional buffer, an airbag. You allow the person to return, some day, it will happen again…. Read more

      Lyla says, “Making it work is a part of d relationship process. Its a question of how much u want it to work-out for d both of you. No such thing as a perfect man/woman/relationship.” Well, yes and no. A relationship is a teamwork. You cannot make things happen if the other person does not want to make it happen, then it will never happen… Read more/work out.

      As Syahmi’s correctly pointed out, there are many couples who continue to dwell in a mistake as a ‘face-saving measure’, or hurry into a marriage (making it work) without dealing with the problem, as a “face-saving measure.” What they fail to see is it is better for the wedding to NOT go on, than to face the embarrassment later should a divorce happen.

      As I have mentioned again and again in my blog, especially back in 2007; besides a relationship being a team effort, it also needs three elements: (1) trust, (2) respect, and (3) love. if you do not trust the other person and vice-versa, it will not work out. And similarly, you have to gain the trust of the other person for you to be trusted. You have to respect your partner. When you respect the position of your partner (PARTNER…not SUBORDINATE or MASTER), then you will command respect from your partner. And should you betray the trust, or have disrespect, that is when the relationship fails. And all these would be meaningless without LOVE.

      So, to Wifey, tit-for-tat may be sweet…but an eye for an eye will only make both parties blind eventually.

      So, for those whose partner has cheated on you, why are you still contemplating spending your life with this person?… Read more

      Why beg?

    2. Gombak, it makes perfect sense to me, bro. But like I said, an eye for an eye will only make everyone go blind.

  2. I’m in the situation at this very moment. Similar situation. I was dwelling for about a fortnight, non stop crying and all (yes, call me stupid if u wish to). But I suddenly realised something (thanks to all my supportive friends) – Things happen for a reason. God is great…He will not give us things that are no good for us.

    A friend reminded me…Don’t worry about the people in your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it for your future. Hmmm..TRUE! Lets just say I try to win his heart and we get back together…what guarantee is there that he’ll change for the better and b a good life partner for me, right? So, not worth the risk!

    Why should I allow myself to suffer alone, when he’s enjoying himself somewhere else with someone else. Easier said than done..but I’ve gotta b tough. So, let go and move on. There’s a way for payback time soon, coz what goes around comes around (hehe :p)

  3. SD, It has been 3 years now that I have taken back my wayward partner. It has been tough but I got thru it and I survived…in my own ways. I forgave but yes, I can never forget…and I still curse the one who betrayed me and the sluts `teruk` enough that I am sure they have been feeling it too.
    Life goes on for me and my kid and I have learnt a bitter lesson. I am stronger now albeit more cynical at times but I have moved on…
    Thanks for your support then and your friendship now.I am glad you are happy now and I think I am getting there too….:)

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