Bending The Bamboo

Melentur Buluh Biar Dari Rebungnya (Bend A Bamboo While It Is Still A Shoot)

That is how the Malay proverb goes. Parents are expected to shape the character of their children while they are still little. It takes 21 days of continuously doing something to turn it into a habit, and 6 months for it to become a lifestyle. If you condition your children to you giving in to their demands, you will suffer later.

However, as a divorced parent to four kids, enforcing some things can be somewhat difficult, but not impossible to do. I have three daughters with a son as the third child. Apart from the youngest daughter, the rest have had some form of discipline built into them; her mother and I were divorced when she was 2 years old. I was very firm and stern with them when they were growing up, but as they no longer live with me, some diplomacy has to be included so they won’t shy away from me. The other reason is I have another set of kids, though not biologically mine, but my wife’s kids live with me. And the last thing I would want is for my kids to think that I favour my wife’s kids over them as the former spend 24/7 with me. But little do they know that I am stern and firm with my wife’s children as I was with them, because I believe in the proverb above. Those who don’t know will accuse me of having double-standards, but it is easier to discipline kids who live with you, than those who think you abandoned them to love other kids.

With my absence, discipline slackens. My ex is the lazy, short-cut seeking type. If she has to do something that does not benefit her, she won’t do it. Even if it is for the kids. She would only cook something that she wants to eat, not what the kids want to eat. It can be Pulut (Glutinous Rice) with Sardines all weekend, or Nasi Lemak with sambal for the whole week, from breakfast through dinner, every single day. Don’t even attempt to step into the bathroom where she lives because you would end up tip-toeing inside.

Yes, that lazy.

She gets RM2,500.00 per month for the children. She doesn’t have to pay for the house. She doesn’t pay for electricity and water. She doesn’t pay for the gated-community security. She doesn’t pay for my children tuition fees, school fees and whatever fees that you can think off. Whenever my kids want to buy books, they’d ask for money from me. And she doesn’t really cook. She prefers to eat out. On my kids’ birthday, she would ask my mother’s maids to prepare all food and drinks and would ask my mother to transport the food and drinks from Shah Alam to USJ.

Yes, she is that lazy.

Once a month she would drive back to her hometown in Kedah. By mid-month, she would have spent all RM2,500.00 don’t ask me on what. She would ask for additional money from my mother, well, she used to; until my mother got fed-up, and for the past two months, she’s been asking for some money from my father as well. Every time my mother nags about it, she would complain to my mother’s maids.

Whether or not my second daughter goes to school is not of a concern to her. My eldest daughter told me on several occasions that my second daughter had been skipping classes to be with her friends. The latter would also disappear on weekends, sleeping over at friend’s place and so on, and the mother won’t even open her mouth to ask the where and the how long for from this daughter of mine. What shocked me even more is the fact that this daughter of mine had told my wife that her mother encourages her to become a model and attend photoshoots, which she finally did two days ago, approved and unaccompanied by my ex,and I was in an absolute state of indignation as a result.

My reaction would have been to give her a good belting for skipping school and going to a photoshoot, but my wife and I agreed that the root problem is my ex, and that root problem has to be addressed. Therefore, I will have to make arrangements for my daughter to be transferred from her current school to a school near my place and live with me, since my ex is not competent to bring her up.

I went to see my daughter yesterday, took her for lunch as she had not eaten anything because the mother did not cook anything for them. I watched her eat to her heart’s content before I started lecturing her in a soft tone. The initial reaction of course was stone-walling; we adults have gone through that before, except that during my time I did not have a phone screen to look at to pretend that I was sending text messages to people. I kept lecturing her about the importance of education, about the dangerous world we all live in now – the stone-walling continued.

Once we arrived in front of the house, I alighted as she did, and went around the car to say goodbye to her. I gave her the usual hug and told her to remember what I had said. She just said, “Okay, Ayah. Bye.” I never let go. I just hugged her more and told her that I won’t be around for much longer, and that I want her to study hard so she would have a good life and be a good daughter. At that point, she hugged me back and cried, and promised me she would try to be a good daughter and study hard.

The message finally sunk in.

There are times, when dealing with teenage children, that you can be firm, and you can be otherwise but always mean what you say; but nothing will work at that point if you do not bend the bamboo while it is still a shoot.

Daft Things People Do

I was in the lift just now going up. Inside the lift was another guy. The lifts at this building has that female voice announcing what level you are at, if it is going up or down, and if the door is closing. As the lift slowed before arriving at the level this guy was alighting at, we, well, at least I did, heard the loud voices of two women. The moment the lift’s door opened, and even before this guy could leave the lift, these two women rushed in and pressed the “1” button to go down. The loud announcement came:


Still, one of them kept pressing the “1” button, but the lift kept going up. She got very annoyed and looked at me sternly,


And I was like “What the fuck is wrong with you?” but never said anything. Then she slapped the lift’s wall with her palm and said,


Her partner just looked at me with an alarmed look and gestured with her hand as if she was telling me that she was sorry on her friend’s behalf.

When I arrived at my level, I looked at the miserable woman and said,


People do daft things, if you haven’t noticed. Some would press on the traffic light button numerous times thinking it would change immediately. Some put on clubwear when it is just a trip to the nearest supermarket. Some will press hard on the TV remote button knowing that the batteries are already weak. Needles that they use to give convicts lethal injection get sterilised first.

Some questions will never get answered. For example, why do we never hear father-in-law jokes? Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets when they were going to crash their planes into battleships?

And worse of all, why does Superman, who cannot be hurt by a bullet, dodge whenever someone shoots at him or throws something at him?

Do share some of the daft things you have seen or experienced.

Losing A Family Member

Bunny was my father’s pet for 6 years, initially being my brother’s who then passed the rabbit to my father in 2004. Bunny was unlike any other rabbit. It showed the loyalty of a dog, and the characters of a cat. It scratched sofas like cats do to sharpen their claws. Bunny was a huge purplish fur-ball that made it look larger than a Persian cat.

Every morning, upon release from its cage, Bunny would climb upstairs and knock on my father’s bedroom door with its hind legs. When it was let in, it would lie on top of my father’s chest, and would stay inside the room until my father leaves for the office. When my father prayed, it would sit next to the prayer mat and waited for my father to be done.

My father would hold it or carry it in his arms like it was a baby, or a cat. And Bunny would lie there and not move. My father is the only person, other than my younger sister, that Bunny was close to. When my father went abroad for the first time, leaving Bunny for more than two weeks, Bunny did not eat. Bunny only ate after my father called to speak to it. So, every time that my father had to go away, he would call home to find out how Bunny was doing.

Lately, Bunny had not been well. Yesterday, by the time my mother took it to the vet, Bunny was already having difficulty breathing then. And when my mother talked about the possibility of losing Bunny, my father was already sad.

This morning, my mother woke up and instinctively hurried to have a look at Bunny. She found it lying limp, motionless. She summoned the maid to have a look at Bunny, but Bunny was already gone. The other rabbits stayed away. My mother ran upstairs and called my father to come down. He hurried to have a look at Bunny, and lifted Bunny in his arms, like he would when it was still alive.

Apart from shedding just one tear when my grandmother passed away 27 years ago, I have never seen my father cry. Apparently this time he did. My father sent my younger sister a text message that was forwarded to me:

Our dear Bunny passed away this morning in his cage alone where we had put him on the vet’s advice after the vet had said he was not well and was having breathing difficulties. He was supposed to have his drops twice a day but I think he wasn’t in time for his 2nd one. Shortly before 8 Mak was informed and by 8 when I picked him up, rigour mortis was just setting in but his forehead was still warm. It’s 8.35 now and we have wrapped him up in a white cushion cover, his left eye still partially opened. We are now burying him near the gate at the foot of the Kemboja tree. Bubble & Floppy, & even Bubu, have sensed Bunny’s death. He returns to his Maker after giving me so much joy. Can see him sitting erect beside me as I pray. Can hear him banging his head against the door wanting to come into the room. May he rest free of worldly pains.

I know how he feels right now. I lost my pet cat 33 years ago, and can still feel the pain.

Thank you, Bunny, for keeping my father company when things were bad between us siblings and he. Thank you for giving him the joy and love when you were around. You will always be part of the family.

Where Bunny was buried on 101010
Where Bunny was buried on 101010

I, Complainant

I have had it with the lawlessness that prevails in my area. Therefore, I decided to bypass the local police station, the OCPD, and the CPO who is a close friend of mine, by writing a complaint straight to the IGP’s office. This was what I wrote:


Kapt (B) Hj John F Seademon
xx, Jalan xxxxxxxxxx
Taman xxxxxxxxxxxx


Unit Pengaduan,
Urusetia Ketua Polis Negara (Integriti)
Ibu Pejabat Polis Diraja Malaysia
Jalan Bukit Aman


Rujukan dibuat kepada tajuk di atas.

Berhubung dengan perkara di atas, saya ingin membuat aduan mengenai kurang cekapan para anggota yang bertugas di Pondok Polis xxxxxxxxxx, Taman xxxxxxxxxx. Agak selesa saya nyatakan di sini bahawa kurang cekapan ini telah lama menjadi bahan mulut para penduduk di sini.

Selama saya berada di kawasan ini (sejak pertengahan tahun 2008), baru dua kali saya terserempak dengan para anggota membuat rondaan. Ketidak kerapan ini menyebabkan satu keadaan ketiadaan hormat terhadap undang-undang berlaku di kawasan ini. Paling ketara ialah para remaja, murid-murid sekolah, kanak-kanak bawah umur yang membawa motorsikal tanpa segan-silu, tanpa memakai topi keledar, berlumba di jalan raya, dan tidak menghiraukan keselamatan diri sendiri, apatah lagi keselamatan lain-lain pengguna jalan raya. Oleh kerana mereka ini adalah murid sekolah (ramainya di bawah umur), maka sudah tentu juga mereka membawa motorsikal tanpa lesen, bukan sahaja ke sekolah, malah untuk ke kedai dan sebagainya. Lampu isyarat juga langsung tidak dihiraukan oleh mereka. Sering beberapa kali saya sendiri hampir melanggar motorsikal yang memintas di hadapan kenderaan saya untuk membelok ke arah lain dan sebagainya. Keadaan ini menjadikan kawasan ini tidak ubah seperti jalan-jalan tanah merah di dalam FELDA.

Saya amat berharap agar pihak PDRM serius dalam menangani gejala tersebut. Sekiranya kesalahan menjadi suatu kebiasaan kerana ketiadaan penguatkuasaan undang-undang, maka rasa hormat orang awam terhadap PDRM dan integriti pasukan secara amnya akan terhakis. Agak sedih bagi saya yang telah membesar dalam keluarga PDRM sekiranya hidup untuk melihat perkara seperti ini berlaku.

Segala tindakan selanjutnya daripada pihak tuan didahului dengan ribuan terima kasih.

Yang benar,

Kapt (B) Hj John F SeaDemon

Let’s see how quick they reply and act on this.

What My Blog Is Worth

While waiting to shower, I checked my blog’s status and find that I have between 60 to 100 hits on my blog per day. So, I went through this website called My Website Worth and found out the following:

1) Spena’s blog is worth US$25.00

2) Dayang’s blog is worth US$4.00

3) Wifey’s blog is worth US$6.00

4) Faiez’s is also worth US$25.00

5) Idlan’s blog is worth US$32.00

6) Renek’s blog is also worth US$4.00

7) Lynn’s blog is worth US$48.00

8) Mimi’s blog is worth US$22.00

9) Kimi’s blog is worth US$25.00 (and the guy hardly blogs)

10) Komar’s blog is worth US$25.00 (the last he blogged was last year or something)

11) My sister-in-law is US$25.00 richer

12) Aiz’s blog is worth US$4.00

13) My former blog at Narcaholic is worth US$25.00 (it doesn’t even exist anymore)


14) my own blog now is worth US$5.00

Now how is that for useless information?



Ada susah, tak ada pun susah.

Sejak aku hidup bersendirian ni aku rasa aku dah ada 5 bibik. Bibik yang second last dengan yang sekarang ni la yang boleh buat aku gila. Bibik yang second last tu kira macam harta pusaka la…diturunkan dari satu generasi ke satu generasi yang lain. Budak-budak takut dengan dia. In a way, bagus la kan. Ada disiplin sikit budak-budak tu. Yang tak bagusnya, semua benda nak kena ikut cara dia. Kalau tak ikut, dia punya masam tu mengalahkan asam paling masam. So, bagus jugak dia belah. Yang tak bagusnya sebelum dia belah, dia sempat mencopet beberapa barangan kitorang dalam rumah ni termasuklah seluar dalam Marks and Spencer aku yang masih dalam plastik, belum berbuka. Mahal tu aku beli. Satu hari, beberapa minggu lepas bibik tu belah, aku pun nak pencenkan seluar dalam aku yang dah lama, yang getah dah loose, yang kalau jalan 5 langkah getah seluar dalam tu akan berada di bawah telur aku. Aku pun buanglah semua tu. Sekali nak pakai boleh tak ada seluar dalam! Puas aku mencari kat tempat yang aku simpan. Tak wujud. Memang kimak la babi sekor tu. Aku sumpah dia kena langgar dengan lori babi kat kampung dia.

Dapatlah kami bibik baru. Budak-budak suka dia. Budak-budak suka dia sebab dia ni kalau jadi calon bertanding pilihanraya, budak-budak akan undi dia. Dia kasi aje budak-budak ni buat ikut suka diorang. So, dari rejim kuku besi, budak-budak ni sekarang macam kambing gersang terlepas kandang. Isteri aku yang dulu marah budak macam nak memujuk kucing suruh makan, sekarang ni dah pandai bawak hanger baju.

Sebelum dia sampai dulu, isteri aku dengan penuh semangat buat jadual kerja untuk bibik yang bakal tiba. Hari apa pukul berapa apa yang patut dibuat dan sebagainya. Kesian aku tengok isteri aku bertungkus-lumus buat benda tu.


Bibik ni ada sikit perangai alien. Aku tak pernah bersembang dengan dia sebab bila dia bukak mulut dia, aku langsung tak faham apa dia cakap. Aku ingatkan aku sorang je yang tak faham apa dia cakap. Rupa-rupanya masa Hari Raya hari tu aku bawak dia ke rumah mak bapak aku untuk nak tolong-tolong, bibik-bibik kat sana pun tak faham apa dia cakap. Boleh? Aku cuma faham satu benda aje yang dia cakap:


Itu OKAY versi bibik. Cuma disebut dengan penuh kegirangan, dan senyaring bunyi wisel keretapi arang.

Semua pun dia OR-CARE. Kalau cakap kat dia, “Bibik, nanti sebelum naik kunci semua pintu, ya?” Dia akan jawab, “OR-CARE!” Malam nanti masa turun ke dapur, haram satu pintu pun tak berkunci. Esok tu aku suruh la isteri aku tegur dia pasal benda tu. “OR-CARE!” dia jawab. So malam tu memang tidur nyenyak la sebab pintu semua berkunci. Malam keesokannya, pintu depan tak berkunci. So tegur lagi, dia kasi jawapan yang sama. So malam tu bila check memang berkunci. Tapi pintu dapur pulak yang tak berkunci! Bila aku beritahu suruh kunci semua pintu malam-malam, memang semuanya berkunci. TINGKAP PULAK YANG TAK BERKUNCI!!! Siap ternganga luas! Nasib baik la aku turun malam sebab dengar bunyi kereta kuat kat bawah.

Satu petang tu, masa balik dari kerja, isteri aku tengok pintu depan ternganga. Bila masuk ke rumah, satu manusia pun tak ada. Rupanya, dia bawak budak-budak tu pergi main kat taman! So isteri aku pun tegur dia bila balik. Suruh dia bawak kunci rumah bila keluar ke taman dengan budak-budak tu. Esok tu, bila balik, memang dia bawak kunci rumah ke taman. TAPI PINTU DEPAN TETAP TERNGANGA!!!!

Kalau engkorang baca ni tak rasa tension, aku tak tahu la.

Bibik ni pun ada emo jugak. Kalau kena tegur, memang macam drama TV3. Ada satu hari tu aku tegur dia pasal dah dekat pukul 9 malam baru mengaku barang dapur dah habis. Itu pun lepas isteri aku tengok dalam peti ais tu macam boleh letak almari dan meja makan sebab kosong betul. Esok tu, dia punya emo, bila aku nak keluar, aku nampak dia buka pintu depan tu sikit tunggu nak tutup gate, sambil tersandar di pintu macam scene drama melayu bila makcik kecewa dan segala cipap yang sewaktu dengannya. Sandar yang kedua belah tangan di belakang, tapak tangan tekap kat dinding atau pintu, dengan muka seposen yang paling cipet dalam dunia.

Malam ni, isteri aku tension dengan dia. Sebab? Sebab dia buat dadih untuk pencuci mulut. Dadih tu, kalau hantar kat lab, asingkan balik bahan-bahan dia, boleh dapat gula sebulan punya stok. MANIS MELEKIT!!! Isteri aku tanya dia masa buat dadih tu rasa ke tidak? Dia kata dia rasa. Macam mana dia rasa? begini ceritanya:

“1) Mula-mula buat dadih.



4) Lepas masuk, rasa lagi sekali dan pada dia masih tawar (DIA TAK KACAU!)


Memang kitorang tak kasi budak-budak tu makan. Kalau tak malam ni sure ada yang lompat katil, atau angkat kereta aku letak kat luar sebab sugar-rush!

Hari tu, budak-budak demam. Isteri aku pun carilah ubat demam kat dalam peti ais. Tak jumpa. So, bibik ni, dengan penuh semangat bantulah isteri aku carikan ubat demam. So, dia pun bawakanlah satu botol ni kat isteri aku.

Bibik: “Yang ini ya?”

Isteri Aku: “Itu Essence of Vanilla la Bik.”

Lepas tu dia datang kembali dengan satu kotak berisi botol.

Bibik: “Yang ini ya?”

Mengeluh panjang isteri aku.

Ada ke patut TABASCO yang dia bawak?

Macam mana aku nak buat lagi? Engkorang nak suruh aku tukar dia dengan bibik lain? Engkorang kena ingat – dia ni boleh menang pilihanraya kalau budak-budak boleh mengundi.

Oh, dan dia sangat pemalu.


Tengok la gambar kat bawah ni macam mana dia posing bila kitorang ajak dia ambik gambar sama-sama.

Bibik ku malu-malu kambing

Malu-malu kambing, kau!