Is It Good Now That Virtually Everyone Can Fly?

Some may remember this posting of mine some time back in April 2010. I have not flown on Air Asia since.

This now is the Christmas week, and all flights to Kota Kinabalu is full. I had to fly to Kota Kinabalu via Kuching today on Malaysia Airlines. As most would know, Malaysia Airlines has also entered the low fare warfare by allowing people to choose their flights according to how much the fare costs, but providing meals and other services as part of the package (you have to pay for everything extra on Air Asia). As a result, now everyone can fly on Malaysia Airlines as well. I suppose you can imagine the nightmare now.

My flight from Kuala Lumpur to Kuching was rather uneventful. I traveled Business Class, good meal, comfy seat, and upon arrival in Kuching, went to town to have lunch with my wife’s cousins. The second leg of my journey was where the nightmare happened.

I was booked on seat 15D. That is an aisle seat. As I approached my seat, I saw a man sitting in it, reading a newspaper. Next to him was a cow I assumed is his wife. The window seat was occupied by her massive handbag. I smiled to the man and said, “Excuse me, this is my seat.”

He looked at me blankly, then went back to reading his newspaper. Then the flight attendant came and asked me what was the matter. I showed her my boarding pass stub and pointed to her that my seat was being occupied. The flight attendant then asked the man to move back to his seat, which was the center seat, and his cow of a wife, the window seat. They reluctantly moved back to the respective seat, and soon after the plane took off, I fell asleep.

Some ten minutes later, I felt someone elbowing my ribs. It was the irritating man again. He, too, was asleep, but had his elbows take not just the space on the arm rest, but a quarter of my seat’s space. Mind you he’s a skinny bastard, and I was sure there was more than enough room for him to sit comfortably in his seat without having to intrude into my space. So, I nudged his elbow back. He didn’t even flinch.

Mealtime came and the flight attendant woke them both up. The man ate real quick, like that was his first meal of the day at 5pm. The cow that was probably his wife ate like a pig – literally, eating the fruits straight from the fruit tray pushed into her face. When she finished her drink, she stole her husband’s, causing the husband to repeatedly press the button to call the flight attendant, who was still busy serving others, for more drinks.

If you think that that was how gross they were, think again. As I ate my Tomyam Fish, the husband took out the plastic coffee stirrer and started sticking it into his ear, twirled it around, took it out to have a look, wiped it on the flight’s newspaper meant for other passengers to read as well, then stuck the damned thing back in.

And I was STILL EATING!

Then, he stuck the damned stirrer into the seat pocket! Just when I thought he was done with his antiques, HE STARTED TO PICK HIS NOSE AND FLICKED HIS FINGERS! I had had enough and told him off! Was he bothered? NO!!!! He just kept going! Then when the turbulence got worse, he gripped his guaranteed-sticky-with-booger fingers on the arm rest next to me!

Around 20 minutes later we landed. And the aircraft had to wait for the ground staff to ready the aerobridge. The lead attendant had already announced to the passengers that they should remain seated. Hell, no! This couple had to stand up and tried to remove their carry-on luggage from the overhead compartment – RIGHT ABOVE MY HEAD!. I had had enough this time:

DUDUK LA BODOH!

The flight attendant got up and looked my way. Then, a few more voices from the back seats were heard saying virtually the same thing to these idiots.

They sat quietly – and when I left my seat later, they were still seated.