Ko Cipet La Man Balik Kampung Cari Internet!

Everytime there is a major holiday in Malaysia, I would look forward to the PETRONAS TV adverts. I remember the ones with Rozie Rashid going back to her kampung, the Indian boy who went to the Stadium Merdeka to watch the proclamation of independence with his father, the “itu burung apa ayah?” raya advert of 2007 – tearjerkers all.

Looking at the raya ad for 2008, my lower jaw still has trouble moving upwards. I can see the message that PETRONAS was trying to put forward, in the raya spirit, but the storyline, dialogue, was, to put it in a subtle and polite manner – STUPID. Of course Maria Arshad would win hands-down as my friend, Gemgem’s favourite MILF (after his revelation last night over coffee).

Anyway, here is the advert that was shown on TV:

Now, what follows is my translation:

Sekkom mak!
Man: “Sekkom, mak!”

Peluk baek
Mak: “Man! Kau dah besar, nak! Dah nak raya ke ni yang engkau balik ni?”
Man: “Agaknya la mak. Man tengok semua orang balik, Man pun balik (dalam hati: bergetah lagi tetek minah ni…buat breast uplift ke?)

Wa dari Pahang, beb
Man: “Mak tau, Man dah kerja dekat 15 tahun, tak cukup-cukup lagi duit nak beli wireless broadband dari CELCOM atau MAXIS. Jadi Man nak pinjam tepon mak nak download porn malam raya nih. Dah lama Man dalam hutan kat Pahang membalun ungka betina je.”
Mak: “Mak tak ada internet, Man. Sini mak tepon orang guna tin susu kosong dengan benang aje.”

Anak buduh
Man: “Mak, bukan ke ini bilik mak? Takkan mak nak suruh Man tidur sini?”
Mak: “Kau dah besar, Man. Mak gersang sejak bapak kau lari dengan Mak Semah 5 tahun dulu dan putuskan wayar tepon rumah.”

Tak ada line tepon mana boleh connect, buduh!
Man: “Mak! Man bodoh la mak! Dah mak kata tepon rosak Man nak cari gak Internet!”
Mak: “Kau memang baghal macam bapak kau! Pergi la kat Rumah Tumpangan Ah Keong kat Lorong Haji Taib 4 tu. Kat situ mungkin dapat line.”

Memang baghal
Man: “Aku memang baghal macam mak aku kata. Dah tau tepon dia rosak aku nak tepon dia jugak.”

Man dah balik nak main, Mak
Man: “Mak, mak pergi mana? Man dah horny banget ni asyik tengok porn kat pekan! Mak okay ke?”
Mak: “Mak ingat Man main dengan arboq di Chow Kit. Mak pun pergi la main kat bawah pokok ganja dengan Pak Sani engkau tu. Orang tengah terawih, tak ada orang nak kacau. Mesti la mak okay.”

Mak jadi moreh
Mak: “Lepas tu, mak kena jadi moreh untuk orang-orang yang balik dari surau dekat rumah penghulu Ajis.”
Man: “Takpe la mak. Man pun tak jumpa orang jual lemang tadi, Jadi malam ni mak makan aje la lemang Man punya.”

I cannot understand why can’t a son forget the Internet for just one bleedin’ night when obviously he hasn’t been back to his hometown in years as evident in the dialogue, he doesn’t even know if it was his mother’s room.

This is the advert that has the most “OKAY” in its dialogue, and most certainly have been a Telekom Malaysia-bashing advert.

Whoever’s the corporate branding person – he/she deserves to be shot.

17 Replies to “Ko Cipet La Man Balik Kampung Cari Internet!”

  1. Hah.. i cannot accept the mom keeps saying “OK” .. plus her shirt.. no makcik in kg wears that.. duh! Plus, he drives a landrover defender who carries a samsonite executive laptop bag?!.. errrrr.. we dont bring those kind of “bag” dalam hutan or work site…. Mmg mangkuk betul this commercial… Did anyone notice the “Kacip Senah” sign kat umah tuh?.. ?????

  2. Mocha…apa lagi nak buat kalau dah tak masuk air?

    Zaza…this one SANGAT TAK OKAY. Memang teruk.

    Wana…the shirt tu I can accept la…for easy access later. That Land Rover Defender 110 tu mesti dia beli second-hand dari polis. Dulu angkat mayat mat rempit kena langgar steamroller. As for the Kacip Senah…I thought mak dia jual jamu kasi rapat “anu”.

    Chekgu Jaja…wah, ada masa awak tengok advert tu ye? Ingat kot busy correct papers. Maria Arshad tu masa tahun 80an memang jadi modal untuk…errr…too much info.

    Ah Keong…tu la pasal. Bongok betul mamat tu. Lepas tu tak ada wireless broadband modem boleh log in dari kedai kopi Lee Wat Yew di kampung tu yang tetiba ada wifi installed.

    DP…come back to Malaysia la and shoot adverts.

    Sayang…Kacip Patimah untuk ketat “anu.” Kacip Senah untuk ketat “anus”.

  3. I totally agree with you bro……this year’s Petronas ad shocked the media community….we all know a story line like this will not even passed the marketing exec…..perhaps, Malaysia Boleh prinsip comes in play….someone in there is making quick bucks, simply agreed to a cheap budget ad but with marked up quotation….this is why lot of things in Malaysia lack of quality…..

  4. hehehhe..make up tua maria tu macam tak best jer..a’ahh erk kacip senah tu apa? kacip bedah or kacip mamat tak da? :-p

  5. The one that i really love was the janda anak ramai tu…pas tu dia pesan kat anak dia beli hati or limpa or something..and the son(s) lupo….pah tu mak dia kecik hati…(ni part dah nak ternangis)…then they all bawak balik lembu sekor (uwaaa…aku terus nangis)…heart warning gilos.

    The latest ad, well…didnt pay much attention – but i like SD’s version better….lebih realistickinessity

  6. hahaha pkm lu SD! byk sgt idea la tu! terputus usus kecik aku kejap.. esp on da tin susu kosong with benang part! hahaha!

    tapi mmg terbukti kau ni penggila wanita! siap boleh buat Man terbayang tetek Maria Arshad bergetah! hehehehe… She’s surely a MILF! hahaha

    But da mum mcm rileks aje jumpa anak dia.. mcm tak suka aje.. konpius gua..

  7. thank god! i argued with din abt a lot of thing pertaining ti this advert!!!!!
    but ur translation, macam cipet only! lol!

  8. apasal mak dia asyik berkelip mata aje bila sembang dgn anak dia? kasi elektrik shock sikit ka? mau test power getah ka?

    But SD shud do d dialogue for d last sentence. Just rite after d mum asked, “Apa Man dah buat?”… so Man nak jawab apa lak?

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