Battle In The Booths

Beraya di tandas awam
Berhari-raya di tandas awam


If you are below the age of 40 and are not accompanied by both parents, please do not proceed to read this. You have been warned.

The toilet is where you tend do lots of productive things other than to dump crap. I tend to get lots of ideas to write on my blog, or write project papers, magazine articles and so on. But most certainly, toilets remind me of the political situation and of politicians of Malaysia, no matter which side of the fence they are on.

I have this habit of having to read something when I sit on the porcelain throne. The reading material ranges from a novel by Tom Clancy right down to the fine prints on a toothpaste tube; the latter comes in handy when I cannot find anything to read. But if I am on the move and have to use the public toilets, that is when my mobile phone comes in handy. I would say from 2003 I have this thing about taking photos in the toilet booth and sending the images as MMS attachments to be sent to good friends. Sharing is caring, they say. Worse come to worse I’d come up with a simple poem and send it as a SMS.

There was once I was busy sending and receiving SMS to and from a former colleague, only for us both to realise that we were in the adjacent booth. See how technology brings friends together.

Why this shitty story today?

I was having lunch with Wifey when I felt the urge to go (yes, I am capable of going in the middle of a meal, to return and continue eating later). As I enter this public toilet, two out of four booths were already occupied. Two minutes or so after I had entered, the final booth adjacent to mine, found a tenant.

Suddenly, someone let out a fart. The ~PHFFFffffttTTttt~ type. Soon, another guy let out the flabby ~PFPRRFFPRRRPFffRRR~ type. I let loose the long windy semi-silent type with a little ~CRETTttTT~ at the end. Then the guy who came in last gave a loud ~BROOAAAAATTTTT~. And we all laughed out loud.

I quickly send an SMS to Wifey to relate that incident. She was still having her lunch.

That really made my day.

8 Replies to “Battle In The Booths”

  1. Yes, I am a one those victims to have received the “lovely” MMS.
    I have since disabled the auto download function for MMS.

    Soon Maxis might sue you for causing them to lose business bro 🙂

  2. If only they know about your daily fart orchestra in our toilet… Takde orang nak kawan dengan you.

  3. Gemmy…I think before Maxis sues me, its second biggest individual shareholder won’t let me back home for a decade more.

    Mocha…ya lor. You saluted me some more.

    Adzue…glad you like it.

    Anna…hahaha…can la. Otherwise how to ajak for makan-makan or teh tarik?

    Wifey…well, mine’s baritone. Yours is alto.

    Faisal…my wife loves gross stories. Sick woman.

  4. tahap imagination i kan tersangat tinggi,
    so, i can imagine the scenario in that toilet!
    Adehh… saket perot i ketawa baca this post.

    and i, for sure will laugh sampai golek golek if i’m in one of those cubicle but then again, i don’t think we can have this kind of experience in the ‘ladies’. *gulp, ya ka?*

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