You know it’s still too early for you and for some people when you drive into a shopping mall’s carpark and the security guards are still frantically trying to remove the barriers they had put up the previous night. You walk up the escalator (it was still inoperational) to find your dry-cleaners outlet dark. You walk into a Starbucks and ask for Chamomile Mee. When the cashier asks you “Chamomile Mee?”, you go, “Yes, Grande, hot.”
I don’t know what’s wrong with me but that was what I did just now. Then as I bent forward to plug my notebook charger into the socket, I inadvertently let loose a silent but killer fart. Hey, how was I suppose to know it was going to be a killer one? I blame this horrible smell on the new diet I am on. I rarely get this problem. The worse part was, the smell just lingered and refused to go. And here I was sitting in front of the notebook looking at its screen pretending it wasn’t me but was probably the guy seated in front of me, while the guy at the next table could be seen flaring his nostrils to capture untainted air.
Yesterday, I did the same thing to this couple who were behind me on an escalator in Ampang Park. You should see their face when I farted. It was a lot funnier scene than the funny look they gave me at the top of the escalator later.
What is even funnier was when I read an excerpt from this book called Contemporary Medical Issues In Islamic Jurisprudence by one Qazi Mujahidul Islam Qasmi something like:
1. It is okay for the goat’s upper front teeth to be used in the case of lost front teeth in a human being.
2. Man should use his own organs to be transplanted in his own self. This is to avoid giving the donor sin should the recepient commit one.
3. It is alright to eat the flesh of a dead prophet if there is nothing left to eat.
First and foremost, goats DO NOT HAVE UPPER FRONT TEETH! It is just one big hard gum! Secondly, if both my kidneys fail, which kidney should I use to transplant? And, thirdly, I’ll die from starvation because the last prophet was around 1500 years ago.
And they call themselves the Ulama’ (learned/knowledgeable ones) and have the cheek to write things on medical issues. If I were to ridicule this guy openly, people would brand me blasphemous as if this guy is a god.
This is, indeed, a funny world.