Star Whores: The Clone Whores and the Cloned

This world is filled with posers.

Millions of them.

They go around claiming that they are who they aren’t, and the effort they put into believing their own lie(s) is unbelievable.

I have met some. And they are funny. For the record, I went to the North Pole with 22 others (16 were skydivers, 4 were from TV3 while the other 3 were support staff such as a doctor, media relations, and an administrator) back in 1998. Obviously I would know who my team mates were. Then there were those who went to the media some years later with our pictures, running their story and giving those pictures as theirs, claiming they were part of the team. I had to issue letters to the respective editors denying that they were ever part of my team but those letters never got printed because it would mean the editors were stupid for not editing the story.

Then came the story of people who claim they went to the South Pole when they never did. One guy, happily interviewed by the press for being part of an expedition to Antarctica claimed to be the first Malaysian to ever reach the geographical South Pole. All he did was stood on the edge of Antarctica where South Africa had control over. Then a group of people claimed they were at the South Pole when they were some 1800 kilometers away, on the Antarctic continent. These people should be ashamed of themselves as they were from a group that are supposed to be the best at map reading.

Then there was a guy who claimed to be an ex-navy commando, when all he really is is a former signal apprentice at the Armed Forces Apprentice Training School. Another I met, claim that he teaches commandos how to dive rebreathers when he himself cannot explain the parts and mechanism of a Draeger Dolphin semi-closed rebreather, let alone a LAR-V CCOBA rebreather.

Another person I know, keeps claiming that he is doing millions of jobs for various government and private agencies, events and what-nots; but at the same time beg for a job at his/her former workplace. Then, when the job has been secured, tell people that going back there was of the last choice, and only because people begged the person to return to that office.

I also met a guy who claimed he knows me well. Sat with him for tea, and I asked him if he could help introduce me to myself so I could pass my gun license application form to the me he knows. So, he went on and on about how he and I have been close since before we were born and all that. You should have seen the look on his face when I told him who I am.

But this incident beats them all: I met the person who impersonated me.

This person, whose name differ slightly to mine, but with the same father’s name, went around conning people to buy pieces of land. Some people fell for the trick. So, one day, an old acquaintance I met asked me if I was into real estates. Me? Real estates? Apparently this guy knows of a victim personally. So, I demanded that I meet the victim. The victim, a Dato’, was surprised to see that the eldest son of my father looks so much different to the eldest son of my father who conned him.

So, I set a trap. I went to meet my clone. And at that meeting, he gave me his name card – his middle name was RAHIM. Went on and on about this piece of land that I should buy. Again, you should have seen the look on his face when I showed him my driver’s license.

And don’t ask me if this guy is still alive or otherwise.

The morale of this story is: we should all expose these clone whores before they turn into stars.