Daily Whatevers – Page 58

October 20, 2008

An Advice To The Vegetables

How often do you find yourself having to wonder what’s written on a road sign because it’s behind a tree or some overgrown bush that used to be a flowerbed which was supposed to be maintained by the local council?

It really is annoying, isn’t it?

Well, with an economic crisis looming, a town in Yorkshire, England, called Todmorden, has grown vegetables and fruit trees all over the town. Best still, they are all free for anyone to pick and take home to cook! This edible landscape is a million times better than the flowers and trees that are being planted by the various local councils – they don’t cost much to grow, and you help the taxxpayers. The only thing, being in Malaysia, they’ll have to find a way to stop thieves from stealing and reselling them in some market somewhere.

Whatever it is, this is the most sound thing to do now, and I certainly hope the vegetables in the local council can and will do something similar.

October 12, 2008October 12, 2008

I Khan’t Believe My Eyes That Ravichandran And David Niven Weren’t Made A ‘DATUK’

I tell you this. I was looking for an image of DATUK SHAH RUKH KHAN, and I clicked on a link only to find this image:

WTF is an UPGRADATION?
WTF is an ‘UPGRADATION’ anyhow???

I used to hear of the word when I worked in some company that believed it was the nation’s most-favoured multinational company. After more than two point five years of leaving that dunghole, I decided to search for the meaning of that word and got this:

Results

upgradation was not found in the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary

Did you spell it correctly?

Anyway, Shah Rukh Khan was made a DATUK for making millions worldwide see the scenes shot in Melaka. And I went: WOW!

Eh, the late Ibrahim Pendek should be awarded a DATUKship by the Pahang state government for making people around the world to see what Tioman island was like back in 1958 where they shot the movie “Bali H’ai”.

Come to think of it, Mollywood film producer Ravichandran should also get a DATUKship from the Yang DiPertuan Agong for having KLCC and KLIA in the background of the song “Remo” for the movie “Anniyan.”

And of course, if the late Ibrahim Pendek is conferred a DATUKship, then Rock Hudson should get one as well.

Oh, don’t forget DATUK DAVID NIVEN for being part of the cast of a movie called “Paper Tiger” shot in KL in 1975 when there was still a BULATAN MERDEKA.

Man, we have so many local people who are deserving of those recognitions and yet the Melaka state government saw it fit to award Shah Rukh Khan who did not even attend the ceremony. That is snubbing on a global scale.

October 12, 2008

12th October

A year ago today was the last day of Ramadhan – and I spent it alone. I remember finding some meat that was three days old in the fridge, and some Ribena to drink for berbuka puasa. I even blogged about it.

I was all alone.

The next day was Hari Raya. I went to the house of the Forlorn Soldier and had something other than raya food. I almost met with an accident due to the abnormally heavy rain that saw Sungai Damansara burst its banks near TTDI Jaya (yet again). That night, my friends who do not know how to celebrate Hari Raya, and I, left for the Perhentian Islands to dive – yes, on hari raya.

I don’t remember where I dived, but I remember diving at Tukun Laut, Sugar Wreck, and near Pasir Tani in a storm looking for seahorses.

Me, at Sugar Wreck – taken by Deepblu

On the way back from Sugar Wreck with Jasmine, Marlene and Sharon

I hardly took any photos on that trip, and because my underwater housing was spoilt, I did not take any underwater ones at all, until a month later when I went to Sipadan.

Anyway, what a difference a year has made. Here I am now, blogging whilst listening to my lovely wife snoring away.

Life is so wonderful now – and I am no longer alone.

October 9, 2008

Battle In The Booths

Beraya di tandas awam
Berhari-raya di tandas awam

VIOLENT CONTENT

If you are below the age of 40 and are not accompanied by both parents, please do not proceed to read this. You have been warned.

The toilet is where you tend do lots of productive things other than to dump crap. I tend to get lots of ideas to write on my blog, or write project papers, magazine articles and so on. But most certainly, toilets remind me of the political situation and of politicians of Malaysia, no matter which side of the fence they are on.

I have this habit of having to read something when I sit on the porcelain throne. The reading material ranges from a novel by Tom Clancy right down to the fine prints on a toothpaste tube; the latter comes in handy when I cannot find anything to read. But if I am on the move and have to use the public toilets, that is when my mobile phone comes in handy. I would say from 2003 I have this thing about taking photos in the toilet booth and sending the images as MMS attachments to be sent to good friends. Sharing is caring, they say. Worse come to worse I’d come up with a simple poem and send it as a SMS.

There was once I was busy sending and receiving SMS to and from a former colleague, only for us both to realise that we were in the adjacent booth. See how technology brings friends together.

Why this shitty story today?

I was having lunch with Wifey when I felt the urge to go (yes, I am capable of going in the middle of a meal, to return and continue eating later). As I enter this public toilet, two out of four booths were already occupied. Two minutes or so after I had entered, the final booth adjacent to mine, found a tenant.

Suddenly, someone let out a fart. The ~PHFFFffffttTTttt~ type. Soon, another guy let out the flabby ~PFPRRFFPRRRPFffRRR~ type. I let loose the long windy semi-silent type with a little ~CRETTttTT~ at the end. Then the guy who came in last gave a loud ~BROOAAAAATTTTT~. And we all laughed out loud.

I quickly send an SMS to Wifey to relate that incident. She was still having her lunch.

That really made my day.

October 2, 2008October 3, 2008

How To Spend Hari Raya And Get Bored In Two Days

Hari Raya…Hari Raya…Hari Raya.

It’s for kids only. Seriously. I am only happy this Hari Raya because I get to spend it my way, with at least one daughter, and with beloved Wifey. The latter two have made this Hari Raya extremely meaningful.

But what’s with the title?

On the second day of Hari Raya, Wifey and I are already feeling bored to death and long to go back to KL or JB…wherever we can be together without having to think about people visiting or visiting people.

Anyway, back to Hari Raya. We kicked off Hari Raya day by hanging out at the Old Town White Coffee outlet at Taman Banang on the way to Bukit Pasir with Wifey’s brothers, Uda and Shah. We had lots of stuff including Ipoh Hor Fun Noodles.

Wifey and youngest brother, Shah

Uda and I

Hana playing mobile phone games

The next morning was for visiting relatives, sending Raya goodies to uncles and aunts and so on. Tiring first day because it was a long one.

Hana and Wifey

Wifey and I

Wifey in raya mode at her uncle’s place

At her uncle’s place

Hana and Medina at Wifey’s aunt’s place

I whacked more ketupat and rendang later that night while everyone else was asleep. I just had to eat things until I got sick of raya foodies so I can go back to normal.

And today, the second day, Wifey, Hana and I, went to look for normal food. We had lunch at the Landmark Hotel.

Happy to have lunch

Wifey at the Landmark Hotel

Hana and her milk shake

So, that was how we spent our Hari Raya in a day, and bored ourselves to death with the usual Hari Raya fun.

Can’t wait to get home.

September 30, 2008

Last Day Of Ramadhan – Balik Kampung..Oh Oh Oh..Balik Kampung

As of last night, Wifey was still contemplating whether to go back to Johor or not. She almost decided not to go back and that would have meant the three of us (including my eldest daughter, Hana) to hole ourselves up here in the KL Crib. Fazira is back in Kedah with her mom, Nisaa and Farhan are in Klang at their maternal grandma’s place, Ali has gone back to Kedah with his father. Medina and Yunus are already in Batu Pahat.

Just the three of us left.

This morning, it was decided that we are going to spend our Hari Raya in Johor. So in less than an hour, we’ll be making our way back South. Last year, I made my way Northeastwards to the Perhentians. I somehow wish I could spend this Raya on an island somewhere…diving.

Anyway, for the past two nights, Wifey, Hana, Ali (for the first night only), and I have been breaking our fast outside. The first night was at The Curve after failing to find a F&B outlet that wasn’t full at the Subang Parade.

Wifey’s Phad Thai Thalay

My Black Pepper Soft Shell Crab

Later that night, together with Liverpool Babe, Neomesuff and her husband, we went out shopping at the Ramadhan Bazaar along Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman.

Wifey and Liverpool Babe checking the authenticity of the original imitation clothes

Neomesuff: “Yang, make sure you buy for me these things one lorry load!”
Wan: “Hait!”

Finally…4am was when we all headed back home…and my vision went blur

After sahur, Wifey and I woke up late, rushed to do some work, then went to pick up Hana. I spent some time with Nisaa and Farhan before we left for Ampang Park because Wifey had to shop for some clothes for Medina and Yunus. Then I though I’d give Wifey and Hana a treat, berbuka puasa outside for the final time this year, by taking them to al-Rawsha. The queue was extremely long, and the food sucked big time. They should stick to ala carte.

If these had alcohol, they would have been labelled as Barbarian

Food at al-Rawsha

That night, Hana and Wifey made Hazelnut Suji for Hari Raya at another Hana’s place. I had to rush off to the Havana Club for a business meeting with Orang Kaya Besar Laxamana Gempita Gemgem al-Qohol, and the Forlorn Soldier.

Watching TV or making suji?

What’s cooking, Honey? And I don’t mean what’s in the oven!”

Hazelnut Suji – my favourite

Meeting location

Gemgem and the Forlorn Soldier in serious discussion

And today, we left KL for Batu Pahat at 3.45pm. Woke up at 10.45am and Wifey quickly made some rendang to take back with us. We got caught in the crawl just before the Sungai Besi toll, then between Nilai and Seremban. After that I was whacking between 140 to 150 on the highway. We made a quick stop at the Ayer Keroh R&R to buy some KFC chicken and to refuel.

We made it as far as Parit Yaani, or half an hour from Batu Pahat, when it was time to break fast, and we broke fast inside the car for the last time this year.

This has been a remarkable and wonderful Ramadhan for me – the first Ramadhan that I’ve been truly happy.

Hana SMSing with Fazira who was in Kedah

The usual crawl

Finally, almost there

Wifey having her KFC Zinger for berbuka puasa

So, my friends, Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin. Drive carefully to and from wherever your destination may be. With that, I leave you with P Ramlee’s original version of the all-time Hari raya favourite: DENDANG PERANTAU.

Dendang Perantau – P.Ramlee

September 27, 2008

Hari Raya Weather

This weather forecast is for dates commencing first Hari Raya (Wednesday 1st October 2008) through third Hari Raya (3rd October 2008) only:

Kangar: Day 1 – 3 morning and afternoon thunderstorms. Night no rain.

Alor Setar: Day 1 – 3 morning and afternoon thunderstorms. Night no rain.

Georgetown: Day 1 – 3 morning and afternoon thunderstorms. Night no rain.

Ipoh: Day 1 – 3 morning and afternoon thunderstorms. Night no rain.

Kuala Lumpur: Day 1 – 3: sunny.

Petaling Jaya: Day 1 – 3: sunny.

Shah Alam: Day 1 – 3: sunny.

Seremban: Day 1 – 3: sunny.

Melaka: Day 1 – 3: sunny.

Johor Bahru: Day 1 – 3: sunny.

Kuantan: Day 1 – 3: rain in the afternoon.

Kuala Terengganu: Day 1 – 3: sunny.

Kota Bharu: Day 1 – 3: sunny.

Kota Kinabalu: Day 1 – 3 afternoon thunderstorms. Morning and night no rain.

Kudat: Day 1 – 3 morning cloudy and afternoon thunderstorms. Night no rain.

Sandakan: Day 1: rain in the afternoon. Morning and night no rain. Days 2 & 3: sunny.

Tawau: Day 1 – 3: sunny.

Miri: Day 1 – 3: sunny.

Kuching: Day 1 – 3 morning and afternoon thunderstorms. Night no rain.

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT HARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI

September 22, 2008

Cook Spook

Nigella Lawson

Well, that’s Nigella Lawson up there.

I’m sitting here watching AFC, watching Vivien Tan cooking on the rooftop of some Singapore skyscraper, and began to wonder why can’t Malaysia cook up a cooking program like this, or like Nigella’s. With the exception of Chef Wan, there isn’t anything worth watching. Every single ‘celebrity’ chef will be addressing the audience with the formality of a minister.

“Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, sekarang kita hiris bawang ini halus-halus dengan pisau yang tajam ini, ya?”

What the fork is that? It sounds like some Tauhid session in a mosque after Isya’ prayers.

“Anak-anak, hari ni ustaz akan mengajar mengenai Sifat 20. Sifat yang pertama, ya anak-anak, ialah Wujud. Wujud itu maknanya Ada. Minggu depan kita belajar sifat yang kedua pulak, ya anak-anak?”

Don’t talk about camera angles, la. I doubt that they use MCP. Probably just a single camera and the cameraman’s somewhere in the cafetaria outside having coffee. Sometimes you have a chef cooking something, and they will put an actor or actress as a co-host of the show. And while the chef speaks in that formal tone as per above, you get this bimbo co-host parroting every single word because he/she hasn’t got as much as a rat’s ass-sized idea of what’s happening. Well, I cannot blame them since a squid would probably have a higher IQ than they.

Recently, Wifey pointed out to me that for the month of Ramadhan, they have a religious teacher as a co-host on one of RTM1’s cooking program. And while this chef is busy trying to explain to the audience about the process of cooking a meal, you have this ustaz giving lectures on morality and religion. What cow-shit-for-brain producer came out with that concept? Such a turn-off, that. Imagine this:

Chef: “Baiklah tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, sekarang kita buangkan kulit bawang ini sebab kita tidak memerlukannya.”

Ustaz: “Hatta diingatkan kepada semua supaya tidak membazir kerana perbuatan membazir ini adalah perbuatan rakan-rakan syaitan.”

Go eat the bleeding kulit bawang, you plonk! Why can’t this plonk of an ustaz do more research on the ingredients and find some religious connotation to the word “onion” or something.

Seriously, you watch a Singapore production, you know that they have positioned the program for worldwide distribution, while the ones produced in Malaysia will have to rely heavily on sponsors for airtime.

In the meantime, I shall enjoy watching some mamak cook something in a dirty kitchen in the back lane. More entertainment there.

September 15, 2008

The Best Ramadhan In Malaysia

While Malaysia was suffering from the ignominy of the stupid ISA issues, Wifey and I had had a good weekend with friends and family members.

We went back to KL from JB on the 3rd September and the whole weekend was spent with our children. The whole house was a circus for a while, especially when we had a potluck berbuka puasa with friends at home. Wifey made an excellent rendang that I still crave for now.

The array of food for berbuka

Wifey and friends whacking food

The following Monday we went for berbuka with my kids at my house in USJ. Wifey made mee hoon goreng and we bought some stuff as well.

Wifey, Hana and Fazira preparing the table

Wifey and I with Farhan and Nisaa

Later, we adjourned to the Old Town White Coffee at Jaya One to meet up and have sahur with Liverpool Babe, Rainmaker, Spena, Gemgem, and Bro Rina. It was a good outing that lasted 5 hours.

Gemgem talking about his compromised virginity to Rina and Spena

Old Town’s Nasi Lemak Special

The very next day, after berbuka at home with Wifey, Rainmaker, and Spena, we were asked to join Thebo and husband for supper at SS2 Murni. Gemgem, Liverpool Babe, and Bro Rina joined us as usual.

Liverpool Babe with Thebo and husband

Wifey’s Mee Raja

On the 10th, I went for a meeting with Gemgem at the Havana Club discussing some serious issues (for once!) before heading to the KFC outlet in Wangsa Maju for a farewell supper for Gombak4Life who was tasked to bring a certain typhoon to Taiwan for a month at least. For the first time we saw Liverpool Babe with a sad face.

Cuban cigar with sugarless tea

Husband and wife whacking chicken

Another berbuka session was held at our favourite haunt, Las Carretas and this session was attended by Bro Rina, Spena, Gemgem, and Liverpool Babe. This was Bro Rina‘s treat for Wifey and I before we head back to JB. As usual, I whacked the BBQ Beef Back Ribs. Oh, to sink my teeth into all that succulent meat again…

Beef Nachos

BBQ Beef Back Ribs

On the 13th, I went to say goodbye to my kids before heading out to Savor Jaya in Genting Highlands for a farewell do for Trisha.

Nisaa and I

Wifey, Douglas (Savor Jaya’s proprietor), Trisha and I

After that we left for Mersing and subsequently Tioman. Bro Rina and Spena convoyed with us from home, and we had sahur at a mamak joint in Kluang.

This mamak’s name is Yokohama a/l Appalasamy

Spena’s Nasi Goreng Kampung

We boarded the 6.30am ferry bound for Tioman. The rest slept before I did.

All fell asleep before departure

I wished then that Wifey was doing something more than just putting her head on my lap..haha!

I took Spena for a wreck dive at Roger Wreck. We did a shore dive, swimming out from Dive Asia to the buoy marking the location of the wreck, some 400 meters out. It was an excellent dive for both of us. It was Spena‘s first wreck dive. And oh…MK was there too…hahaha!

Spena checking out the wreck

Later, while waiting for berbuka, Wifey and I enjoyed the sunset, followed by a beautiful evening post-dinner.

Wifey and I enjoying the sunset

Salang Jetty at night

We had an excellent seafood dinner, with excellent company. Wifey and I feel that there has to be a repeat of this.

BBQ squids and Groupers with air asam

Ayam Chilli, Kailan Ikan Masin, and Taugeh Ikan Masin

This Ramadhan month will go down as the best in a long, long time. I have not enjoyed Ramadhan this much since I was in primary school. What more having the person I truly love by my side.

September 10, 2008

Kita Bertemu Kembali, Wahai Kawan-Kawan

95.

Kilogram, okay?

Itu berat aku semalam yang aku timbang semasa berpuasa dan belum melepas bom (bak kata arwah HM Busra dalam cerita Nujum Pak Belalang). Walau bagaimanapun, aku masih jauh dari berat aku sekitar awal tahun 2003 – 103 kilogram. Tetapi, bak slogan British Rail (kini dikenali sebagai National Rail) suatu masa dahulu, “We’re getting there.”

Asal berjumpa aje mesti makan. Baru berbuka, lepas tu boleh pergi lepak melantak lagi. Dah lah di JB kerja kitorang melantak aje. Sejak balik KL ni tak putus-putus melantak sambil bertemu sahabat handai yang memang makan pandai.

Juadah berbuka untuk 7th September 2008

Geng Kuat Makan