Category: Daily Whatevers

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MIDE 2008

MIDE 2007

It’s that time of the year again.

The Malaysia International Dive Exhibition 2008 commences today and will run until 6pm Sunday 6th July 2008. Yes, I’m at home right now, blogging, but shall be there later this afternoon at the MUW booth with the rest of the guys, as I will have to attend the Malaysia Sports Diving Association AGM at 6pm.

Tomorrow morning I will have to take Farhan to his kindergarten’s mini olympiad at the Bukit Jalil Stadium until noon, then make my way to MIDE, and for the reception hosted by the Sabah Tourism Board at 6pm.

However, have a look at the MIDE 08 website. The English used in it is horrible. I think the person who proof-read the website was trying to prove something.

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Terminating Bollywood

“Dey Rascal! I’ll be back!”

That’s what we would most likely hear coming out of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s mouth when and if he stars in a Holly-Bollywood collaboration.

I heard on the radio yesterday morning that Hollywood is now seeking more movie collaboration with its Indian counterparts, the Molly and Bollywoods. Another star that was reported to have the same idea is Will Smith. Maybe, the next title of his movie would be called “I am Lingam,” a movie about zombies that go around killing human beings by making a simple sounds like, “Korek! Korek! Korek!”

Will accent be a problem for Arnold?

“No problemo, Inspector Sahab!”

With his funny accent, I’m sure he’s going to be a hit. So let us look forward to a movie filled with funny English accent from Arnold and his Indian counterparts.

“Hasta la vista, Babuji!”

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How Christian Some Muslims Are

I am trying to point out how unIslamic Muslims have become by not trusting Allah’s Holy Quran but instead take the words of the scholars as if they’re gods.

Over two years ago I wrote in an UMNO forum in response to a member saying that women must cover up their hair. Of course I responded in the negative and challenged the person to show me where in the al-Quran does it say so, he never replied. In fact I challenged an Ulama on this matter, presenting the dalil in al-Quran, when all he could give back to me are: “According to this imam’s book, according to so and so…”. Those imams and so-and-so’s are their gods…not mine.

Before I begin, let me quote a verse from the Holy Quran in the chapter called THE PROPHETS (al-Anbiyaa’)21:24. Allah said:

“Have they found gods besides Him (Allah)? Say, “Show us your proofs. This Quran is my proof,it covers the present and the past.” Indeed most of them fail to recognise the truth, this is why they turn away.”

I don’t know how Islamic can one be by wearing or not wearing the tudung or hijjab. I don’t even know if it is Islamic to do that. The Quran only tells women to cover their breasts and to pull their outer garments over them. And for 1000 years or more, scholars are still debating whether Muslim women should cover their hair.

However, in the Bible, there is a clear order for women to cover their hair and their heads especially during prayer. Here is the reference:

Corinthians 11:5-6

“And every women who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonours her head – it is just as though as her head was shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgraced for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head.”

This reminds me of a few incidents where school children had had their hair cut by religious teachers, or their tudung cut shorter for not wearing the long tudung sometime in 2006 (NST – 25th Feb 2006). A school in Bukit Mertajam even withdrew their participation in a netball competition because their players were not wearing tudung.

Sheer blatant stupidity and ignorance on the part of the teachers. 30 years ago when I was schooling I never hear of such nonsense. it seems that deviationist Islam has rooted itself firmly within the minds of these teachers, and they abide by the words of their scholars without questioning the facts.

And what about Muslim men being told that it is the sunnah (tradition of the Prophet) to wear turban, have beard etc? They say that men must (bordering divinely compulsory) to wear turban and have beard like the Prophet, and do other things that the Prophet used to do. This brings me to another case of three boys who were expelled from school because the students were adamant to wear turban to school. A PAS lawyer represented them and told the court that WEARING THE TURBAN IS AN INTEGRAL PART OF ISLAM.

Another narrow minded bastard who is bent on misguiding Muslims, if you ask me. No where in the Holy Quran is mentioned about the wearing of the turban and robes and growing beards etc. However, in the Bible, those are mentioned as the accoutrements of the priests.

Exodus 28:4

“These are the garments they are to make: a breastpiece, an ephod, a woven tunic, a turban and a sash. They are to make these sacred garments for your brother Aaron and his sons, so they may serve Me as priests.”

Leviathan 21:5

“Priests must not shave their heads or shave off the edges of their beards or cut their bodies.”

Leviathan 19:27

“Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.”

So, there you have it. “Defenders” of the faith (scholars’ faith) will say of course it is not mentioned in the Holy Quran. It is the traditions (sunnah) of the Holy Prophet!

So why do they go to work in cars instead of camel-backs?

Let me just quote you from the Holy Quran again to underscore what I have been saying about the lies attributed to Allah and Muhammad conjured up by the so-called faithfuls for over a millenium:

THE FAMILY IMRAAN (Ali Imraan) 3:78

Some of them even twist their tongues to simulate the scripture, to make you think that it is from the scripture when it is not from the scripture, and claim that it is from God, when it is not from God. They invent lies and attribute them to God, knowingly.”

So if you are a woman and you are not wearing tudung, and if you are a man and you do not have a beard or wear turban and robe, then let it be known that you are not unIslamic; you are in fact very unChristian.

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June 8th And The After-Effects

I often wonder why is it a lot easier for me to get into KL dring peak hours nowadays since the fuel price hike. Apparently, DBKL has reported a 2% drop in the number of cars entering KL since the fuel price hike, when in May, it averaged at 561,000 cars. Public transportation companies on the other hand have reported an increase in passenger volume.

Jalan Imbi stretch - The Star
Jalan Imbi stretch during rush hour last week – The Star

The photo above was taken by The Star Thursday last week at 5.30pm after a heavy downpour. That stretch, to me, is the deadliest, and one of the reasons I do not like driving into KL especially after a downpour – yet, traffic was smooth there. The dreadful crawl before PWTC coming from Pak Leman too is a lot shorter, and gone before 8pm, whereas before June 8th, my blood pressure would have a bigger jump than the fuel price hike.

So…the recent fuel hike IS good for my blood pressure.

Unfortunately it isn’t.

Generally, people drive slower. Personally, I think that is fine until someone decides that the fast lane on the highway is for driving at 110km/h. No, it isn’t for driving at 110km/h. It is for overtaking. And once you have overtaken the car in front of you, move back to the center lane and make way for faster cars. Last night, there was this eagle-eyed Beemer (Beemer lagi!) in the fast lane doing 85km/h. And I got exasperated because he was going as fast as the lori babi in the center lane. What made it worse was the car behind me was flashing his beam, and I retaliated by flashing my middle finger. He pulled up alongside me and flashed his middle-finger. It was a guy wearing kopiah who must have overdosed on his Harakah and pissed off because Mas Idayu and Ella got to perform at the Malawati Stadium. He then went back behind me and tailgated. So I had no choice but to pull my handbrake. The car behind him almost hit him – but after that he kept his distance…like way back.

At a toll plaza, this guy drove ever so slowly and, without turning on his indicator light, started veering from the left-most lane, into the right-most where the Smart Tag lane is. At the last moment, he veered back left into a ticket lane. How annoying.

Then somewhere near Ampang yesterday, I heard a loud noise. it sounded very much like a fogging machine. It was a Proton Saga with an exhaust that has a hole the size where an elephant bull’s private member might fit in snugly. He overtook me and entered my lane ahead of me, then slowed down to 30km/h – on a dual carriageway. And he had the most annoying array of little Manchester United jerseys hanging on the rear screen. Then I overtook the car to have a look at the driver. He was wearing a Manchester United jersey. He must have been on his way to a certain Craven Cafe thinking EPL is on and not Euro 2008. He’s probably from a certain boarding school in Melaka or something because only people from there are capable of having that kind of limited IQ…going to KFC and orders a Big Mac.

Anyway, I have identified several routes to get to Yummy Baby‘s place. The farthest is 35km (toll: RM4.50 return), second is 33km (toll is RM6.70 ONE WAY), and third is 32km (toll is RM7.40 ONE WAY). At 2km/Ringgit, I’d go for the distance, unless KLites start to drive again and jam up all the roads like pre-8th June.

Dang! RM50 isn’t worth anything anymore nowadays.

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Monday 23rd June

it’s been a year since I last spoke to my parents and siblings on a happy note, as well as face to face.

I am my family now. I, alone.

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The Fog

How many of you actually believe in the supernatural? How many of you have actually seen ghosts?

I was about 5 when I saw a ghost in the form of a scary looking old woman when we were staying in this old government quarters in Melaka. My father used to lock me inside this storeroom. It was pitch black because it didn’t have any window. And this old woman would appear behind me.

I learnt much later that almost all, including my father, had encountered this apparition.

The quarters we lived in when my father was the Inspector-General of Police was equally haunted. We’d hear of rapping within the walls, my bed was tossed about ala The Exorcist, and something would fly part the window.

Have you had your own encounters? Tell us about it.

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Lonely Dinner

There we were having dinner at Le Meridien. She looked superb as always, with her usual sweet smile she throws at me. I was in my scuba t-shirt and Garson track bottom and slippers.

The waiter came to serve our order of Giant’s instant noodles. I know it looks cheap for such a place but I attribute that to my craving. As we were about to start eating, my daughter Nisaa appeared next to me.

“Ayah, nak tissue,” she began. I was like, when on earth did I bring Nisaa along on this el-cheapo romantic dinner?

“Ayah, nak tissue.”

I thought this can’t be real. Her voice was louder than everyone else’s in the restaurant put together. I closed my eyes, then re-opened. It was almost pitch dark. There she was, eyes closed saying, “Ayah, nak susu.”

I reluctantly got up, half-wishing I could still go back to that dream, back to Yummy Baby whom I miss but alas, I have to return to reality.

Back to the perils of single-parenthood.

(This post was made using my new Nokia N95 phone and posted from Ah Pek Kopitiam using its wifi connection)

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Phee, Meurai Ja Klab Ban?

While driving back from dinner with Yummy Baby, Spena, and Oja, we talked about Koh Lipe, Koh Adang, Thai radio, then suddenly I was singing the Thai National Anthem (Phleng Chart Thai).

15 years ago, every single door on my office block would have the name tags written in Thai, so much so that my Commanding Officer, Colonel Shahron Ibrahim (now Lieutenant-General Dato’ Hj Shahron Ibrahim, RMAF – Chief of Staff of the Malaysian Armed Forces HQ) would frequently have problems finding his way to my office. I mean, he didn’t know which door to enter. And my staff and I would be speaking in Thai. Every morning at 9am (8am Thai time) the radio, tuned to a Thai radio station, would pipe in the Thai National Anthem and we would be singing: Prathet Thai ruam leuad neua chart chuea thai, pen pracha rat pha-thai korng thai thook suan and so on.

Thai was very much my life, having to alternate between my base in Alor Setar and the office in Songkhla, where my staff there, Flight Sergeant Abd Karim Abd Aziz from Pengkalan Hulu in Perak (he served with me once before at the Air Training HQ where I was the Adjutant and before that as SO3 Programming), and my signalman, Corporal Ahmad bin Morad a.k.a Mat Spring from Pendang, Kedah, were based permanently. Joining me from Alor Setar would be my team members, Sergeant Uzaid Ahmad, Corporal Rozamin Daud, Leading Aircraftman Dahlan Dahaman, Corporal Ali (whom I still maintain contact until now and Yummy Baby‘s heard us conversing in Thai), Corporal Md Fodzi Taib, and Leading Aircraftman Abdull bin Me. Ali and Abdull are Thai descendants, while Mat Spring is married to a Thai citizen.

Those were the good old days – it was tensed nevertheless as Southern Thai was as volatile then as it is now and a simple bomb blast would see us being sent to the location almost immediately to verify the situation. But life was good then. After a 24-hour duty, I would drive my Proton Saga (we were not allowed to drive Malaysian military vehicles across the border) to the Samilla Beach, buy a plate of fried chilli crabs for 10 Baht, sit on a mat facing the sea, wallop the crabs and sleep before driving back to my quarters at the Tanah Merah camp near Jenan.

I missed Thailand when I was transferred back to sit in a Major’s post as the Head of the Special Investigations Branch of the RMAF Provost Marshall’s Office. Life was so hectic there with lots of investigations to conduct, and seriously understaffed; I was flying to almost all the airbases in Malaysia on a daily basis, so much so that I had to forgo my resettlement training prior t leaving the service. As a matter of fact, after leaving the Air Force, I was still attending courts-martial on cases I prosecuted because I was still subjected to the Armed Forces Act, 1972, for three months after my run-out-date.

But Thailand was always on my mind.

In 1996, after my first wife and I separated, I went back to Thailand with friends during fasting month just to be able to have that feel of brotherhood with the Thai muslims, breaking fast with them at a mosque somewhere in Amphoe Sadao.

In 1997, being single, I went completely Thai especially during the International Parachuting Competition at the Phra Ram 6 Camp in Cha-Am north of Hua Hin, when I represented Malaysia. For 12 days there I spoke Thai and virtually Thai only. That was fun.

And soon, my job took me back there, mainly in Bangkok, and I spent quite some time there. Even when I was stationed in Langkawi, I would just take the last ferry out, spend a night in Hat Yai, then take the first flight out to Bangkok and spend the weekend there before flying back to KL. Just so that I could sit by the banks of the Chao Phraya river watching boats and ships ply.

For those who do not know, the Thais have two anthems. One is the National Anthem mentioned above that they would play twice daily (8am and 6pm), then there is also the Royal Anthem (Phleng Sansasoen Phra Barami) that is played during state functions, or when a member of the royal family is present, or before a movie starts. The royal anthem is also played on TV at the beginning and ending of the daily transmission.

I remember I went to watch a movie at the Emporium on Sukhumvit soi 24 with Bee, my friend’s secretary. After the trailers and adverts, an announcement was made for all to stand in respect for the King, and the royal anthem was played. I started singing Kha wora phutta chao, ao mano lae si rakran and Bee just looked at me in disbelief. Here I am, a foreigner, singing the royal anthem that many yuppies don’t even remember the lyrics to. She never asked me anything until after the movie when we walked at the Benjasiri Park (The Queen’s Park) when all activities came to a halt at 6pm when the National Anthem was played, and I sang along.

“Are you sure you are not Thai?” she asked me in Thai, to which I just smiled.

Khidtheung meuang Thai…yark ja ronghai!

Chao Phraya and Temple - Arrakeen

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Pemeriksaan Kebenaran

Aku pandang aje surat dari drebar van sekolah budak-budak ni. Disebabkan kenaikan harga minyak mendadak maka dia menaikkan tambang sebanyak €3.18 seorang. Ini bermakna 5 orang anak yang ke sekolah menjadikan jumlah kenaikan sebanyak RM80.00. Jadi duit van sekolah aje dah RM480. Yuran bulanan sekolah Farhan RM230.

Bil api dan air kebiasaannya sebanyak RM600 sebulan. Duit belanja budak-budak ni sebulan RM85. Barang dapur lebih kurang RM1000 sebulan. Budak-budak ni memang kaki pelahap, terutamanya si kenit Nisaa tu dengan kakak-kakaknya yang membalun Maggi tengah malam buta. Minyak aku sehari RM70 menjadikan RM2100 sebulan. Tol RM500 sebulan. Broadband, telefon, ASTRO lebih kurang RM780.

Semuanya berjumlah RM5775.00 sebulan. Ini tak termasuk benda-benda lain.

Dan aku tak tahu mana punya baghal yang menganjurkan tunjuk perasaan anti-kenaikan minyak semalam. Memang pukimak punya laknat dasar mak bapak main dengan babi. Menyusahkan orang. Dah lah harga minyak naik, buat orang ramai terperangkap dalam jam menghabiskan minyak.

Dasar pantat mak bernanah masa lahirkan diorang. Kecik-kecik tak nak mampus, dah besar menyusahkan orang.