Month: August 2011

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Hatyai Accord: The Failure of the Domino Theory – Part 1

Very early one morning as I prepared to go to school, I could hear a distant dull explosion, followed a bit later by the rattle of the window panes. It was 1975, 7 years into the Second Emergency. It preceded the assassination of the then Chief Police Officer of Perak, Tan Sri Khoo Chong Kong (November 1975), and in turn was preceded by the assassination of the then Inspector-General of Police, Tan Sri Abdul Rahman Hashim. These events were among the reasons that drove me to serve in the Malaysian Armed Forces and managed to join the later part of the Second Emergency campaign.

The Communist Party of Malaya (CPM) has its roots from the South Seas Communist Party (SSCP), otherwise known as the Nanyang Communist Party, that was headquartered in Singapore. The latter was formed by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) in 1922. Since communism was introduced to this region by Dutch radicals, the SSCP’s theater of operations were mainly focused in the Dutch East Indies, infiltrating trades unions and disrupting lives. The SSCP attempted an uprising in 1925 which was crushed by the Dutch East Indies authorities and retreated to Singapore where they grouped up. In 1930, the SSCP was dissolved and the Communist Party of Malaya was born.

We all know what happened during the post-war years preceding the First Malayan Emergency. But let me add a point to make people understand a fact here. In my Twitter profile, I described myself as …not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally. This is to show my political stand (or the virtual absence of it). I have friends on both sides of the political fence. One thing I cannot stand is stupidity and blind loyalty. The left-leaning side (depending on which compass direction you are facing) claims that the Tunku, Tun Abdul Razak, Tun Hussein Onn and Tun Mahathir were not freedom fighters. They have been accused as British lackeys, serving the Colonial government’s interests. I guess I will have to forgive them for their lack of knowledge in history before I bludgeon any of them for their sheer stupidity, but:

Tunku Abdul Rahman, Tun Abdul Razak, Tun Hussein Onn and Tun Dr Mahathir all came from the states of Kedah, Pahang and Johor. When were these states under Colonial rule at any time other than during the brief Malayan Union period?

I should bludgeon the right-leaning side as well for not noticing the above for their defence. Shame on you.

The CPM was organised into the Malayan People’s Anti-British Army but changed that to the Malayan People’s Liberation Army (MPLA) with the aim to set-up the People’s Democratic Republic of Malaya (and Singapore). I guess most of us know the connotation of the name, and countries that had inherited the name, such as the People’s Democratic Republic of Korea (aka North Korea).

The MPLA was supported by the CPM’s civilian organisation named Min Yuen. This organisation organised supplies for the MPLA.

The first Malayan General Elections was held in 1955, and Malaya had its first Chief Minister: Tunku Abdul Rahman, whose first act was to bring peace to the nation by declaring partial amnesty to members of the CPM. This partial amnesty was called off 6 months later with only 17 members of the CPM surrendering.

I will also not dwell so much on the details of the First Emergency (1948-1960), but for those not in the know, there was the first National Service registration in the late 1950s after we gained our independence. Some 240,000 registered to combat the communists, or 17 percent of the 1.4 million inhabitants of Malaya then. 20,000 were called up, but only 1500 reported for training. All of them were absorbed into the Federation of Malaya Police Force.

Then, there was a second National Service registration in 1958, but those registered were never called up because by then the members of the CPM realised that the independent Government of the Federation of Malaya, headed by the Tunku and backed by the parties representing the Malays, Chinese and Indians, was not offering any more amnesty and was adamant to obliterate the CPM. This drove the members to surrender by the hundreds, wave after wave, that in the middle of 1958 the CPM, whose MPLA was active only in Perak and South Johor by 1957, had to fall back to the Thai side of the border. Chin Peng and his Central Executive Committee had of course retreated in 1953 when the tide started to turn against the CPM.

In 1960, the Government of the Federation of Malaya declared the Malayan Emergency (First Emergency) over.

I WILL WRITE ABOUT THE CPM IN THE 1960s AND THE SECOND EMERGENCY

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Running Dogs

Running Dog – a literal translation from the Mandarin words zu gu, used to depict a servile follower or a lackey

Short of a month six years ago, Ronnie Liu of the DAP attempted to get the sympathy of Malaysians towards Chin Peng et al. I hold the view that Man must seek knowledge and truth for justice to prevail. But Ronnie Liu’s was doing a white-wash by equating the communists’ struggle to nationalism by describing the clamping of the British on PKMM in 1947 as the reason the communists took drastic action to free the Tanah Melayu from colonisation when in fact PKMM sided with the Malayan Union in 1946 by working with AMCJA and PUTERA that have close ties with the CPM. It was on 1st April 1946 that PKMM supported and welcomed the appointment of Sir Edward Gent as the Governor of the Malayan Union.

The CPM had been around since the 1930s if not earlier, and with the capitulation of the Kuomintang in China, the CPM was more interested in making the Tanah Melayu a China-leaning satellite communist state.

Body of a policeman at the Bukit Kepong police station burnt by the communist terrorists
Body of a policeman at the Bukit Kepong police station burnt by the communist terrorists

Fast-forward to the present day, where the VP of PAS, Mohammad Sabu (aka Mat Sabu) glorified Mat Indera, leader of the 4th Company of the CPM that attacked the Bukit Kepong police station and massacred the police personnel as well as family members in February 1950, as the true heroes of the nation. At the same time, he claimed that the policemen who had died in that tragedy were officers of the British Empire (read Mat Sabu hina pejuang negara – Utusan Malaysia 27th August 2011.

Mat Sabu had said the above when giving a political ceramah at Tasek Gelugor, Pulau Pinang on the 21st August 2011.

Mat Sabu glorifying the communist terrorists at Tasek Gelugor (Utusan Malaysia)
Mat Sabu glorifying the communist terrorists at Tasek Gelugor (courtesy of Utusan Malaysia)

Mat Sabu also went on to describe Dato’ Onn Jaafar and Tunku Abdul Rahman as British officers. Six years ago, Ronnie Liu went on the same line by saying UMNO and MCA were British lackeys, or “friends of the British.”

Mat Indera, Samsiah Pakeh and a few other Malays who joined the CPM were mostly Indonesian nationalists from Sumatera whose people were not of the Sultan’s people. Therefore, they look to the Indonesian freedom struggle for inspiration.

What Mat Indera did to the survivors of the Bukit Kepong massacre who could not escape in time is nothing to be proud of, even if he is to be regarded as a nationalist. He and his men burned the police station and quarters down and even threw children of the deceased policemen into the flames alive. Mat Indera was later captured and hung to death.

When the Persekutuan Tanah Melayu gained independence in 1957, the CPM did not lay down arms. In fact, their struggle to turn Malaya into a communist satellite continued for another 3 years despite pulling out of Malaya in defeat in 1953 and headquartered in southern Thailand. There was a brief lull until they resumed with the Second Emergency in 1969. If they were truly fighting for independence, why then did they go on killing thousands up until 1989? Let us also not forget that when Malaysia was formed in 1963, Chin Peng refused to acknowledge the legitimacy of Malaysia and joined forces with the Indonesian Armed Forces during the Indonesian Confrontation to crush Malaysia. So, can you call Chin Peng a nationalist?

Chin Peng, Mat Indera et al contributed to Malaysia nothing more than the wastage and destruction of wealth and lives.

As for UMNO and MCA being friends of the British, I hope both Mat Sabu and Ronnie Liu could explain then why did Sir Gerald Templer call Aziz Ishak a rat? Ronnie Liu’s blatant attempt to paint that the independence was given on a silver platter by the British to the Alliance is nothing more than a display of ignorance, one that is now being parroted by a lower-IQed Mat Sabu.

Why did Tunku and the Alliance members who won their federal, state and municipal seats walk out of these chambers in protest?

Why did Tunku and T.H. Tan have to lobby their friends in the British Parliament before the Colonial Secretary would see them?

I hope and pray that Mat Sabu will give such a talk in military bases as well police stations; not forgetting also to veterans of the security forces and wait long enough to see what they think.

As for me, it is my opinion which you may not share, that Ronnie Liu is the CPM’s running dog, while Mat Sabu is DAP’s running dog.

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Suara Takbir

Selamat Menyambut Hari Raya dan Ulangtahun Kemerdekaan ke-54
Selamat Menyambut Hari Raya dan Ulangtahun Kemerdekaan ke-54

“Kini tiba masanya
Hati gembira di Hari Raya
Bertemu sanak dan saudara
Bermaaf-maafan dengan keikhlasan”
–Suara Takbir by Tan Sri P Ramlee

It’s that time of the year again for all Muslims worldwide, soon celebrating that day in their very own way. For the inhabitants of the Nusantara it’s the exodus back to their respective hometown, celebrating it with parents and kinsfolk that makes what Hari Raya Aidil Fitri is. For kids, it is that time of the year they get to be with cousins at their grandparents. For as far back as I can remember, that for me, would be in the early 1970s.

I can still remember the crisp cool morning air as we cousins wake up’ the younger cousins might not remember the old well by the side of the house. When they were old enough to remember anything, water was pumped from the well using the electric motor. Anyway, us cousins would queue outside the well a la P Ramlee. then get dressed in our Hari Raya best before walking to the village mosque for the Aidil Fitri prayers.

My late grandparents' house, now being rented out
My late grandparents’ house, now being rented out

We would have returned to my grandparents’ a few days earlier. The ladies would have slogged it out in the kitchen area making rendang, curry and so on while the men would have made lemang, ketupat, dodol. At around 6.30pm, just before berbuka (those days Peninsula Malaysia was 1/2 hour behind the current time), we would light up the pelitas, then take our place on the floor with the other cousins, while the grandparents, parents, uncles and aunts would occupy the two dining tables. After the final berbuka, we cousins would be with our sparklers and firecrackers ’til late.

The last time we all went back for Hari Raya as a family to my grandparents’ was back late January 1998. When I left their house for KL with my brother the day after, it never occurred to me that it would be our last Hari Raya with them, and that was also the last time I spoke to my grandfather when he was still alive. Unbeknownst to us, he was already suffering from cerebral haemorrhage from an accident a month earlier. He would slip into a coma some two weeks later and never recovered.

My grandmother passed away exactly six months later.

My uncle lived in that house with my cousins until he, too, passed away from an accident four years later. The house has been rented out since. My cousins, siblings and I still yearn to go back to a kampung we could call ours, where we could enjoy that crisp morning air, enjoy making rendang, dodol, ketupat, lemang, kuih together – and this time see our children play sparklers together.

My paternal grandfather passed away in 1952, while my paternal grandmother passed away in May 1983.

For those of you who still have a kampung to return to, do so. And do so safely so that you could return to your kampung year in year out.

As for me, I can only share my wife’s kampung and envy her.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA DAN SELAMAT MENGHAYATI ULANGTAHUN KEMERDEKAAN KITA YANG KE-54

My late grandparents in Bangkok (1994)
My late grandparents in Bangkok (1994)

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Dogs of Whore

In March 2008, I decided to go diving during the general elections. I was there a few days before voting day. What made me decide to spend my time on the island was the braggadocio of UMNO personalities, some of whom got very personal and attacked my father in the mainstream media. I had left UMNO 3 years prior to that so I could remain my personal self. But I returned the eve of voting day to vote for my then ADUN from MCA because I believe he did a good job. Alas, he suffered a great defeat at the hands of a newcomer from DAP not because the latter is good, but MCA suffered from the braggadocio mentioned above. I am sure we have ALL not forgotten the keris-wielding issue; the constant barking at committee members of BN’s component parties by people whose head got so big because the then-Prime Minister was asleep on the job, and they thought a certain someone would be a big-enough umbrella to protect them.

“PADAN DENGAN MUKA (serves you right)”

That was my reaction when I woke up on 9th March 2008, and I’m sure many UMNO members felt the same then. As bitter sweet as it was, it was a wake-up call for those whom had been silent to start kicking out filth from the BN. And before any of you PR-sympathizers can say anything, I’ll say it for you:

“THERE WAS A HELL LOT OF FILTH TO BE KICKED OUT”

Of course, a broom does not sweep 100% efficiently, some dust remain.

When Najib took over the helm, I see some changes being done; but this positive trend is, from time to time, dragged down by characters that did not get to be swept by the broom. Despite not getting swept by the broom or appointed to any Deputy Ministerial post, Khairy Jamaluddin is like that accumulated dust that gets longer by the day, rearing its ugly head every now and then when the wind blows strong enough in its direction.

Several weeks ago, while the rest of the Malaysian Twitter world was discussing an important topic, Khairy (or KJ as he is known) decided to take on the extra-terrestrial TV-channel provider, ASTRO, claiming the fee charged is exorbitant compared to the service provided. When I pointed out to him that there are more pressing matters that he, as the UMNO Youth Chief and a Member of Parliament, should be addressing, he blew up and said that ASTRO is of interest to the rakyat. I love the thought process that goes through that empty shell sitting on his neck. Maybe he ought to remember that there is always free terrestrial TV available 24/7, and all they have to do is pay for the electricity bill. ASTRO is a luxury, not a necessity. If you cannot afford it, don’t subscribe to it.

I have been Tweeting since 2009, but I kept my tweets private because I use it as a form of communication with relatives. I started addressing “national” issues during the recent Sarawak State Elections. After BERSIH2.0, I made my tweets public. In engagements with politicians from the Opposition, I find that when they get cornered, they block you. Well, there have you: the advocates for freedom of speech. The politicians from UMNO, however, are mostly quiet because although they have a Twitter account, their Blackberry is mostly for sending SMS. Yes, I still believe that UMNO politicians are still trapped in that Buku Hijau period, and probably still think that public phones (which you can hardly find anymore) still have buttons ‘A’ and ‘B.’. For the benefit of those born after 1975, this is what I am talking about:

Old public phone - courtesy of Everything KL
Telefon Awam jenis A/B courtesy of Everything Kuala Lumpur

Anyway, for KJ, whenever he gets cornered, or is about to get cornered, he will unleash his dogs. Let us take yesterday’s episode. Early yesterday, he and Zaki Zahid were talking about Lim Kit Siang’s demand that the Parliamentary Select Committee (PSC) on Electoral Reforms be headed by a MP from the Opposition. I could see that there was a ding dong of this issue and it looked like it was going nowhere. So I interjected by saying:

The PSC should be co-chaired by an ex-General of the Armed Forces, and an ex-IGP

Of course there was no reply. Then later in the day, the MIC Youth’s Secretary, Sivaraajh Chandran, got his membership suspended for questioning the party President’s decision to admit the three Gerakan Anti-Samy members and reinstate them to their former MIC posts which is a breach of party constitution. When something goes wrong in a household, whom do you expect to handle the problem if not family members themselves, right?

WRONG! According to KJ, he has every right to barge into MIC’s affairs and dictate. The following are the tweets pertaining to this fray:

Khairykj Khairy Jamaluddin
Jadi Menteri terus bunuh bakat muda? Wassup @GPalanivel? RT @mkini_bm: Setiausaha Pemuda MIC digantung 12 bulan

SangSapurba Wan Mohd Shahrir
Eloknya @Khairykj tak perlu campur urusan dalam MIC.

Khairykj Khairy Jamaluddin
@SangSapurba Saya Pengerusi Pemuda Barisan Nasional. Faham?

SangSapurba Wan Mohd Shahrir
@Khairykj ok faham, cuma harap jgn jadi tikus membaiki labu. Good luck!

seademon John F SeaDemon
@Khairykj I think it would be wiser for you to speak personally to @GPalanivel together with @TMohan18 instead

SangSapurba is a lawyer from Pahang who is an active UMNO member, while TMohan18 is the MIC Youth Chief. KJ did not take this advice kindly:

Khairykj Khairy Jamaluddin
@seademon And I think it would be wiser for to understand that Parliamentary Select Committee only for MPs not ex-Generals

seademon John F SeaDemon
@Khairykj really? And what has that got to do with your barging in on MIC’s internal problems?

Khairykj Khairy Jamaluddin
@seademon Haha. Oh, if it were that simple. Just telling you to know your stuff before advising ppl this & that.

seademon John F SeaDemon
@Khairykj and it’s condescending tone like yours towards other parties that cost BN the 5 states

Khairykj Khairy Jamaluddin
@seademon There are different ways and means of putting something across. You assume I haven’t made calls to find out what’s going on.

seademon John F SeaDemon
@Khairykj ah! The all too powderful Pengerusi Pemuda BN, eh? Your phone is obviously for tweeting only. You could’ve called @GPalanivel

seademon John F SeaDemon
I assume nothing. Remember this tweet? RT @Khairykj Jadi Menteri terus bunuh bakat muda? Wassup @GPalanivel?

There was no reply from him. I asked again:

seademon John F SeaDemon
@Khairykj so did you call @GPalanivel BEFORE or AFTER you made that tweet?

Again, there was no response. Not long after, enter the dogs of whore:

Edzfahmi edzrul fahmi Mohamed
@seademon @Khairykj @GPalanivel Ko nak gag order YB KJ ke seademon? Kang kata PPUM takda taring pulak. Pemuda kena bersuara lantang.

seademon John F SeaDemon
@Edzfahmi @Khairykj bersuara lantang against who? Eh, why am I talking to you?

I did not see the need to entertain this dog.

Edzfahmi edzrul fahmi Mohamed
@Khairykj @seademon Macam la MIC ada nilai tambah pon. Sedemon u barking up the wrong tree la.

daxmuhamad dax muhamad
@Khairykj @seademon dont see why kj cant air his views on matter.

seademon John F SeaDemon
@daxmuhamad @Khairykj now what if someone from another component party for whatever reason does the same to @NajibRazak ?

Edzfahmi edzrul fahmi Mohamed
@seademon @Khairykj Aikk..ko twitter ni ko punya ke?

seademon John F SeaDemon
There is such a thing called DECORUM when it comes to handling matters pertaining to component parties. @daxmuhamad @Khairykj

While this went on, I received BBMs from friends who told me to ignore those dogs. Then one of them got personal:

Edzfahmi edzrul fahmi Mohamed
@seademon @Khairykj @daxmuhamad Knp Seademon u frust ke Ayah mentua u dulu tak dpt jadi MB Johor? Dato Mat Zahri ek? SB tak line clear ke?

Obviously this person, whose mother made it out with a dog and never washed herself after and subsequently gave birth to this imbecile, does not know me well. According to the electronic media, my father and other directors of the company he works for earn an average of RM100 million per annum, do I need my father-in-law as the Menteri Besar?

So, there have you, the Ketua Pemuda UMNO cum Pengerusi Pemuda Barisan Nasional is just an air-head who rears dogs to do his dirty work for him. Just when I thought it was safe to vote for Najib’s aspirations, I know now that I should just plan another dive trip come GE13.

Would I vote for BN? NO.

Would I vote for PR? NO.

Talking about dogs, does any of you remember this?

Big Dog’s Christian PM claim reckless, says Khairy

“Don’t be so arrogant Fat Dog. If you’re wrong, the consequences are grave and extremely serious.

“I think if you’re proven wrong you should be charged w/ spreading false news and/or sedition. Berani buat, berani tanggung (dare to do, dare to take responsibility),” Khairy wrote on Twitter earlier.

In light of what has happened at the Damansara Utama Methodist Church, maybe the all-knowing KJ should offer to resign for not knowing.

DAFT PRICK!

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The Cult of Public Bank

I saw the trending topic on Twitter (#tansriteh) and wondered what it was all about. Then I found out about the Cult of Public Bank.

Cult is actually a nice way of saying not many people like you.

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Murtads

Online social networks are fun places; you get to meet all kinds of people from all over the world. One such group is the Murtads in Malaysia and Singapore on Facebook. The description of the group reads as follows:

Islamic apostates in Malaysia and those who support them. This group has the goal to network the apostates of Islam from Malaysia and those who would like to offer support and discuss about this issue.

The Apostates in Malaysia group offers a safe place for those who are trapped by Islam in Malaysia. Feel free to introduce yourself, share your stories and concerns, anything you like. This place is especially for you. 🙂

By government orders, Faith Freedom International (faithfreedom.org) is currently banned by every ISP in Malaysia. Internet usage is also highly monitored in Malaysia today. Those found to be accessing and/or publishing disagreeable contents according to the Malaysian government and the Islamic government of Malaysia are subject to arrest and up to a heavy degree of indeterminable punishment. Apostasy, according to a fatwa issued my the Islamic government of Malaysia, a national security threat and treason. Therefore, for security reasons, I encourage those who are apostates especially in Malaysia to use a secondary Facebook account to participate in this group.

Everyone is welcomed to join this group and participate in the discussions. Being an apostate is such an intimate and troubling concern to individuals who are affected in Malaysia, therefore it only makes sense that we have compassion as there is already weight of the burden that they carry – this can be a wonderful place for everyone if we decide to make the conscious effort to be nice to each other here 🙂

Even more surprising is to find several known figures from Malaysia that include Raja Petra, Boo Cheng Hau (DAP), Xavier Jayakumar (PKR), and Ean Yong (DAP):

Murtad One

Murtad Two

Murtad Three

Murtad Four

Friends of PAS, I presume.

(Images taken with thanks from Cucu Tok Selampit‘s blog.

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The Church, The Mosque, and The Ugly

First was the revelation of an attempt to proselytize several Muslims at a church; then came the protest at the mosque last Friday. Then, the following comment was made on Free Malaysia Today‘s website.

Screen capture of the comment on Apanama's site
Screen capture of the comment insulting Islam (taken from Apanama’s Blog

This was totally uncalled for. I must say, using the Decalogue (also known as “The Ten Commandments“) to hit at others is not the smartest thing to do. Islam forbids me to say bad things about the Prophets (Quran 2:285), so I shall not go down to the level of the commentator. However, I shall hit out at the lack of understanding of the very Decalogue he/she had mentioned. I shall quote excerpts from the Book of Deuteronomy:

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT: “I AM YOUR LORD GOD, WHO BROUGHT YOU OUT OF THE LAND OF EGYPT, OUT OF THE HOUSE OF SLAVERY; YOU SHALL HAVE NO OTHER GODS BESIDE ME”

Explain, the concept of the Holy Trinity.

THE SECOND COMMANDMENT: “YOU SHALL NOT MAKE FOR YOURSELF AN IDOL, WHETHER IN THE FORM OF ANYTHING THAT IS IN HEAVEN ABOVE, OR THAT IS ON THE EARTH BENEATH, OR THAT IS IN THE WATER UNDER THE EARTH. YOU SHALL NOT BOW DOWN TO THEM OR WORSHIP THEM; FOR I THE LORD, YOUR GOD, IS A JEALOUS GOD.”

Explain, the Crucifix, the Statue of Mary, and of other Saints.

I can go on and on about the Decalogue but at the risk of hurting the feelings of my Malaysian Christian brothers. Do I need to dwell on that? No. There should be inter-religious respect, protecting of each other’s religion, and not back-stabbing one another (stealing of followers, or spread lies about another religion). The commentator, having claimed good knowledge of the Decalogue should remember this:

THE NINTH COMMANDMENT (EIGHTH COMMANDMENT FOR THE ROMAN CATHOLICS AND LUTHERANS): NEITHER SHALL YOU BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST YOUR NEIGHBOUR.”

So, just shut the fuck up and stop trying to incur God’s Wrath.

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Mana Ada Sistem

So, Nazri Aziz has announced of a settlement deal between the Government and Tajuddin Ramli over legal cases involving the latter and several Government-linked companies (GLCs) that includes a case of breach of contract. The GLCs are Atlan Holdings Bhd., Naluri Corp Bhd., Telekom Malaysia Bhd., Pengurusan Danaharta Nasional Bhd., and Malaysia Airlines (MAS).

In light of the recent MAS-Air Asia fishy tale, people are wary of this deal announced by Nazri. He said the proposal was made after Tajudin approached certain ministers for help in the matter. He was quoted to have said:

“What is wrong to settle the matter? The cases did not go for trial (yet)”

Of course it doesn’t look wrong if you look at it that way. What of the moral duty to the rakyat whose government’s GLCs have suffered for almost a decade because of wrongdoings? Would it not send the wrong signal to other CEO of GLCs?

You know who, you know how, you can go home now.

Mana Ada Sistem?

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OR-CARE! Part 3

Siapa yang tak faham OR-CARE! tu merujuk kepada jin, atau binatang, atau orang, sila layari posting-posting berikut: OR-CARE! dan OR-CARE part 2.

Entahlah.

Kadang-kadang aku tak faham nasib aku ni.

Kat area dining dalam rumah aku tu ada dua jenis entrance. Pintu daun biasa yang ada satu tombol berserta extra lock; dan sliding “door.”

Satu malam minggu lepas, lepas bersahur, aku tengok pintu daun biasa tu tak berkunci. Aku pun tanyalah si OR-CARE ni kenapa tak berkunci. Dia jawab dalam bahasa aliennya (yang aku lebih kurang faham):

“Iya. Sudah!”

Bila aku tanya kenapa pulak sampai time gitu pun tak berkunci jugak, dia jawab:

“Iya. Sudah dikunci tapi bibik lupa untuk kuncinya.”

Boleh?

Malam-malam berikutnya eloklah berkunci pintu tu. Maka, subuh pada hari aku nak balik kampung minggu lepas, hati aku rasa tak sedap. So, aku check pulak sliding door.

TAK BERKUNCI!!!

Tak sempat aku nak remind dia pasal sliding door tu. Aku pun balik ke kampung dengan wife aku untuk beberapa hari. Bila dah balik ke rumah, satu malam lepas sahur, aku check lagi sliding door.

MASIH TAK BERKUNCI!!!

Dan perkara ni berlaku lagi malam tadi.

So, pagi tadi bila aku alihkan kereta aku supaya tak block kereta anak aku (pukul 4 pagi ye kawan-kawan), aku tengok si OR-CARE ni keluar juga untuk membuang sampah dapur. so, aku pun ambik la kesempatan ni untuk nak beritahu dia pasal sliding door yang tak berkunci tu.

AKU: “Bibik, kakak udah kasi duit gaji bibik?”

OR-CARE: “Gaji….(pause 5 saat)….duit…(pause lagi 5 saat)…udah (pause 5 saat lagi)….terimah kasih”…(pause 5 saat)….SENGIH MACAM KERANG BUSUK

Aku tak faham kenapa banyak sangat pause tu. Mungkin dia belum clearkan cache memorynya; dan aku tak expect model alien macam dia ada virtual memory. Jadi bila RAM penuh, system slow.

AKU: “Bik, (sambil tunjuk ke arah sliding door) pintu tu tak berkunci malam tadi.”

OR-CARE: (sambil pandang ke arah jari aku dengan penuh blank) “Iya (pause 5 saat)…udah dikunci.”

Aku: “Saya yang kunci pintu tu malam tadi. Dah 3 malam dah pintu tu tak berkunci.”

OR-CARE: “Ya Allah! Tiga malam? Ingat bibik udah dikunci. Lupa bibik! Masfafnjsw;gbsdjka*(&^76r senr9yq39230902 ssdpr113r9ujmcmsdklASFJMVFPWE, ASTAGA! Nanti bibik tengok.” (dia mula keluar bahasa alien dia yang langsung aku tak faham.

Lalu dia bergegas lari masuk rumah sambil aku ikut dari belakang. Elok dia lepas dari pintu masuk, dia pusing, tutup dan KUNCI PINTU DARI DALAM DENGAN AKU TERCEGAT KAT LUAR!!!! AKU NAK MASUK MACAM MANA, BENGONG???!!!

Aku tengok dari luar dia tengah check kunci sliding door. Aku pun buat gesture suruh dia buka pintu depan sebab aku nak masuk. Dia tengok aku, pause 5 saat, terus berlari dan buka pintu depan.

AKU: “Kenapa bibik kunci? Saya nak masuk!”

OR-CARE: “Iya…(pause 5 saat)…udah dikunci.”

AKU: “Apa yang dah kunci?”

OR-CARE: “Itu…pintu kaca itu (sliding door).”

Tolonglah, wahai Alien, tunjukkanlah apa dosa aku di bulan yang mulia ni!!!!

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This Is Not Enticing

Okay, everyone else has had their share of what to say about a certain offensive/racist/sexist Ramadhan public service advertisement shown recently on TV8. It was said to be stereotyping the chinese community in Malaysia, and everyone including Patrick Teoh went to town about it.

But nobody gives a damn about the Payu Up, Ombak Besar and most controversial of all, KOPI JANDA. KOPI JANDA (Divorcee’s Coffee) is shown almost nightly in between TV3’s Nightline segments and has that seducing voice saying out its tagline “Bukan nak menggoda, cuma nak berniaga (I’m not enticing, I’m just selling).” I believe it is downright sexist, and somehow implies that divorcees are out there to entice men to sell their business products. Furthermore, it is marketed under JANDA (Jaringan Amanah Niaga Demi Ad-Din or Business Trust Network for the Religion).

Perhaps because the advertisement seems to target only the malay audience that is why nobody gives a damn.

But it is nevertheless sexist and degrading.

Kopi janda, bukan nak menggoda, tapi nak berniaga!
Kopi janda, bukan nak menggoda, cuma nak berniaga