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Bangkok at night - Leah Maritha

It is nights like this that I miss Krungthep. I miss the sanuk way of life, I miss its culture, I miss its food, I miss its people – friends and all. No pretence, nothing. It was always fun, even with strangers, chatting with the old lady selling Thai silk, trying to convince her that I am a Malaysian, not a Thai who’s been working in Malaysia. I miss the sunset over Chao Phraya. I miss getting soaked to the bone, and chucking pails of water mixed with talcum powder at passers-by during Songkran, and I miss making little boats during Loy Krathong.

I miss all that. I miss tranquility. I miss the serenity. As I miss the sunset at Perhentian as I stand on the beach at Teluk Keke, or on the balcony of my chalet at Panuba. I miss the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore. I miss the million of stars I could see when I am out at sea at night.

Why am I writing this?

I am missing someone.

She should be sleeping tonight, missing me too. I wish I am holding her close to me at this very moment, to address her restlessness. I know she felt unsettled before going to bed just now, with me being far away from her tonight.

I still cannot believe that she and I are an item now. Thinking back how it was then, it was platonic. No real attraction, but we were somehow always there for each other, in our own ways. It has been more than two months since we started going out, and everyday it gets deeper and deeper. It is not easy to see her shed her tears, it is just not her to shed tears. However, she cried when I was leaving. That was sad to see. And it is always sad for me to leave her.

I have no real complaints on her. So far, she has fulfilled every single wish on my list. I never ask for much but what is norm for her, is always something done out of the way for me. I’m very happy with the way she treats me; as I have always wanted a wife to treat me: with respect without overdoing things. So for her, she does things for me naturally, and I love every single thing that she does for me. She loves me in a way I have never been loved before, and always overflowing; and I try to reciprocate as best as I can. She wins my heart by being simple, yet very special. And home, to me, is where my heart is.