So, Do Me!

It has been an interesting week for politics in Malaysia. It started off with the non-issue of the vote of no-confidence against Jejaka Kepala Batas. Until today, there has not been a notice being filed for such a motion. The two SAPP parliamentarians never attended the sitting, citing threats made to their physical selves. To me, that is just another political ploy. You want something, you want it badly, make it happen. Don’t just support something for the sake of getting cheap publicity at the expense of the rakyat. I do not deny the fact that Sabahans are very left-out in terms of opportunities and development that there is this dire need for something to be done to arrest this backwards slide. Let’s hope that the government take notice of this and act accordingly, in the shortest possible time, without thinking that the other side might gain political mileage from all this for advocating change and progress for the Sabah people. SAPP, as a BN component party, has been issued with a show-cause letter to explain why action cannot be taken against the party. I don’t know. I wouldn’t do the same if I were the Jejaka Kepala Batas. Instead, just rap them on the hands, tell them off, then work closely with them, as well as the other dissenting MPs from Sabah to find ways to alleviate the sufferings of the Sabahans. But of course, the Jejaka Kepala Batas would like to show who holds the political will and power; therefore he must have felt compelled to tell the SAPP:


My batchmate has cried foul after being suspended and sacked following allegations that he had misappropriated waste disposal contracts to certain people. Yahya Sahri, or more fon$dly known among batchmates as Mat Yoq is upset that the MB of Selangor had dismissed him without giving him the chance to explain the matter. I’m surprised Mat Yoq did not see this coming as he is not a newcomer to politics, haivng been in UMNO once and now PKR; sitting in a hotseat, he should have anticipated what political rivals would do to him – what more when those who made the accusations, I was made to understand, come from the PR coalition itself. He should tell those people:


An UMNO branch head somewhere near Taiping, has won the local elections for the post of Penghulu (Village Head). He is now afraid that he might be sacked or have his UMNO membership suspended for not toeing (is that how you spell it? Toing sounds like something bouncing off a springed-bed) the party line for participating in a PR-advocated local elections. As in the case of a Gerakan vice-president (I think) and its Wilayah head, I think it would be a good platform for BN to show how the expertise of its members are needed by the PR-led state governments, and a platform for BN to channel assistance to the rakyat in PR-held areas. Of course, Jejaka Kepala Batas would take that as acts of betrayal from them. And again, the warning:


After the much-publicised “Snoop Squad” hearing in MCA, its President has announced that he will not seek a re-election in the forthcoming party elections. MCA’s Deputy President is expected to do the same very soon. That leaves MCA with four hopefuls: Ong Tee Kiat, Chua Soi Lek for the President’s post; while Liow Tiong Lai, Donald Lim, and Wee Ka Siong are expected to move up. Chua Jui Meng has been quiet and has not stated his intention as yet. Anyway, Ka Ting said that, “No one is indispensable.” Maybe Jejaka Kepala Batas should think along this line too. But he is too busy watching his back.


There was some confusion in the Parliament as well when no one owned up to dishing out instructions to the guards to restrict the movements of the journalists covering the Parliament. After confirming that no such order was ever issued, the BNBBC took upon itself to dismantle the barricade. This prompted Gangster Padang Rengas to attack them saying that just because those MPs are from the BNBBC, they should not behave like gangsters. This resulted in a verbal tiff between the BNBBC chairman, Tiong King Sing and Gangster Padang Rengas that had the former wanting the latter sacked as minister, and the latter issuing the former a challenge to do so. Then the DPM, who is also the BN chief whip told the two to shut up and not destroy the cohesiveness of the BN by saying:


Even in the PR, a rift has been seen. After Kedah‘s MB announced that Kedah will resort to heli-logging of the Muda dam catchment area, The Chief Minister of Penang whacked the former for wanting to destroy the environment for RM16 billion in earnings. The former was cheesed-off that he publicly told the latter off saying something to the effect of:


And the latest for the week is, a police report has been lodged against someone famous for having committed sodomy on an aide. The accused has taken refuge in a foreign embassy building for fear of being sodomised a death threat on him since the news leaked out. Although I know old habits die hard, I have only one thing to say:


Jangan Main Belakang

Thinking Back

I looked at her while we were eating just now. She is a far cry from what she was when I first saw her when I broke fast at her place last year. Gone is the haggard look, the ‘exposed’ bones, the tired and blank stare. I see the more radiant and pretty-side of her, bubbly, witty, playful; I see the loving and caring person that she is, as I have always suspected. I have also seen the tears, the pain and frustration of the seven-painful years being married to a wimpy wife-beater, opportunist, free-rider – and I would hold her close to me, and ask her to cry it all out.

When I first met her, I didn’t talk a lot to her; she was preoccupied with the hampers she was making for Hari Raya plus some corporate gifts. Probably a week before Hari Raya, as I was driving home (I was already about to reach home) when she sent me a text asking where I was. I called her up and she sounded down and needed someone to talk to. I immediately made a U-turn and headed her way. Why? I still have not found the reason for doing that; and neither has she, for asking me to meet her. I saw her a few days later at the penjual daging‘s place.

The next time I saw her was a month later – she was with the person who originally introduced us, Spena. Spena had always thought of us to be more compatible than with anyone else. However, this meeting was over lunch, and we felt somewhat awkward meeting each other after a month – but it was a pleasant meet nevertheless. Spena left us immediately after lunch, and I spent a bit more time with her at Uluwatu and MPH.

We never met again – until that wonderful night we both term as Burger Night. That was 4 months later.

And since then, we have talked, kissed, hugged, cuddled, quarreled, laughed…and countless of other things that I may have forgotten about, or forgotten how it felt like, or have not done prior to our becoming an item. She plays her role as a wife, not to be subjugated, not submissive, but as an equal who believes in giving love means receiving more love. While I, give her the love and care and attention that she has never received. She’ll clear the table, I do the dishes; and we would always hug each other after each task is completed. Sometimes she cooks, a blue moon later I would cook. We go out together, do things together, that we would look more lovey-dovey than most couples younger than us do.

I don’t know what it is…but I know I have said this before. Everytime I breathe, I realise that I love her more and more. And it just gets better. And in this second-half of my life, I just want to love her more and more, while I am still able to.

And everytime I drive past a certain point in KL, somehow, a certain radio station would play this very song that started to become famous when we first started going out – and it always makes me think more and more of her.

And as I type this posting, I am missing her terribly.

Terminating Bollywood

“Dey Rascal! I’ll be back!”

That’s what we would most likely hear coming out of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s mouth when and if he stars in a Holly-Bollywood collaboration.

I heard on the radio yesterday morning that Hollywood is now seeking more movie collaboration with its Indian counterparts, the Molly and Bollywoods. Another star that was reported to have the same idea is Will Smith. Maybe, the next title of his movie would be called “I am Lingam,” a movie about zombies that go around killing human beings by making a simple sounds like, “Korek! Korek! Korek!”

Will accent be a problem for Arnold?

“No problemo, Inspector Sahab!”

With his funny accent, I’m sure he’s going to be a hit. So let us look forward to a movie filled with funny English accent from Arnold and his Indian counterparts.

“Hasta la vista, Babuji!”

How Christian Some Muslims Are

I am trying to point out how unIslamic Muslims have become by not trusting Allah’s Holy Quran but instead take the words of the scholars as if they’re gods.

Over two years ago I wrote in an UMNO forum in response to a member saying that women must cover up their hair. Of course I responded in the negative and challenged the person to show me where in the al-Quran does it say so, he never replied. In fact I challenged an Ulama on this matter, presenting the dalil in al-Quran, when all he could give back to me are: “According to this imam’s book, according to so and so…”. Those imams and so-and-so’s are their gods…not mine.

Before I begin, let me quote a verse from the Holy Quran in the chapter called THE PROPHETS (al-Anbiyaa’)21:24. Allah said:

“Have they found gods besides Him (Allah)? Say, “Show us your proofs. This Quran is my proof,it covers the present and the past.” Indeed most of them fail to recognise the truth, this is why they turn away.”

I don’t know how Islamic can one be by wearing or not wearing the tudung or hijjab. I don’t even know if it is Islamic to do that. The Quran only tells women to cover their breasts and to pull their outer garments over them. And for 1000 years or more, scholars are still debating whether Muslim women should cover their hair.

However, in the Bible, there is a clear order for women to cover their hair and their heads especially during prayer. Here is the reference:

Corinthians 11:5-6

“And every women who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonours her head – it is just as though as her head was shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgraced for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head.”

This reminds me of a few incidents where school children had had their hair cut by religious teachers, or their tudung cut shorter for not wearing the long tudung sometime in 2006 (NST – 25th Feb 2006). A school in Bukit Mertajam even withdrew their participation in a netball competition because their players were not wearing tudung.

Sheer blatant stupidity and ignorance on the part of the teachers. 30 years ago when I was schooling I never hear of such nonsense. it seems that deviationist Islam has rooted itself firmly within the minds of these teachers, and they abide by the words of their scholars without questioning the facts.

And what about Muslim men being told that it is the sunnah (tradition of the Prophet) to wear turban, have beard etc? They say that men must (bordering divinely compulsory) to wear turban and have beard like the Prophet, and do other things that the Prophet used to do. This brings me to another case of three boys who were expelled from school because the students were adamant to wear turban to school. A PAS lawyer represented them and told the court that WEARING THE TURBAN IS AN INTEGRAL PART OF ISLAM.

Another narrow minded bastard who is bent on misguiding Muslims, if you ask me. No where in the Holy Quran is mentioned about the wearing of the turban and robes and growing beards etc. However, in the Bible, those are mentioned as the accoutrements of the priests.

Exodus 28:4

“These are the garments they are to make: a breastpiece, an ephod, a woven tunic, a turban and a sash. They are to make these sacred garments for your brother Aaron and his sons, so they may serve Me as priests.”

Leviathan 21:5

“Priests must not shave their heads or shave off the edges of their beards or cut their bodies.”

Leviathan 19:27

“Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.”

So, there you have it. “Defenders” of the faith (scholars’ faith) will say of course it is not mentioned in the Holy Quran. It is the traditions (sunnah) of the Holy Prophet!

So why do they go to work in cars instead of camel-backs?

Let me just quote you from the Holy Quran again to underscore what I have been saying about the lies attributed to Allah and Muhammad conjured up by the so-called faithfuls for over a millenium:

THE FAMILY IMRAAN (Ali Imraan) 3:78

Some of them even twist their tongues to simulate the scripture, to make you think that it is from the scripture when it is not from the scripture, and claim that it is from God, when it is not from God. They invent lies and attribute them to God, knowingly.”

So if you are a woman and you are not wearing tudung, and if you are a man and you do not have a beard or wear turban and robe, then let it be known that you are not unIslamic; you are in fact very unChristian.

Sorry, But Women Are Second-Class Human Beings (In Kelantan)

It is official. The Kelantanese State Government has the same IQ and brain-processing power as that of that young lady who made a stupid statement about school uniforms inviting rape and unwanted children.

Several years ago, good-looking women in Kelantan were forbidden from working to avoid being raped or other wrong-doings. Since looks are subjective, the benchmark set (according to my ANALysis) is those who are prettier than Nik Aziz cannot be employed anywhere in Kelantan.

Today, the Kelantanese State Government has announced that women can no longer wear lipsticks or heeled-shoes to avoid being rape or sexual wrongdoings. Yup, it was on TV just now. Funny thing is, I never saw a baby wearing lipstick or heeled-shoes, or a 70-year old woman in sexy dress…but they got raped somehow. How do you explain that? God’s wrath?

This coming from a state that has produced obnoxious and sick people who screw their ex-wives, goats, cows (probably because their ex-wives look similar) and can complain about not being acknowledge when the reply came was, “I’ve been here before” after being invited to sit together by the host, or co-hosts. Women cannot put on make-up, colour the hair, must wear tudung, but must screw with their boyfriend because screwing the boyfriend is not as big a sin as not wearing the tudung, as prescribed by the Old Testament.

I’m sorry, but the wearing of the tudung is not in the al-Quran because there is no mention about the women’s hair as being part of the aurat, so if you insist, I can tell you that it came from the New Testicles. In the Bible it does say that it is obligatory for women to cover their head.

Bastard ragheads bringing shame to Islam.

June 8th And The After-Effects

I often wonder why is it a lot easier for me to get into KL dring peak hours nowadays since the fuel price hike. Apparently, DBKL has reported a 2% drop in the number of cars entering KL since the fuel price hike, when in May, it averaged at 561,000 cars. Public transportation companies on the other hand have reported an increase in passenger volume.

Jalan Imbi stretch - The Star
Jalan Imbi stretch during rush hour last week – The Star

The photo above was taken by The Star Thursday last week at 5.30pm after a heavy downpour. That stretch, to me, is the deadliest, and one of the reasons I do not like driving into KL especially after a downpour – yet, traffic was smooth there. The dreadful crawl before PWTC coming from Pak Leman too is a lot shorter, and gone before 8pm, whereas before June 8th, my blood pressure would have a bigger jump than the fuel price hike.

So…the recent fuel hike IS good for my blood pressure.

Unfortunately it isn’t.

Generally, people drive slower. Personally, I think that is fine until someone decides that the fast lane on the highway is for driving at 110km/h. No, it isn’t for driving at 110km/h. It is for overtaking. And once you have overtaken the car in front of you, move back to the center lane and make way for faster cars. Last night, there was this eagle-eyed Beemer (Beemer lagi!) in the fast lane doing 85km/h. And I got exasperated because he was going as fast as the lori babi in the center lane. What made it worse was the car behind me was flashing his beam, and I retaliated by flashing my middle finger. He pulled up alongside me and flashed his middle-finger. It was a guy wearing kopiah who must have overdosed on his Harakah and pissed off because Mas Idayu and Ella got to perform at the Malawati Stadium. He then went back behind me and tailgated. So I had no choice but to pull my handbrake. The car behind him almost hit him – but after that he kept his distance…like way back.

At a toll plaza, this guy drove ever so slowly and, without turning on his indicator light, started veering from the left-most lane, into the right-most where the Smart Tag lane is. At the last moment, he veered back left into a ticket lane. How annoying.

Then somewhere near Ampang yesterday, I heard a loud noise. it sounded very much like a fogging machine. It was a Proton Saga with an exhaust that has a hole the size where an elephant bull’s private member might fit in snugly. He overtook me and entered my lane ahead of me, then slowed down to 30km/h – on a dual carriageway. And he had the most annoying array of little Manchester United jerseys hanging on the rear screen. Then I overtook the car to have a look at the driver. He was wearing a Manchester United jersey. He must have been on his way to a certain Craven Cafe thinking EPL is on and not Euro 2008. He’s probably from a certain boarding school in Melaka or something because only people from there are capable of having that kind of limited IQ…going to KFC and orders a Big Mac.

Anyway, I have identified several routes to get to Yummy Baby‘s place. The farthest is 35km (toll: RM4.50 return), second is 33km (toll is RM6.70 ONE WAY), and third is 32km (toll is RM7.40 ONE WAY). At 2km/Ringgit, I’d go for the distance, unless KLites start to drive again and jam up all the roads like pre-8th June.

Dang! RM50 isn’t worth anything anymore nowadays.

Monday 23rd June

it’s been a year since I last spoke to my parents and siblings on a happy note, as well as face to face.

I am my family now. I, alone.

The Fog

How many of you actually believe in the supernatural? How many of you have actually seen ghosts?

I was about 5 when I saw a ghost in the form of a scary looking old woman when we were staying in this old government quarters in Melaka. My father used to lock me inside this storeroom. It was pitch black because it didn’t have any window. And this old woman would appear behind me.

I learnt much later that almost all, including my father, had encountered this apparition.

The quarters we lived in when my father was the Inspector-General of Police was equally haunted. We’d hear of rapping within the walls, my bed was tossed about ala The Exorcist, and something would fly part the window.

Have you had your own encounters? Tell us about it.

Groovy Groove Groove

…well, maybe u can write abt how u got your groove back

That was the text message she had sent me earlier. Not groove as in the groovy stuff of the 60s and 70s, but groove as in screw. Not the literal screw, but the intimate one. So if you cringe at reading about sex, or is in the opinion that sex is a taboo, do not read any further. Click on this link to read about the ASEAN economy or something.

The previous few months have seen me having nocturnal (well, daytime too) bedtime activities more than the number of times I have had it since 1991 (when I first got married) until March 2008. Sex had become such a bore to me that I hardly saw the need to even have an erection. Seriously. It was so bad that I used to wonder waking up in the morning sans erection, whether I have lost 50% of what it is supposed to be used for, the other 50% being its use for peeing.

Then when I was admitted to the Coronary ICU of the DSH back in 2004, I was given Cordarone to regulate my heartbeat, and since it (generic name Amiodarone) shows beta-blocker-like actions, it slowed me down – EVERYWHERE! When I was diagnosed as being hypertensive last year, I was first prescribed with Atenolol, an ancient but well-proven beta-blocker, and that further cut down my ability to have normal sex (and, abnormal ones, in case you guys want to know).

I was thus reduced from being a Tiger to a Kitten; ironically can’t even get into a Pussy. I look at a sexy woman, I felt nothing. I watch porn, I felt nothing. I whacked the fella, I felt nothing. I was flogging a dead horse. The Stallion had been reduced to an Ass – without the lethal kick the latter gives. It was not totally dead; there were times when I could have an erection. An ex-girlfriend had my erection poking half heartedly at her ass while she was on all fours and I thought, “There is a God in Heaven!”. Alas, it was during the fasting month and it could have been an MCKK-trait I somehow earned despite not playing rugby after Form Three that decided to rear itself at that awkward moment. It was frustrating not being able to will an erection.

“It could be the company,” I thought to myself. It just had to be. Maybe there was no chemistry there to make a big thing out of something small. It wasn’t totally dead. Not Micro but Soft nevertheless. I even sought the help of my GP, and he recommended me the best tablet for my trouble – but at more than RM50 a tablet, I thought maybe not, since I was not interested in having anyone again.

Then I met Yummy Baby. There has never been any physical attraction whatsoever during the 6 months that I knew her prior to dating her. I never thought I would have made it onto her list of hot studs that she had dated, or were dating then. Even my college classmate she dated before she was married, and after her divorce, was a lot hotter than I, and classier to add insult to an already injured ego. What more (with the exception of the guy who had muscles but had none down there to control premature ejaculation – it could have been the food they served him at a certain boarding school in Melaka) they were driving Beemers, and wined and dined her in classy places; places I would not normally go to on a daily basis to wine and dine a lovely person such as she.

Twice we checked into a hotel with no intention of having sex (oh yeah, I prayed hard for sex not to be on her mind because it definitely was not on mine) – more to spend time alone together, cuddle up in comfort and so on. Then, the inevitable happened. We both got aroused. She was afire, my hose didn’t have enough water pressure! I cursed myself all night, and morning when she left for work. On the second occassion, the same thing happened and I thought I was doomed – she was going to leave me for being a dud.

It had to be psychological. It just had to be. I went for work in Tioman and was diving a lot, and I was relaxed then despite the hectic schedule and the pressure of training people underwater. She was away overseas, helping the economy of a certain country, adhering to Tun Dr M’s call to ‘prosper thy neighbour’. And I missed her a lot. When she got back, we spent some time together in a hotel, and suddenly, in the words of the famous Dr. Frankenstein, “IT’S ALIVEEEE!!!.

Or was that Igor who said that?

Anyway, we average at twice a night, peaking at six. And for each time, I’d make sure she achieves orgasm at least twice before I can rest. I am happy now that I have broken that mental barrier that rendered me useless before I met her. Now, I know she can sleep soundly at night, with sound of course, signaling how spent, sated and satiated she is everytime after an extended performance.

And she sent me this text just now:

“Love you, sayang. You’re such a stud, honey.”

She loves me and the way I do her.

Note: after this entry was posted the frequency peaked at nine TEN. I need a back massage.

Lonely Dinner

There we were having dinner at Le Meridien. She looked superb as always, with her usual sweet smile she throws at me. I was in my scuba t-shirt and Garson track bottom and slippers.

The waiter came to serve our order of Giant’s instant noodles. I know it looks cheap for such a place but I attribute that to my craving. As we were about to start eating, my daughter Nisaa appeared next to me.

“Ayah, nak tissue,” she began. I was like, when on earth did I bring Nisaa along on this el-cheapo romantic dinner?

“Ayah, nak tissue.”

I thought this can’t be real. Her voice was louder than everyone else’s in the restaurant put together. I closed my eyes, then re-opened. It was almost pitch dark. There she was, eyes closed saying, “Ayah, nak susu.”

I reluctantly got up, half-wishing I could still go back to that dream, back to Yummy Baby whom I miss but alas, I have to return to reality.

Back to the perils of single-parenthood.

(This post was made using my new Nokia N95 phone and posted from Ah Pek Kopitiam using its wifi connection)