Comme si de rien n’était

2.07am.

Tadi aku lapar.

Aku pergi ke dapur aku jumpa Indomie Mee Goreng. Aku hancurkan dan masukkan dalam mangkuk, tambah air panas; aku masukkan perencah dengan kicap (ketjap) yang turut serta dalam bungkusan tu, add bawang goreng. Aku makan macam maggi sup. Aku tak kira macam mana rasa dia sebab aku dah lapar.

Yummy Baby ada kat sebelah ni tengah berdengkur. Aku pulak tak boleh tidur sebab perut memulas.

Hmm….ni pergi melabur pukul 2 pagi memang best ni. Hening pagi dicemari bau-bauan kurang enak. Dah lah bau petai malam tadi tak hilang lagi. Setiap kali aku berak, aku nampak macam tiles kat dinding jamban nak slide ke bawah.

Aku happy skets malam ni sebab aku sound ada orang melalui sistem pesanan ringkas tajaan CELCOM. Ni benda yang aku tulis:

“Kalau mak kata ayah pentingkan diri apa beza dgn mak kalau kerja dah sibuk masih mengejar 2 jawatan politik! Kalau mak kata budak keliru kalau ayah bawak diorang tidur sana apa beza dgn mak duduk kerusi depan berpegang tangan dengan driver tercinta, cium pipi, gambar mak dalam rumah dlm phone Mail? Mak kata budak2 tak reti menipu. Memang betul. Jgn nak bodohkan ayah, ayah bukan Puteri mak. Mail tidur di rumah, kasi Nisaa duduk atas riba bawak kereta? Itu bertanggung jawab? Itu nak membunuh anak namanya. Farhan menangis tak nak keluar kereta apa ayah nak buat? campak dia? Ayah tak boleh. Mak ke hulu ke hilir bawak diorang dengan Mail takpe? Mak ke Sabah dgn Mail takpe? jangan ugut kata nak bawak budak2 lari. Itu aje modal mak. Jangan sampai ayah bantu musuh2 mak dgn apa yang ayah ada pasal mak. Ayah tak benarkan Mail masuk rumah walau setapak. Kalau tak, siap. Jangan ingat ayah org politik mak. Ayah cium politik lagi awal sebelum mak menjual puki kat Basher. Farhan muntah 3 kali semalam mak kat mana? Ayah jugak menyuap ubat. Siang malam mak tak ada. Tidak2 pun siang ayah ada menjaga budak.”

SMS tersebut aku hantar kat seorang cibai yang pernah berkahwin dengan aku. Dari mula kahwin dah menipu aku kata tak pernah ada anak. Aku tengok jubur dah sebesar tong dan stretchmarks mengalahkan ikan paus. Masih tak mengaku anak ada 4 sebelum kahwin dengan aku. Masa dalam perkahwinan pun curang dengan aku berapa kali. Nasib baik la aku ni jenis penyabar jugak semenjak dua-menjak aku berhenti askar ni. Kalau tidak memang tak bergigi la aku lempang. Bawak driver tidur hotel, bawak driver tidur di rumah aku masa aku ke pulau. Cakap kat aku driver dia yang bernama Mail tu kononnya tension bini tak suka dia balik lambat dari kerja. Walhal anak perempuan Mail tu sendiri pecah lubang kata mak bapak dia bercerai. Dia cerita kat anak-anak aku bini si Mail dah mampus. Sama la macam dia tipu anak dia kata bapak diorang mampus dah walhal sihat wal’afiat hidup kat Pasir Puteh.

Basher tu nama boyfriend Arab dia yang dahulunya bekerja di salah sebuah syarikat minyak di Malaysia, selepas dia lari dari laki dia yang pertama. Dia kata dia jadi P.A Basher ni. Betul la P.A. Puki Ayam. Dia buat perangai jadi ayam kepala hitam, jual puki kat Basher. Lantas Basher ni pun memenuhkan rumahnya dengan segala macam barang.

Lepas tu dia kahwin dengan mamat Pasir Puteh ni. Mamat ni selalu outstation, lantas si puki ayam ni pun merendek dengan jantan lain-lain. Bukan lain-lain jantan. Jantan lain-lain menunjukkan bahawasanya bukan seorang jantan sahaja yang melenjan dengan dia. Lepas tu laki dia dapat tahu, siap dia boleh taunt laki dia lagi – kena balun dengan kayu golf – nasib baik tak putus keting kaki.

Begitulah kisah hidup puki ayam yang pernah kahwin dengan aku. Nasib baik la anak aku dua orang tu comel tak macam dia. Dan mudah-mudahan perangai diorang tak ikut cibai tu.

Wah…baru datang semangat aku nak berak.

2.30am.

Losing The Kith And Kin

I was half sedated by the expectorant, on the bed, when my daughter Fazira rushed into the room.

“Auntie’s grandmother’s passed away.”

My eyes opened wide. Then Yummy Baby came into the room and sat next to me.

“Mak Tok passed away just now.”

Her voice was calm. She was in the kitchen teaching Fazira how to make a Spaghetti dish. On top of that, she was making some potato salad for her brother in conjunction with his birthday today. We had just returned from a night’s stay away from home so she could rest and recuperate after falling ill towards the end of the week.

“I’ll go back with my brother and come back tomorrow. But he is only going to come back the day after.”

I disagreed. She is not really in the shape to do long distance driving, what more driving back alone. I packed my clothes, as did she, and soon after a quick tea, made our way to send Fazira home before hitting the road for Batu Pahat. I may not be too well myself, but I thought it would be best for me to tag along and drive them back.

I first met her grandmother early in June, when I was on my Spanish Acquisition trip. We visited her twice on the day we arrived. She was all smiles when I first met her, sitting on her bed having been transferred to a normal ward from the ICU ward two days before. That night, we visited her again. She was suffering from various illnesses including diabetes, pneumonia – she was a septuagenarian, almost the age of my maternal grandmother when the latter passed on from complications due to colon cancer. My maternal grandmother was all skin and bones when she died. The night before she left us for good, in her weak voice she asked me to recite the Yaa-sin for her.

“I want to hear you read it to me. I don’t want anyone else to read it when you do.”

I held her hand. I could feel the sinews that were holding her joints together. Then I commenced the reading of the verse, part-recitation depending on which parts I could remember by heart. When I completed the reading, she pleaded for me to recite the ayyah again. It was during this recitation that she stopped me for a while, looked to her front, towards her toes saying,

“Your grandfather is here. He looks as handsome as he was when he was younger. He is waiting for me.”

I squeezed her hand gently and carried on with the recitation, my heart was breaking. I had lost my maternal grandfather just 6 months before. When things at home were bad between my elder sister and I, he was the one who would always protect me. After my first divorce, my maternal grandparents were the only ones lending me their emotional support, being the only understanding ones.

“Now I no longer have a ‘mother‘.”

I was brought back to reality. Yummy Baby was in tears as the car travelled further south. She was brought up by her paternal grandparents until the age of 12, and losing her grandmother meant she no longer had anyone who could lend her emotional support. Her grandmother had been a matriarchal figure in the family, and everyone listened to her. After Yummy Baby‘s divorce last year, it was her grandmother who said it was okay to be divorced; better than to be in a bad marriage, much like mine until I lost them both 10 years ago.

I remember the day my grandmother passed away. I was travelling south on that very highway towards Muar, not too far away from here, all because my ex-wife was (and probably still is) a big eater. She is the type who would have a plethora of food that her pigging out methods would put pigs to shame. After reciting the Yaa-sin to my grandmother the previous night, my ex-wife told my mother that she had a relative’s wedding to attend in Muar. I protested, saying my grandmother was going to die, but she pleaded to my mother to excuse us for the journey. My mother somehow relented and told me to take my ex to that wedding. While on the highway, I asked her about the relative who was getting married, and it seemed that she did not even know who they were; but just because her grand-aunt was cooking Bariyani Gam, she wanted to eat that. I was so angry that she could drag me away just to be able to eat. And because both of us were then using the same mobile network whose guy in the Yellow Suit was still swimming in his father’s balls then, we did not have any reception south of Ayer Keroh. And that was when my relatives tried to get hold of us to inform us of my grandmother’s demise. And I did not get to learn of her passing until 3 days later when we returned to KL. Everyone was so busy with the funeral preparations that everyone had forgotten to keep trying to get hold of me.

Back to the present day minus 28 days. It was exactly 4 weeks ago that Yummy Baby and I went to see her grandmother, who was again just out from the ICU due to some breathing difficulties. She looked weaker than the time we saw her last. She was mostly sleeping. Her right hand was so swollen from the incessant IV drips over the months of treatments that even the slightest touch would result on her crying in pain. This different scene somehow reminded me of Heraclitus’ Panta rei. I knew that she would only grow weaker, but did not have the heart to tell Yummy Baby then. Before leaving, I kissed her grandmother’s left hand and held it briefly. She opened her eyes and smiled weakly at me.

“Terima kasihlah datang tengok kita (Thank you for visiting me).”

Just a few days ago, I mentioned to Yummy Baby subtly, that I didn’t think her grandmother would last that long, and that we should visit her on the way down when we finally move down south.

In retrospect, I should have mentioned this to her earlier.

I am sorry that your grandmother has passed away, Sayang. I will always be here for you.

The ‘J’ Word

Janda Baik Camp
Janda Baik Camp
JANDA.
DIVORCED WOMAN.
Holy Crap” would be a normal reaction to parents, especially the mother, of a bachelor son, knowing that the latter is emotionally involved with a divorced woman.  Verbal comments like “I don’t want my son to marry a divorcee” and/or “She won’t be good for you” would be among the other reactions, barring other violent ones.  Other non-sympathetic comments would come from “friends” saying, “Oh, she’s a divorcee. I wonder what went wrong?“, or, “I’m sure she was behaving like a slut when she was still married to him“, accompanied by the smile as the divored woman walk past by. The typical man will go for a divorced woman thinking, “It must have been a while since she’s had a good one in bed” or, “I should try her; I am sure she’s had some good training when she was married” and other unkind thoughts of the divorced woman.  Some would even go a step further by establishing contact with the divorced woman saying, “If you need any physical thing, you can always call me.”
What is so wrong with being divorced?  What is SO wrong with being a divorced woman?  She will get NO sympathy from her family most of the time, the mother would look at her cynically, or pass remarks like, “You don’t know how to look after your husband,” so on and so forth.  The last remark is not always wrong, as yours truly have previously experienced – in a painful manner, but to apply this as a general statement on every single divorced woman, is morally wrong.
First and foremost, no matter how handsome and good, or beautiful and sexy a couple maybe, only the ex-husband and ex-wife would know how each other would look like when they wake up in the morning.  Meaning, we can only guess what is happening in a marriage, or see only the good side of the marriage, but only the couple would know how bad it really is.  And to have other women criticising, or gossipping, or making fun or divorced women, is totally un-on.  As my favourite saying goes, “Tak kena batang hidung sendiri sedaplah gelakkan sakit orang lain!” (You can only laugh at the misery of others because it has yet to hit you on the nose).
There is nothing wrong with being divorced.  It is a better step than to wallow in an abusive marriage.  It is better than having the children crying all the time whenever the parents shout or hit each other. It is the best way out, yet, it is not the best way out.  But it had to be done, to save the sanity of one’s mind, and that of the children.  Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) married Siti Khadijah, a divorcee many years his senior, and they lived happily in their lifetime together.
We see divorced women having to fend for themselves, and having to earn a living so they can feed their children and themsleves.  The man would normally leave the children in the hands of the ex-wife, and disappear without giving a single cent.  Worse still, if they don’t give a single cent, but start criticising the way the ex-wife brings up the children.  Some of these women, being uneducated, would have to resort to entertaining men in various ways, to earn a decent living.
Along the path of life, I have met many.  From friends, to women who walk the streets for money.  I have spoken to all, and I respect them all, no matter their choice to earn a living.  I look at them no different than I would look at a pious woman.  I have no right to discriminate them, nor do I have the right to be judgmental towards them.  I used to tell myself that if God wills me to marry a prostitute, I would gladly do so if she has a heart of gold.  And I am pretty sure many are.  They are just victims of circumstances.
My Baby is a divorcee, but not once have I ever looked at her as one.  I have always thought of her as a single mother of three; strong-willed, dedicated mother, loving person.  Otherwise she wouldn’t have survived a 7-year marriage being the sole breadwinner feeding a lazy and wimpy monkey.  And her experience of the previous marriage, coupled with other lessons of life, has made me fall for her, head over heels.  She would be perfect for me, and for my children, as opposed to having a young single lady who would seek my undivided attention.
And for you men who look at divorced women as sex objects, do look into your pants again and ask if your dick is big enough for you to brag about.

2008 Is Not A Year To Feel Sad

 SeaDemon said…
Hmm…tak ajak pun…

March 8, 2008 2:08 AM

 all jazzed up said…
Guile, Yeah, my cheap thrills :)SD… ajak gi test-drive??? Takleh.. nanti I mintak satu kat you. By the way, I invited you for the New World thingy didn’t I?

March 8, 2008 9:10 AM

 SeaDemon said…
Ibu…you ajak me to a function for me to watch you drool at my old man…what for? If quiet evening for two mau la.

March 9, 2008 2:43 PM

 all jazzed up said…
SD, quiet evening for two?? Haaa!!! I’d rather not upset anybody. Heheh.

March 10, 2008 12:17 AM

 SeaDemon said…
Ibu, I’d rather upset everyone else but myself. It’s 2008, remember?Anyway, can’t wait to bite your buns and meat tomorrow nite 😉

March 11, 2008 7:19 PM

 all jazzed up said…
SD – 2008 is the year NOT to be upset. It’s true!

March 13, 2008 11:24 PM

That was how it all started.  Yummy Baby and I would always leave comments like that on each other’s blog.  Always platonic, nothing serious.  But we would always be for each other whenever any one of us was down.

March 8th was elections day.  I couldn’t sleep for some reason, I was still contemplating whether to go out and vote or not.  That was when I left the first comment.  Later that night, as the elections results were piling in, she text me.  And we were sending text messages to and fro almost the whole night.  I still don’t know why she chose me to text that night.

March 12th was THE Burger Night. THE night that sealed the deal…in a way.  We were just sitting close to each other the whole night – to me, it could probably be the last time I would see her for the next 6 months or so, if not later.  So I made full use of the opportunity I had that night to be with her – still platonic, and thinking that I am soooooooooooo not her type.

March 13th, she left that last comment.  I was at home at that time, having returned from a confusing trip to PD with someone who was supposed to have dumped me 3 months before.

The next day, March 14th, she proposed.

And here I am now…sitting next to her and her son, who are asleep.  And soon, we will be embarking on life’s little journey together.

I can hardly wait.

Yummy Baby and I on Burger Night
Yummy Baby and I on Burger Night

Slowdown

This is to inform all of you that my blog will face a bit of a slowdown because I do not have a notebook for now.

And Yummy Baby said I’ve been too busy screwing her.

She said that…I did not.

Well, Not Well

Resting on Babys shoulder
Resting on Baby's shoulder

This is the fourth day that I am not well. My cough is not getting any better.  To add insult to injury, my notebook’s screen’s given up on me.  Well, something like that.

Yummy Baby had wanted me to taste her soto daging and to be able to do that, we had to buy some meat from…where else, but the Penjual Daging‘s place.  Although he never appeared throughout the visit (we were attended to by his partner), I knew if he was up there he could see us through the CCTV’s monitor.  That was probably how he saw us during the last visit; and I went “Damn! I hadn’t washed Yummy Baby’s car yet!”  Luckily he did not appear at all.

The Soto Night was good.  Rainmaker, Rina Madonna Ciccone and Shark’s Fin came.  They stayed until 2am or so.  Yummy Baby and I were both so tired that we went straight to bed after doing the dishes, and I was coughing my lungs out.  We woke up several times in the morning, and finally had to wake up when Spena sent a text to her saying she was on the way to have her soto lunch.

Komar and I after whcking soto
Komar and I after whcking soto

After lunch, the three of us decided it was bad for us to stay home on a Sunday. So I called my daughters up and asked them to get ready to go out.  However, only Fazira was ready when we arrived and Hana was still watching TV.  So we went to Tony Roma’s and had a good…errr, post-lunch lunch.  It was Fazira’s second meeting with Yummy Baby but she really looks up to the latter as a mother-figure.  I can’t blame my daughter. She needs a mother-figure for love and attention. She has matured beyond her age, taking over responsibilities at such a young age – the victim of circumstances.

Anyway, it was a good outing for all of us.  Upon reaching home, I developed a temperature and was groaning and shivering.  Yummy Baby was there to look after me.  I was both happy and sad that tears rolled down my cheeks: happy because I finally get to feel wifely love and attention; sad because I am not able to take care of her, as I should, givng her the husbandly love and attention.  I thank God that after all the crap that I had to go through, I have finally met the person whom I would love to die as her husband.

Fazira and Spena
Fazira and Spena

Japanese Tanker Wreck Near Pulau Kapas

It has been a while since I last took a serious look at the dive forum, and apparently the Japanese wreck near Pulau Kapas in Terengganu is an almost-intact tanker. Macha, Adik, Bobo, Syam went down there between 2002 and 2005.

It is a fairly deep wreck, but not too deep. However, it is very easy to bust one’s No Deco Limit, and/or to get Nitrogen Narcosis when diving this wreck. The top part lies at 28m while it bottoms at 40m. So dive time should be limited to around 15 to 25 minutes only, the shallower the longer.

Here is Macha‘s dive brief for the site:

Its a tanker according to veterans of Chendering Folks it Departs Kuala Terengganu full with diesel & was torpedoed ( dive bomber or subs ? )
Huge flames lasted for hours through out the nite.

Wreck Length : 78 meters
Type : Steel Tanker
Max Depth : Sandy Bottom 40 meters
on wreck upper deck 30-35 meters
bridge 28-30 meters
Visibilty : 8-20 meters

To dive safely here a well organize planning is nescesary. Two reference line needed at hull & stern for exit & entry point. Its a 1 way ticket dive ( drift ). I normally hook a few stage tank for deco stop. On air its possible to do a No Deco dive but..as contingency I will use twin tank air as the moving air bank if divers get to Deco & doing long deco stops.

The current here can get nasty and its difficult to refer from any tide charts for accuracy, currently using Chendering & Marang charts.

Visibility can get as good as 20 meters from surface to 18 meters. I’ve experienced 20 meter viz once & its the best as divers can see the wreck & schooling fishes as reference while descending.
As in syamdive video we experience strong current from surface till 20 meters depth & no current till bottom with thermocline.

The wreck looks messy as usual with debris, nets & fishing lines as this can be really hazardous esp. in low viz. But the coral growth on it really excites divers with sponges, dendronepthya soft corals, whips & fans.

The marine life is absolutely marvelous with big school of big eye jacks, pompanos, indo pacific tarpons, red snappers, yellowtails fussiliers & barracudas.

It is also residents to a few Giant Grouper as huge as Perodua Kancil….we named it “George The Grouper”. Its so curious with divers & in 1 of the dives it was following divers all the way. A good observation on the sand can spot a few huge rays & leopard sharks. Encountered a huge Black Marlin here while descending. Besides the giants, Coral Trouts are abundant watching every movement of divers approaching & macro life can be intresting with the brunns cleaner shrimp cleaning any visitors.But Im sure divers wouldn’t have the time to look for macros here plus the effects of narcosis
Once again all of this notes was compiled from a few dives there which ever remains in my Brickfields mind. Its never easy diving here so inexperience divers are not recommended here. Divers must ensure equipment is in good condition & a must to bring dive knife, safety sausages, signalling devices & with dive computers. As for penetration I leave it to the experience techie with penetration background.
I’ll be delighted to bring divers exploring the wreck over again…My last exploration dive here was 2 years back & the wreck is still intact, the deck hatch still accesible but the torpedo hole at starboard has collapsed. In one exploration dive 2003 with my old dive buddy Anuar Abdullah, we salvage an old kerosene lamp made of brass & discovered chinese wordings on it instead Japanese…the plot thickens!
Still unable indentifying the wreck name & will be really great if divers can share any info about this wreck…..Any body heading there? dont mind taking pix of it’s PD viz nowdays!

Here is a diagram of the wreck:

Japanese Tanker Wreck, Pulau Kapas

Here is a video of it taken by Syam, Adik‘s partner.

Gosh, I will have to do this wreck, with Nitrox for accelerated decompression. No way will I stay down there shorter than 25 minutes.