Bukan World Taekwondo Federation.
Petang semalam aku dengan Yummy Baby terperangkap dalam traffic jam di hadapan sebuah stesen LRT di dalam kawasan bawah naungan MBPJ. Macam biasa, Yummy Baby tengah sendawa teruk disebabkan overdose Cafe au Lait sambil membuka tingkap agar bau-bauan tidak terperangkap dalam kereta. Aku memandang ke dalam rear view mirror dan agak terkejut bukan sahaja kerana kereta belakang aku berhenti dengan begitu rapat, malah, pemandunya, seorang wanita bertudung hitam dan berkaca hitam jam 7 petang sedang mengorek hidung. When I say she was picking her nose, I mean using a finger for each nostril simultaneously. I was like…HOLY F*CK!. Sekilas pandang akan wajah bertudung tersebut, aku nampak seolah-olah His Excellency President-For-Life General Dr Idi Amin Dada al-Haj yang memakai tudung hitam, memandu sebuah Mercedes Benz berwarna metallic grey, sambil mengorek kedua-dua belah lubang hidung serentak. I mean, if you have to do it, do it discreetly. Looking at someone picking his/her nose is bad enough, this is picking both nostrils in one go! Learn from the Jejaka Kepala Batas on how to do it discreetly:
“Korek hidung skets sambil pura-pura tidoq!”
Or, if you are a celebrity, then you would get away with it. Look at how Crakco Whacko Jacko picks his nose:
And of course, she could yawn with a mouth bigger than that of a Hippopotamus.
I had to put up with her antiques for some 15 minutes before I managed to clear the junction. I know I could have avoided staring into my rear-view mirror…tapi minah ni punya lah besar, she literally filled up my rear-view mirror’s field of view that the slightest movement of her fingers, which were probably twice the size of my biggest of fingers, would attract attention. Even the guy in the car next to hers cringed. And the creme de la creme was that she rolled her booger in between her thumb and index finger.
I was lucky the car in front of me moved; otherwise I might have caught another antique of hers which could probably be her eating that booger ball/em> like what the former Italian premier did previously.
I’ll have that with double espresso please.