I looked at her while we were eating just now. She is a far cry from what she was when I first saw her when I broke fast at her place last year. Gone is the haggard look, the ‘exposed’ bones, the tired and blank stare. I see the more radiant and pretty-side of her, bubbly, witty, playful; I see the loving and caring person that she is, as I have always suspected. I have also seen the tears, the pain and frustration of the seven-painful years being married to a wimpy wife-beater, opportunist, free-rider – and I would hold her close to me, and ask her to cry it all out.
When I first met her, I didn’t talk a lot to her; she was preoccupied with the hampers she was making for Hari Raya plus some corporate gifts. Probably a week before Hari Raya, as I was driving home (I was already about to reach home) when she sent me a text asking where I was. I called her up and she sounded down and needed someone to talk to. I immediately made a U-turn and headed her way. Why? I still have not found the reason for doing that; and neither has she, for asking me to meet her. I saw her a few days later at the penjual daging‘s place.
The next time I saw her was a month later – she was with the person who originally introduced us, Spena. Spena had always thought of us to be more compatible than with anyone else. However, this meeting was over lunch, and we felt somewhat awkward meeting each other after a month – but it was a pleasant meet nevertheless. Spena left us immediately after lunch, and I spent a bit more time with her at Uluwatu and MPH.
We never met again – until that wonderful night we both term as Burger Night. That was 4 months later.
And since then, we have talked, kissed, hugged, cuddled, quarreled, laughed…and countless of other things that I may have forgotten about, or forgotten how it felt like, or have not done prior to our becoming an item. She plays her role as a wife, not to be subjugated, not submissive, but as an equal who believes in giving love means receiving more love. While I, give her the love and care and attention that she has never received. She’ll clear the table, I do the dishes; and we would always hug each other after each task is completed. Sometimes she cooks, a blue moon later I would cook. We go out together, do things together, that we would look more lovey-dovey than most couples younger than us do.
I don’t know what it is…but I know I have said this before. Everytime I breathe, I realise that I love her more and more. And it just gets better. And in this second-half of my life, I just want to love her more and more, while I am still able to.
And everytime I drive past a certain point in KL, somehow, a certain radio station would play this very song that started to become famous when we first started going out – and it always makes me think more and more of her.
And as I type this posting, I am missing her terribly.